How much to offer hosts?

[Glugditto]

My parents always host. My siblings and I do contribute food and drinks.

However, I know even the components of the roast can be spendy, so I'd like to offer some cash. We would love to host but our parents have the only house big enough to fit everyone in comfortably and I do feel guilty it falls to them. We all host various things during the year when we can make use of outside space.

What do you think per head for an adult/child under 5? Thank you.

Could you offer to buy a major part of the meal? I hosted last year and my parents bought the beef joint which cost over £100. My sister brought wine and champagne.

Just say you will bring the turkey (or whatever meat you all eat) as that’s usually the priciest part. I’m sure they will be grateful for that.

We make a big ham every year, big enough to feed us all on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day. It feels nicer to contribute part of the meal rather than offering up cash.

The meats already on order through a friends butchers so unfortunately I can't do that, though would be a great idea. We do bring all desserts, lots of cakes + anti pasti type bits. Usually bring wine & champagne too.

When my parents were alive and we spent Christmas together, we split the costs equally.

I think that sounds like a nice amount to bring and contribute. If you want to offer a small amount of cash in addition, perhaps go for £40? Depends on what you're having, I suppose.

I think it's probably around £15 a head averaged out, if you count the whole day including 3 course lunch, breakfast and nibbles in the evening. Maybe £10 a head if you're just going for lunch. Maybe this is more like £20 for an adult and £5 for a child though, depending on what your child eats. Our eldest is a smoked salmon fiend whereas the younger one eats very little and what she does eat is beige.

Thanks all. It's lunch (no starter) and tea but my mum does a lot of baking and puts a huge amount of effort in. This has been very helpful x

Maybe ring up the butcher and pay off the balance if its not been paid for in full. Usually they only ask for a deposit.

Your parents are probably glad to host you and would not want financial compensation. I host my 3 DC, partners and DC to early Xmas each year when they all came to my house last weekend. I would have been hurt if they'd wanted to pay me for doing it. Just seeing them all together was fantastic.

I'd suggest that you and your siblings split the cost of the meat/butcher costs and pay for that. Maybe add a little more each to cover anything additional- electric, sundries, goose fat etc.

We split the cost between the 3 family's who attend.

This. In my experience the balance is only paid when the meat is collected/in as weight may vary.

If you were coming to me and were bringing what you have said above then I wouldnt want any money, and I'd feel awkward if you asked or tried to give it to me. Contributing generously to the food and drink is more than enough in my mind.

We always host every year as we don’t have much choice due to having the most room and personally I am much more thankful when people bring things rather than offer cash as it just takes something off my mind to think about.

MIL always used to bring the desserts - now she just says can I give you the money and it irritates me as it just feels like she CBA to put any effort in whatsoever (sorry that was my personal little rant there as I know you’ve said you also bring things!)

Maybe offer to buy the meat, even if you have to drop it off before the day if you can.

I'd put £100 to £200 on a supermarket gift card and they can use it how they like towards the food order

I think if you bring plenty of drinks, desserts, nibbles etc then financially that's probably enough, unless your parents are particularly short of money.

Maybe offer to bring a whole cheese board if that is something your family tend to do as it is quite expensive.

Otherwise, if you really want to contribute more financially then offer to pay for the turkey - you can ask them exactly how much it cost.

Is money very tight for your parents? Because unless it is, based on the fact that it sounds like you bring loads - wine, snacks, dessert - I would think they wouldn't want cash as well. MIL doesn't bring anything - she's a bit old and frail so no cooking/baking, and she's useless on shopping anyway - so always offers to give me money towards the meat etc which is gratefully received, but for the rest of the family when they ask what they can bring I just allocate things, trying to take finances into account.