So fed up with Christmas this year

[PiperLeo]

I'm normally Mrs Christmas. Old fashioned decorations, Christmas music on or cheesy Christmas movies whilst wrapping presents. I enjoy wrapping so I do it for all of my family too. Bake Christmas cookies and always have an activity available for any of the family that come to visit, aswell as for my own kids.
This year I'm angry.

We were supposed to be moving house this week but it fell through and now I'm feeling all kinds of negative things. We're living out of boxes, can't find anything I need.

Went shopping for new decorations as I do every year... apparently the shops have stopped selling the ones I usually buy. Tried loads of places. I can get them online but they're much more expensive than I usually pay so I don't want to do that. Also I just can't seem to find any Christmas ornaments that I like. We threw out the old ones out whilst packing with the idea to get new ones once we had moved.

I keep seeing adverts for Christmas food with the table all set for huge parties or large families or hearing songs about everyone having fun and parties. My mum died 10 years ago and we haven't had a proper family Christmas since then. My siblings all do their own thing. The in laws act like we don't exist so no chance of having a family Christmas with them. They don't appreciate us visiting for anymore than 5 minutes once a year. Including their own child I may add!!

Friends are all online these days. We don't physically see them as we all live miles apart.

It's a lonely time even though I have my husband and kids. I'm thankful for them and am aware that some people don't have anyone.

Basically I'm miserable and can't seem to find my Christmas spirit this year. Anyone else?

This sounds really hard @PiperLeo . I think the only thing you can do really is make it all about your nuclear family and try not to focus on the wider family who are a bit of a disappointment.

Could you maybe have a party or similar on one of the days between Christmas and New Year but just focus on making The Big Day all about your little family and start making new traditions now? A film you always watch? A meal you always have on Christmas Eve? A game you always play etc?

As time goes on you might find you have friends on their own who would really appreciate being 'scooped up' into a family Christmas but for now maybe it's best just to make the most of what you have? Not to say that you should have to feel happy about that, at all. It sounds like you're really sad about it and that's understandable but maybe in practical terms it's the best way forward for now?

I try every year to host a get together with my closer family. There used to be music and food and a few hours with all the kids running around and exchanging gifts. Now they only stay 20 minutes or they've already eaten or have planned to go for a meal etc. sometimes they're too busy with friends/work nights out etc. I understand that their lives don't revolve around me. I just wish they took some time to appreciate what family we have left.
We don't really have a tradition as such. We watch a certain few movies over the Xmas period but on Christmas day itself, after dinner, it's very boring. The kids go to their rooms, hubby and I just kind of sit around. It's all very Meh! New year is the same.

I find that Christmas is the worst time of year to try and do the things that make it meaningful.

Life is already busy, then you layer on house exams, extra traffic, crowds, tax returns, trying to dry the bloody laundry all the time, add in more money pressure and the chore of trying to buy everyone a present that is “thoughtful”, all the obligatory events like nativity plays, the school fair, the office party. How are you supposed to fit family and friends in?

Increasingly it just feels empty and performative. I see my dm every week, but I’m (mildly) dreading hosting her. I used to be Mrs Christmas but now I’d happily hibernate for December if I could.

Yeah it's definitely not much fun these days. Shall we just give up and hibernate instead? Lol

Oh yes, to me it's the decorations that go up in October and Christmas songs that start playing everywhere around that time. I'm sure I would be feeling much more christmassy if it wasn't for the Christmas spirit being shoved down our throats 2 months in advance. Let me do my Halloween smartshow 3d videos, Christmas can wait till the very beginning of December!

That being said, December is a very busy month either way, so all the holiday rush definitely doesn't make it easier.

Easy tip - you don't need the same decorations you always buy. There are lots of cheap ones.

I don't mean the exact same ones. You know the old ceiling garlands that we remember from the early 90s and before? I put those up. But they have stopped selling them in shops.

Well I sort of think you are entitled to feel a bit low with the house disappointment at the 11th hour.
I would let yourself have a different christmas this year and hopefully the spirit will be back when you are in a new home.
The Tv Christmas adverts aren't like most people's christmas, but from a smaller family and also having lost my DM I know what you mean.
My DD's actually prefer a quieter Christmas and there is still joy to be had in small celebrations/walks/movies/
cocktails.
I think there is a lot of bad news in the world at the moment as well and it is certainly making me feel a bit low. I also think we are still a bit damaged from Covid, family get togethers that stopped and never really got going again.

Bargain buys have the foil stars etc for the ceiling if that helps

Reframe it? That often helps me.

“This is the Hibernation Christmas. With everything packed up, we’re channelling our inner polar bear and staying under the duvet in our cave.

“Minimal decorations and only things that feel cosy and easy and low effort. Stripped down to the essentials - each other, shop bought food, relaxing in front of a film.

“Maximum Christmas can resume if and when we move next year. This year it’s Hibernating all the way.”

It's nice to be understood. I appreciate your reply.

It's definitely going to be a bit more minimalistic this year but we will just write it off and try again next year.

I'm sorry about your DM 😔 x

This sounds like a plan. Pjs and oodies is very appealing lol

Thanks 😊

Thanks, I'll have a look at the weekend x

Actually, I am starting to feel envious, having looked at what PIL are expecting me to do 😂😂

Oops lol I'm sure you'll have a lovely time

I hate the adverts too. They assume everyone has a massive table, massive family and massive budget. A sickening amount of food and everyone laughing their heads off!

I wish they would show a variety of family set-ups and ease up on the mountains of food.

Yeah. Be a tad more realistic. Who the hell can afford all of that anyway? Phh!

We finally found some ceiling decorations but by the time we put them up I just didn't care.
I put the lights on the tree but hubby said we bought new ones last year so he took them off and put the new ones on. Since then they have both stopped working. Tried them in other plugs and still not working so it's definitely the lights. So we put the old lights back on but only half of them are working now! FFS!

Then the outside lights stopped working but I investigated that one and it was just a dead battery issue.

I just cannot be arsed with any of it. Luckily hu by makes Christmas dinner so I don't need to stress about that at least.

I find as I get older I'm just getting bored of it all. As soon as the summer holidays are over the big tubs of sweets are in the supermarket and the card shops have christmas cards in. It seems like christmas lasts for 3 months.

I've noticed more people this year putting decorations up in November.

I find myself longing for the old Christmases when it all seemed so much simpler, when I looked forward to the Christmas specials on TV when there was only a few channels to choose from and you knew that Christmas day TV was going to be good. Now I find it rubbish. When people actually enjoyed the 12 days of Christmas not thinking it's over by Boxing Day and wanting the decorations down. When the Salvation Army used to come round and sing carols and then knock on the door to collect money for charity.

Op im sorry to hear about your house move plains failing. I would make a very nice dinner with main salad sides and pretty dessert or a beloved traditional dessert. Dress up for it…everyone. Make a fancy cocktail or mocktail and have a little happy hour prior to your meal. Get those tree lights working either you or kids or dh get it figured out. Place simple round ball ornaments on it. Lovely in a dark room and country living often features a tree simply adorned. Forgo tv. I hate tv on a holiday. Do a puzzle or one board game together. An hour or two Play music and talk to each other. Thats a full
day and next year will be better. I too have found ornaments to be dull and repetitive this year on the whole.