AIBU?!

[AliensOnPlanetMars]

My other half doesn't like xmas. He's ruin it for past 4 yrs. I use to love xmas putting up my vintage woolies tree listening to xmas music on telly, wearing my silly hat while drinking Baileys, hanging decs up on ceiling, sticking tinsel on the loo & some in my car, but he becomes Scrooge & drags me down to his level. Now I do the tree in silence, no music on or being a daft nut 'cos of him. My elderly parents are not bothering with their tree for first time in 50 odd yrs (I've offered to do it but no 😞) so with Scrooge & my parents like this, AIBU if I said okay, forget it, xmas is cancelled. I'm the only child & don't have kids (can't have any) & Scrooge's family are all deceased so I do xmas for myself to cheer me up. They be expecting me to do xmas dinner though! I'm 52 but act like a kid at xmas, or should say, I use to.

why stay with a man who makes you feel like this?

Firstly, tell Scrooge how his attitude is really making you feel, and if his performative Grinchitude is more important than your feelings, then ask yourself whether you really want to be with someone so selfish and mean.

Secondly, nobody has the right to expect you to cook their dinner. Particularly while they are actively sucking the joy out of something that matters to you.

Put up the tree and put on your music , and cook yourself a Christmas meal for one.

if he isn’t into Christmas he can make himself a non Christmas lunch can’t he?! Stop letting him pick which parts are acceptable for you to celebrate, because it suits him

A partner shouldn't make you feel like you can't be yourself.
He doesn't have to join in but should ruin your enjoyment.

You have the right to enjoy all those things you list. Go do them, enjoy them! If he grinches, tell him politely to stop raining (snowing?) on your parade, you're enjoying yourself and not harming anyone.

If he continues to grinch, turn the music up louder, the fairy lights up brighter, and invite him less politely to fuck right off and not come back until he can fix his face.

Seriously, your partner needs to try to see that you love the Christmas stuff (and lots of people do - it isn't like you're a Sylvanian family fetishist) and at the very least not try to spoil your enjoyment of the festive rituals.

Tell us, what does he think to the turkey dinner? Does he tuck in, or eat it reluctantly? If the former, he's a hypocrite, if the latter, I'd be makingbit clear I'm not including him in the Christmas dinner invite unless he loses the long face.

Just ignore him and do what makes you happy! Stick the music on, put your decorations up and do what you normally do. I can understand how having someone like that in the house might affect the atmosphere but it’s important that you have a nice Christmas so just ignore him if you can. Hope you have a lovely Christmas, OP! Do you have anyone else round at Christmas to lift the atmosphere?🎄

All of the above.

• Do you have a lovely friend or meet up group you could join for a Christmas dinner in a restaurant or their home? You'd have a much better laugh. If I knew you I'd want to celebrate with you! Don't spend it dumbing yourself down for a miserable man.

F that no way would I do a Christmas dinner for them with zero at atmosphere/effort to be festive.

Piss off out with some Festive Friends and leave them to it I say

If someone loves you they don't dismiss your priorities. He doesn't respect you.

Im also 52
Fuck that for a game of soldiers .
Id actually go out for Xmas day if you can afford to.

Thank you all for your replies. I don't know how to reply to each message. How do I reply back? Is it under 'Add Post' as I usually look for a 'Reply' button. I don't want to come across as an ignorant little sod but don't know how to send a message. I know it isn't the three dots on top right corner. I am an idiot 🤦‍♀️

I'm not overly fussed about Xmas, but try and make the most of it for my own wellbeing and DH.

If he really is ruining it and you don't feel like having fun with it, tell him how you feel now and if he's its going to be the same this year, you really don't feel able to put all the usual effort into Xmas and that includes Xmas day, so if Xmas is off you're thinking of x (your favourite meal, not his) for Xmas Day. If you're having others, up to them if they partake if who's on offer.

@AliensOnPlanetMars click the quote button.

Absolute fuck balls would I cook dinner for him.

He can't stop you enjoying Christmas, or anything actually, OP, you are a fully grown woman, blast out your Christmas tunes, treat yourself to a speaker sounds better and can drown out a tv, and blast out whatever Christmas tunes you like.

What are you going to do, sit there eating a roast in silence on Christmas Day?

Moody men who want to control the atmosphere by bringing everyone down soon get bored if you ignore them.

You need to dump him.

With a song. A dumping song.

Preferably while wearing a massive bonnet and staring out over a frozen lake.