How to keep christmas magic/ joy with tween DC

[Radyward]

I'm so sad - my poor DS knew last year about Santa and we saved the joy with a family Kris kindle ie gifts at dinner. He is sadder this year . How can I inject a bit of fun. We are going ice skating and to an ice hockey game. Any suggestions /tips welcome.
Ds us a young tween and lives teddies and really loved Santa 🤶

What about an advent calendar of fun like watching a film, baking, making a donation to the food bank etc?

Aw. Start some new traditions? Christmas Eve event every year? Secretly arrange for his best pal’s family to join you at a light walk or local event/ venue/ for pizza or even just a tour round local streets admiring Christmas decs? Hot chocolate after or kitchen set up to ‘ diy your own ice cream sundae’ with flakes, little sweets, sauce options and adult supervised insertion of sparkler at end etc

Maybe a new tradition for Christmas Eve? Could be get out games such as Uno, Cluedo etc and have nibbles and hot chocolate. Or maybe a film and takeaway? A lovely film if he still likes teddies is The Island of Misfit Toys.

Ours have never really believed in Santa OP. We were very non-committal.

And it hasn't diminished the Christmas magic at all. Explain how the magic is still there and Santa is a symbol that makes it easier for young children to understand it more easily.

We have a book that is Christmas around the world, that's always interesting to pick a country.

The history of our traditions, the tree, yule log, cards, carols. We got the Horrible Christmas book, by the horrible histories crew, that's good fun, and a small one full of Christmas cracker jokes we take in turns to guess the punchline.

There are many magical aspects of Christmas OP, Santa is just one.

If he’s arty do something crafty. Eg do you have a wreath?
If he likes cooking then baking is a no brainer.
If he likes Christmas music then something like a karaoke night.
If he likes the food then what about a taste test? Eg buy mince pies from every supermarket and vote for the best.
There’s a few supermarkets/shops where you can buy a gift for an underprivileged child. My local shopping centre, Dunelm and Morrison’s have this.
Search for a reverse advent calendar.
Are there any younger children in the family do he has an excuse to tag along to see Santa etc?
Could he have a special Christmas sleepover/mini party with friends on the last day of school ?

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but this is why you shouldn’t make FC the magic that holds Christmas together . Our children have made it into adult hood and we all still love Christmas because in essence our Christmas is based around our family traditions , the trees etc as we did FC as a tale right from the start . You need to find new ways to inspire the Christmas spirit @Radyward that you can carry forward to the future years .

@floralnomad I know exactly what you mean. We are in Ireland so Santa/ Santy is massive. As in no one minimises it iykwim and the " lie" and the lengths people go to is over the top!!!
My uk friend and neighbour has always had stocking from Father Christmas only and she is right ! Another mum in the school her kids never believed her sons knew it was impossible that a man in a sleigh could travel the whole world on one-night and when she told me I actually felt sorry for them. ( how awful of me and look who doesnt have this scenario ie an upset deflated sad little lad ) Her kids still love Christmas. Lately I had thought this big world wide lie just isint worth it.
Poor DS he is such a young 12 yr old and so innocent . Thanks all for all the replies
Every year we go to a hotel for a night in a local city. Like he is dying for the KK at christmas dinner. Thank you all.when my kids have kids of their own ill be telling them to have santa as a very small part .

Happy Christmas to you all

Could you encourage him to be a "secret Santa" for the family. So give him a small budget, take him shopping for small gifts for everyone who will be at yours at Christmas. Then he can wrap them ( names on the gifts obviously) and put them in a stocking /pillowcase which "magically" appears on Christmas morning.

I’m in Ireland, but DS (now a young 12) was a born skeptic, and we never did Santa as literally real — his primary class was full of kids from cultural backgrounds who either didn’t celebrate Christmas or did it on a different day or had different non-Santa traditions about who brought presents. He still absolutely adores Christmas, though. He loves going to get the tree together, going to markets, decorating, carols, watching Christmas films, presents, etc. Are you sure you’re not projecting your own sadness onto your son?

@warmfrogpanel
I think you might be right on my sadness. On way to school Today I suggested bringing his bestie ice skating with us and he was delighted. He is in 6th class and has a big part in their class play. It's something current like to do with Trump and he is excited on that

So decision tonight
Christmas music
I'll take it softly
Thank you all so much ❤️

I think rather than trying to throw more and more Christmas treats and activities at your child in an attempt to keep Christmas exciting it would be better to chat about how Christmas is a time when people want to think of others and make them happy and that's why children get gifts at Christmas but now your child is a little older they can start to think of others and make their Christmas a little better. Doing things for others feels good.

Your child could:

Go to the supermarket with a budget for the food bank. If your child has their own money or will use this week's pocket money to go halves with you even better. Encourage them to think what to buy for someone who doesn't have an oven or can't afford to use one. Can they think of healthy/nutritious foods that don't go off?

Visit an elderly friend or relative and take them a treat/chat to them.

Buy a small gift for their family e.g. from a poundstretcher type store or help with writing cards.

Think about what they would like to do that is Christmassy and plan it with you like a movie night or baking.

I think an important thing to understand about Christmas is you get out what you put in. Once you are no longer a small child you start to be part of the team that makes sure everyone has a good Christmas.

I wish everyone on the thread about how essential it is for kids to believe in Santa could read this.

Late Late Toy Show tonight, too?

It's been really lovely this pm. We put up the tree and they really enjoyed it.we all helped and my 16 yr old loved it . We all sat down for the toy show and I made hot choc in christmas mugs and we all hung out it was just lovely. My HB hates the Ts and was acting like a total grimch but we just ignored him. But it's not even treats its just being together which is lovely.( my 16 yr old is in her room ALL the time )

So since this morning my DD is going skating with his bestie and the school is doing a charity / vincent de paul collection so on Monday we will go after school to pick some nice things for another family. Thought it was such a lovely suggestion by someone upthread. Thank you all so much xx

@winter2020
Being part of team so that everyone has a good christmas is such a great idea 💡

May I ask what book this is please?

Just to update
We went to the shop this pm to buy for families less fortunate than us. He really got into it as did my Daughter. It was lovely and felt great. I'm ordering the christmas horrible histories book as I looked at it online and my god it does the history of giving/ crackers etc. I'm even fascinated. He is delighted over him and bestie going ice skating. I think myself I had really bought into christmas being rubbish if you no longer believe as that was what it was like in my house growing up once you were a non believer you were given a card and cash . I used think I didn't want cash just a present my parents might buy me. Even something tiny would have meant more. Saying that my parents were great to us growing up in other ways. I am really looking forward to christmas this year. Thank you all and as well not over treating to make up in a way resonated with me too. Tk s all !

Great update OP.
Hope you have a very happy Christmas!

@winter2020 Ah thank you Have a fab Christmas 🎄 😊

A bit like @WarmFrogPond I was wondering if he's really sad or if you're just seeing him grow up a bit and reading sadness into greater maturity. I'm sure he'll be fine with our without magic. I'm Jewish so don't celebrate and I've noticed an increased fixation in the last 10 years with making Christmas 'magical' and some parents seem to drive themselves a bit nuts about it when their kids are probably fine. I think maybe replace magical with 'meaningful' and that might make it a bit easier for the whole thing to grow up with the kids

And sounds like you've done just that on reading your update.

Love this!! Putting this in my notes for next year as I think this is the last year of DS believing.

I heard an idea on a podcast; when you no longer believe in the magic, you become the magic for other people. 🥰🎄

@Radyward aww just read the update, that fab, have a lovely Christmas! 🥰🎄