Passive-aggressive fantasy gifting - come and indulge your darkest inclinations here!

[sprigatito]

Not for the humourless ⚠️

What gifts would you secretly love to give your nearest and dearest? I'll start:

My dad (whom I love dearly but drives me bonkers) - a large print, very basic book about cat nutrition. Maybe he would finally get it into his head that we are not just being meanies when we intercept him trying to give them milk/leftover curry/chilli

DS2: a ping pong ball with a face on it (to go in the loo), a pair of Marigolds and a toilet duck

Mil :perfume, poison

Very good!

There does seem to be a healthy market for step-by-step guides to not being a massive A-hole 😂

Hoarder MIL: the Swedish death cleaning book.

@DaveClifton I dare you ...

We used to have an awful family member (by marriage) whose Andrew Tate style vile views on women were despicable. Occasionally, we had to tolerate his company, as long as he kept his opinions to himself. We used to buy him cards and gifts with cute animals like dolphins or penguins on them, ditto the wrapping paper. Cute animals that have a dark side when it comes to consent. It made us feel better. Thankfully he is no longer a part of our family.

The beginners guide for "how not to be a sneery, bitchy pain in the arse to people you seem to view as lesser than you which is apparently everyone on this side of the family even if they've only ever gone out of their way to be nice" in hardback with lovely guilded lettering on the cover for my Sil.

I'll club in on the plane fare.

My DH - a calendar with a note on the 1st day of every month which says "put £10 away for DW's Xmas and birthday" and then another note on 2nd November "check with DW what she wants for Xmas/birthday".
Every year I'm hopeful of receiving something I want and every year he disappoints (and he's usually been exceptionally mean)! Last year was the world's smallest jigsaw and a sudoku puzzle book!
He asked me this week and I made a couple of suggestions which were replied to with I can't afford that!

Are you my eldest DDiL? I don't think my house is too bad but she, obviously, disagrees! 🤣

Love this thread.

Haven't thought of anything to add yet but in past years my MIL has always deliberately put “love from” on my DH and DC’s Christmas presents and not on mine. It shouldn’t bother me really but it feels very petty. Especially when I am the one that pushes DH and DC to visit and ring her. I always make an effort to be kind to her, include her and buy her lovely presents.

This example is just one of many ways that she tries to belittle me. Believe me, she knows exactly what she’s doing.

DH never noticed but last year I mentioned it to him in passing. He didn’t seem bothered so left it at that.

However it turns out he did listen and has written the present tags for his side of the family - he’s put love on them all except his Mums.

For fil 'Cats in the cradle' sung to him by Carol singers.

Penis glitter filled card to my LA SEN department ( various reasons) and a printed copy of the SEN code of practice.

For my dh who is a trades man. A book on household DIY.

I need one of those timers for MIL. I don’t think I’ve ever successfully finished a sentence around her.

After a lot of the threads you read on here about useless husbands, it's lovely to hear yours has got your back. It's very sweet of him, and very clever!

This teatowel is available from fascinating Aida. I'd like to give it to my Mum.

For my MIL, a book on Munchausens By Proxy

I wonder if it's too late to order a few dozen of these

My MIL - some cleaning products so she could actually get her finger out and clean her grubby house.

Snap with my mum, even when the answer she’s interrupted is a question she has asked me.