To stop buying for friends kids?

[Blackberryandcherry]

I started buying for one of my good friends kids when she had her first baby 10 years ago, she’s since had another 3 children with ages ranging from 2 up to 10.

Normally I would buy something small for each of them, usually around £10 each. However, this ends up being a bit of a stab in the dark as I don’t see the children (she prefers to meet me in the evening for dinner/drinks to get out of the house) and this has become increasingly difficult as they have got older. I just have no idea what they’d be in to.

I met my friend for a glass of wine last week and she was complaining about how many gifts they all receive at Christmas and Birthdays due to having a large family, and a lot of which ends up being regifted.

So now I am debating about whether to stop buying? Is this mean? I don’t know whether to get them something tiny (eg. chocolate), or whether to continue, or stop buying all together.

What does everyone think?

Sounds like a massive hint. Accept it! The children will be fine.

If the kids don’t even really know you, I’d stop and save yourself the £40! It might have been a hint, and maybe your friend feels guilty that you’re sending her household a bag full of presents that they clearly don’t need.
Either stop completely or buy one joint gift for the family, like a board game.

Joint family gift like a game or a big box of chocs for them to share

Absolutely stop! I used to buy for a cousin and rarely got a thank you. One Easter she rang and part of the conversation was that she knew I had sent Xmas gifts but they got so many she couldn't remember what they were but thanks! Never bought her kids any again.

Agree with this. Fine to stop entirely but if you don't want to do a game or chocolates.

As others have said OP, it's a hint. No need to continue.

I would do whatever she does for you.

That's a hint. If you don't want to stop completely I'd get them a selection box each.
4 kids all getting toys at birthday and Christmas she will have accumulated a heck of a lot of stuff.

Definitely stop. Kids get so much nowadays from just close family. They don't need extra from family friends.

Thanks all. I honestly don’t think she meant it as a hint as she’s super polite, so I think she probably said it without thinking but either way it’s helpful to know.

I think this year I’ll just get them a card and family board game. I haven’t bought for any of my other friends kids as it’s so hard to stop once you start - lesson definitely learnt.

Buy them all a selection box and leave it there.

Does she buy you anything?

Maybe she didn't mean it as a hint, just a moan about clearing stuff to make way for new stuff, and the stress of trying to come up with ideas for her younger kids when she already has loads of toys and all the obvious stuff kids what.

You just need to read the Christmas boards ideas for 2nd and 3rd children is hard.

But your right once you start it's hard to stop.

We normally just go out for a nice meal in January instead of gifts and I am child free.

Yes I think it was just a general moan to be honest and I think she’d be mortified if she thought I had taken it as hinting.

I am completely stumped as what to buy the older kids so think I’ll just do a family gift and hopefully that’ll be a good compromise.

Family gift, consumables or £10 in card for the older kids might be another option.

I agree - she's hoping you take the hint!!