Help with food hamper for elderly relative

[Couchto5ktowine]

I have a relative who lives alone and is struggling financially. I’m in a position to help but she’d be mortified if I, for example, sent vouchers. So the best idea I’ve come up with is to try and send a food hamper that provides a wide variety of goods that can see her through for a bit. So, some Xmas luxury bits but it can’t all be that. All ideas especially of suppliers welcome!

I don’t have anyone I can reasonably ask for ideas on what she needs and while I know I can ‘build my own delivery’ through a supermarket it needs to look like a Xmas gift and not like charity - I’m not a close relative, just fortunate enough to be able to help. What can I say, families are complex <thumps forehead>

HELP! Budget £75-£100 but can flex for something great.

Having just had a quick look even at Marks & Spencer’s ones I honestly believe you would be much better buying stuff you think she might like putting it in a hamper basket yourself because you can buy something online from Amazon you would actually get more for your money that way, and I think it would be better

I was once in financial trouble and was sent a worthy Xmas hamper when others were sent ones full of treats. My advice to you is if want to make it look like a Christmas gift then fill it with things you would like to get at Christmas yourself. There is no reason why someone who isn’t well off should be denied the fun stuff. She will know what you are doing otherwise, take it from me. In case I haven’t made it clear, I was very upset and still remember what it felt like.

Definitely make your own. I do this for dd as she is a student and I did it for my aunt and uncle too. You are right to put in some Christmassy bits too so it comes across as a gift.

If you genuinely want the relative to have some nice food then please put together your own hamper. The ready made ones always just have things that no one actually wants to eat. Particularly the ones for around £100 will just have some weird chutney, overpriced jam, etc. I have received quite a few over the years and they are always incredibly disappointing!!

Thanks everyone. I get it, I really do. I just don’t know her well enough to know what she’d like; combined with I think her age is starting to restrict what she enjoys. So what I’d like, she’d not like! But thank you.

If you don't know what she'd like and can't ask, then you'd have to just go generic.

Ready-made 'gifty' Christmas hampers are usually a bit disappointing, as @Notcontent says. Overpriced for what you get, some pretty boring shortbread, jam and chutney, tea, etc. None of it are the stuff you'd usually have every day, or particularly what you would pick for yourself, so it's a halfway house of ostensibly a treat but not as nice as something picked out just for you because the giver knows you love peppermint creams.

If you make it yourself and put things like tins of Heinz tomato soup and a bag of pasta and stuff in it then it would inevitably end up looking a bit more like a food bank parcel than a Christmas gift. So you'd probably have to replicate the ready made ones to some extent.

I’d also make your own but I’d include some nicer bits. I did one for a relative and bought it from Aldi! Lots of specially selected stuff in tins. Soup, olive oil, fancy pastas, lots of crackers and wax wrapped cheese, chutney. A little bottle of tawny port, chocolate florentines and a mini panettone.
, filter coffee, nice jam, a Christmas candle, some nice hand cream. I put in a box with bits of tissue, cellophane across top and a bow. It was well received. I felt like it hit the right note between useful and a Christmas treat.

i think if you stick with treats, it will fill her up and leave her own money for essentials. I would try to pick things in small containers so that she is not having to eat the same thing continually.
Tinned red salmon which is really expensive
tinned ham, corn beef or spam.
small boxes of crackers lots.
Hot chocolate
old fashioned boiled sweets
Nice chocolates bendicks
clarnico mint creams
small jams and marmalaids
slab fruit cake
maderia cake

I think I'd be looking at regular supermarket staples... like tea bags, biscuits, pasta, past sauces cereals but - buy them from a supermarket "top" range so like Tesco Finest, or go to waitrose.
If you buy "higher" end stuff OK you may get a bit less - but it will look more of a gift, which is the feel you're after.
Obviously there are tonnes of festive stuff int he shops right now - and you should include some bits like that.... but you can "top it up" with top brand versions of things like marmalade, tea, cereals biscuits (even toiletries can be added) etc which are useful all year round.

I do one every year for an elderly make relative

I buy a nice basket or a really great box (tk maxx) and fill it with things he likes eg things I've done before

Mini bottles of red and white wine ( he wouldn't open a full size just for himself)
Small half bottle of rum and whisky and port

Cornish cruncher biscuits from M&S
Posh M&S soup that he likes (Italian tomato one from shelf)
Mini mince pies
A small one person Christmas pudding
A one person sticky toffee pudding
Figs
Large bar of galaxy chocolate
Box of Maltesers
Chocolate orange
Walnut whips
Pate
Aldi crackers he likes
Carluccios balsamic
Clementines
Chocolate coins
Festive handwash
Mini Stilton
Tin of rice pudding
Bonne Manan blackcurrant jam
Jar of pears in brandy or calvados
Pickled walnuts (family tradition)

I have previously used The British Hamper Company for my folks, they loved it. Lots of different sizes/prices and GF or vegan options:

www.britishhamper.com

I would get hold of a box that's the size for a medium Royal Mail parcel (it's pretty big), line with a bit of red and green tissue paper for a festive touch then fill with genuinely useful things like normal tea and instant coffee (if they drink them), jam, stuffing, bisto (bit Christmassy but useful more generally), mini Christmas cake perhaps, then things like condiments, oil, pasta and sauce, spice pastes, tuna, anchovies, canned soup (or packets of cup of soup maybe), crackers (not Christmas selection packs, 2-3 separately wrapped packs), tinned ham perhaps. Don't forget some biscuits then, again separate packets rather than a fancy tin. Perhaps toiletries too

If you don't want to put it together yourself I found this company
https://secrethamper.com/hampers/student-hampers/

They do 'friend in need' hampers. Don't know if it will feel special enough though but you could maybe request some Christmas bits are added?

I think the op has got it right. Supermarket staples will definitely seem like a charity gift.

As we do not know her health or ability I would avoid anything that needs cooking. I would not go for pasta, pasta sauce or spice pasties. A lot of older people, not all I know, lose their taste for strong flavours.

My DiL sends a Fortnums hamper each year. Most goes to the food bank.

If you want to buy a gift as well then an electric can opener. I cannot open cans without mine

Agree with this. I have received some very expensive and very disappointing hampers. Generally they are a bit of a rip off.

If you're going to arrange for a hamper to be sent, don't leave it too near Christmas. Just thinking she may have bought one or two of the items already and you might end up doubling up on some things, rather than helping her save money as she's already bought stuff. I say this as SIl regularly gives us a hamper Xmas Eve/Boxing Day and it's usually got a lot of things we've bought in and really wouldn't want any more of.

If you're seeing your relative, the alternative would be to make a hamper up yourself and put better quality tea, coffee, maybe tin of salmon (if you think they'd go for that), savory treats, as well as a mini Xmas cake, chocolates, biscuits etc, small bottle(s) of wine.

Really nice to think about your relative.

I think as pp said; buy normal foodstuffs but better than she would buy herself everyday ie naice! and then add in some Christmas treats. Hampers often just duplicate what you have already bought and it is no good having over the top gifts when you have run out of tea for example.

tinned ham, corn beef or spam.

Nobody wants Spam for Christmas, come on.

Is there an Italian shop near you? A lot of things that are staples (pasta, sauce) will look a lot fancier if they are continental brands. Obviously it depends a lot on your relative’s preferences.

I do. I have poor digestion, like a lot of elderly people and can only eat small amounts. I can’t eat proper meat. Spam and salmon and shrimp paste are nostalgia for me. I think we have to remember that she is described as elderly.

I think the key thing is probably to carefully combine staples with nice things in a way that looks like the staples are to go with the nice things.

So several individual packets of crackers, some nice waxed cheeses (if they wouldn't mind that they had been posted - I wouldn't, some would). Lidl do great potted pates that don't need to be kept in the fridge - feels more special than tinned ham. You could add a jar of chutney and a half size bottle of wine so that section feels like a "cheese and wine" section - even if in reality it has quite a lot more crackers than would naturally come with a hamper. You could add some cheese biscuits or some cheese straws etc as well.

That would probably set you back £20-£25 if you maxed out on it.

M and S Gold teabags are a relatively big box but nice and inexpensive. They also do really nice, but not super expensive, packets of biscuits - so could do their Viennese finger and other bits which would be a real treat but you could definitely put a few packets in. Add in a packet of their super chocolatey shortbreads or similar for a top treat - or their Swiss rolls are really nice and last a few weeks I think (I like the strawberries and cream and the triple chocolate best).

This is maybe £15-£20 depending how much you buy and forms a kind of "tea and cake" section.

So you could have done those two, then add in your classic Christmas bits: a Christmas cake, an individual sticky toffee pudding, a box of chocs.

Finally, if they have a favourite cuisine, you might be able to do some bits that would go nicely to jazz up other cooking they're going to do - so if it's Italian it might be nice olive oil, a jar of sun-dried tomatoes, one of the magic belazu sun-dried tomato pastes or some Bomba tomato puree, some pitted dried olives or whatever.

Or if it's traditional British stuff, maybe some dried mushrooms would be useful (they're annoyingly expensive), and some pickled walnuts, some Worcestershire sauce, a load of dried bay leaves.

Or whatever cuisine they actually like.

It's not going to be able to be a parcel of staples without looking like a parcel of staples. But you can do a decent number of calories and nice foods and ways that they can make their budget they do have stretcher further without it seeming like a food parcel.

The thing is if you dont know her well then a pre made hamper is just as likely to be wrong as one you fill yourself, and one you do yourself will still be better value! Is there any closer relative you could ask just to check does she eg, eat meat, cheese, any allergies?

I'd aim for nice stuff with a decent shelf life so if she's not a big eater then it will still be used. If you give staples that are obviously 'posh' you can hopefully avoid the food parcel look. Anything that is a local produce rather than a generic brand would be my choice. Any farm shops near you?

Possibilities:
Good quality Cheddar (I'd go a local one over supermarket type) maybe a fancier cheese too but Cheddar is quite safe.
Tin of crackers for cheese
Tin of shortbread
Tea bags or coffee (really need to know which, tea pigs do nice gifty looking stuff)
Cured meat like little whole salamis
Salmon (thinking nice breakfasts?)
Christmas puddings (individual)
Olives
Pate
Really nice jam and marmalade.
Honey
Mince pies
Crisps
Nuts
Dates (my parents always had these at Christmas)
Christmas cake? Or panettone.

Fresh- posh butter, the stuff that is in logs

Fresh custard (and/or cream, but might be a bit heavy for an older person)
Soft cheese
Small loaf of nice bread, can get decorated ones. Sourdough is 'in' but I hate it and if in doubt would stick to more traditional.
Bacon
Ham

Aldi hampers are great. Good price, feels like a treat but nothing too outlandish you don't end up eating. 100% recommend over Fortnum.