How to disclose the truth about Father Christmas?

[NotathomeforChristmas]

Any advice or tips gratefully received, please!

We've got an 8 year old who is teetering on the edge of being a believer. Our 12 year old knows The Truth but has kept the secret faithfully.

8 year old's skepticism is growing all the time, and she is asking lots of questions (and has refused to tell us what she'd like for Christmas, insisting the letter is going directly to the North Pole without us seeing it...)

Do we tell her now, or try to hold on for another year?

I know there are some nice books about the "real magic" of Christmas being in the hearts of those who keep the story alive- does anyone have any specific recommendations please?!

An added complication is that we'll have our niece who is only 4 (in reception) staying with us the weekend before Christmas and I am wrestling between wanting my 8 year old to have the last Christmas as a believer, but not wanting her questions to let the cat out of the bag for our niece...

I think the best I've read is you slide into 'being Santa' just like the grotto Santa's are 'being Santa' you can now 'be Santa' for others and that gradually shows that we are all 'being Santa' and the man in the North Pole is a symbol of all of us being Santa for each other

Brilliant

My son asked me when he was 10 to tell him to truth and so I did. He was quite gutted really, I think he was really hoping he was real. Son was going into year 6 though so I felt we had had a good run. Daughter is 9 and in year 4 and has never doubted it until last week when her older friend said Santa wasn’t real. She asked me tearfully if that was true and I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. She didn’t demand I tell her the truth like my son did. It’s also way too close to Christmas to break it to her so I said well I think he’s real and she look relieved and scampered off. But I think this will definitely be my last Christmas with her believing. But At least they will both have had up to age 9 enjoying the magic which isn’t bad going.

I would try and keep it going one more Christmas op. And as for the letter just let her seal it and put it on the side ready to post the next day. When she’s gone to bed, open it (use steam) to see what she wrote and seal it back

My mum told me in the run up to Christmas and I always wished that she let me had one last year of believing.

Cannot understand this "one last year of believing". If they're old enough to work it out for themselves then good on them. You can be a bit "what do you think" and have it be tongue-in-cheek for the last year, but honestly we're supposed to be raising them!

My ds said the same thing when he was about 9 and they were doing about myths and legends at school! He asked if Father Christmas was a myth and I asked if he really wanted to know. He said yes and then when I told him he burst into tears and he said we'd never mention it again! (He is ND).

@Manthide did you say he is a "myth" ?
Because that's wrong.
He evolved from St Nicholas - a real person.

I’ve not told my children yet - they are all in their late teens and 20s 😬

I just say things like “ what do you think “ and “ If he’s not real where to the presents come from “ .

i love Christmas - my kids say that when I’ve got dementia they will put me in a home, put up a Christmas tree in the corner of my room, play Christmas carols and I’ll be happy forever.

I carried on with Santa long after my DD knew it was just a myth, it became a bit of a family joke. I would always put out a sherry and mince pie for Santa and a carrot for Rudolph. I never told her or confirmed he wasn't real.

Well it is a myth that he comes down the chimney and delivers presents! I knew what ds meant. He is 21 and we still don't mention it. He has a neice and nephew now and he will really struggle if they ask him as he is very particular about the truth.

St Nicholas did deliver gifts though!
So surely that's a legend rather than a myth?

Mine found out age 4/5yrs!!! I said oh you won’t want any gifts then they soon shut up but most interest in grotto etc as knew he wasn’t real “just a man dressed up”.

My 9 year old has had 2 or 3 kids at school going round telling Santa isn't real.

And my gut feeling was similar to what you've written here, that the questions were testing the waters and not ready to know yet.

So I just made light of it, moved the conversation on, waffled on a bit.

This convo was early November and this week has been on countdown to when the elf arrives. We've did our traditional hour plus walk around smyths toys today after school for Christmas list ideas. So lots of excitement.

I wasn't sure about doing the grotto and have asked tonight to gauge whether to book something: what have been your favourite things in December, what are you most looking forward to, and visiting santa has been top experience.

Magic doesn't last forever and I don't think it's a bad thing protecting that if our gut feeling is they still want it.

Letting kids have one more year of believing if you know they’re going to be sad about having it confirmed in December that Santa isn’t real is hardly not raising your kids 😂

@Frozensnow Well I'm sort of joking there, but when DS told me, quite seriously, I answered "well, what do you think?" and he said "I know it's you and Dad" I was proud of him for working it out! I said "yes, it's just a traditional folk tale". In all honesty I think Santa's logistical feat is less impressive to kids who have grown up with Amazon Prime.

I don’t understand the whole ‘one more year of magic ‘ , we did FC as a legend / story and all our christmases were magical and still are and our children are adults .

Great question - I still remember a moment of realisation that I was lying to my child for the first time when we put reindeer food out and my four year old genuinely waited at the window all day and I could see his belief that they would come - I felt so guilty! But as my hubby pointed out I would have felt more guilty if I’d taken that magic away from them when little. Now my eldest three children ‘know’ but have never asked outright (well I’m pretty sure they know at 15!) the youngest still believes or makes a good show of it at 8. We just treat it all with a wink! and the solstice is also a big celebration in our family so we link it to that also and the deer mother. The kids know that Father Christmas used to wear green, is based on old beliefs of father winter, different countries celebrate in different ways - their cousins get gifts on Xmas eve, friends get them on 6th December etc.. it’s never been a problem. I’m sure your child will do her own investigations but then want to carry on with the magic too. I don’t know many kids who have really wanted it said in black and white that it’s all a big lie! I still dont! One of my children conducted an experiment to see if the tooth fairy was real and then was disappointed that she knew and then I heard her seriously advise her siblings never to check. She still puts the teeth out carefully at 13…