Help needed present suggestions for someone who will be having cancer treatment

[Runningupthecurtains]

My default gift for my impossible to buy for Dad is booze, but as he will be in the middle of radiotherapy this Christmas I don't think a bottle of whiskey will do this year so what can I get? Has anyone found the perfect gift for someone who will be in (and hopefully out) of hospital for the next few months?

Bear in mind his skin will be sore so some supersoft clothes like lounge clothing could be good.

For my loved one, who is having cancer treatment I got them a personal blanket with whole family on it. Not a massive blanket, but one they could lay over their lap and keep warm as they have treatment.

I am crocheting him a blanket - I doubt it will be ready for Christmas though.

Please don't suggest things that medicalise Christmas giving. A thermometer as a gift? And a sippy cup to make him feel like a toddler? Those are things that can be bought or supplied when absolutely needed. Not to be wrapped in gift paper for Christmas morning.

"Happy Christmas Dad, here's a few things to remind you that you've got cancer!"

Believe it or not,the best present I got my friend when she was having radiotherapy treatment was aquaphor cream,recommended by doctors and not cheap,so something practical but the lovely thought behind it too.

That’s lovely, unfortunately I’m not very creative but definitely a lovely idea.

A long enough charging cable. Comfortable lounge wear. DH had bile duct cancer and started chemo on Christmas Eve 2021, I remember how bleak that day felt. I wish you and your dad well.

I’m really sorry to hear about what you and your dad are coping with. Personally I’d go to TK Maxx and find the softest t shirt. Something to wear that’s not PJs, not something medical, just ‘normal’ but still useable throughout his treatment. Good luck x

You're a lovely daughter, OP. I haven't got any useful suggestions though!

I fear I am that tricky person this Christmas, although I'm usually easy to buy for, as I'm in the middle of chemo (surgery and radiotherapy to come). Everything tastes disgusting, I've gone off chocolate, am super sensitive to smells, so no perfume or scented candles, and my skin is really sensitive, so that rules out most things I am usually given!

I went through surgery, chemo, radio etc and effects do vary by person but it is difficult if can't do food and drink and that's what normally get. I would have preferred nothing medical or reminding me had cancer or thinking of me just as a cancer patient.

Has he got any interests or pets? Those would be good. Only other thing is maybe photo gifts - you can get things like blankets and cushions with photos of pets / people / any photo. www.vistaprint.co.uk/

I wish you and everyone else undergoing treatment or recovering from it all the very best. Dad isn't hard to buy for because of his cancer - he's hard to buy for full stop.
Every year I pour over the what to buy for difficult to buy for men threads and nothing. He doesn't have any hobbies that give themselves to gift giving, he is an infrequent reader who will devour a book and rave about it but leave the next in the series unread. He is a northern bloke of a certain generation so skincare, grooming etc are not his thing (imperial leather soap, brute aftershave and swarfega are probably the only things to ever be applied to his skin!). He has phone/tablet/laptop/desktop and all the accessories.
I've spent 30+ years moaning at him about being hard to buy for and that he is the man who has everything (to which he always replies 'I tell you what a don't have, a Ferrari' or 'a mansion in Beverley Hills' or 'a striker than can find the back of the net' if his football team are on a bad run but never anything I could actually buy him).

I find when poorly people become themselves but more so. Those that are ill and those that love them both. When my Dad was diagnosed with cancer, I did all the little things that I knew he loved. He wasn’t a man who found it easy to talk about feelings. So I wrote him a card (this was for Father’s Day but Xmas card works just as well) with just one sentence in it. I told him that he wasn’t any easy person to help but he was an easy person to love so I was going to concentrate on loving him. I then gave him the gift of my time. I sat with him while he slept, held the bowl while he was sick, we watched his favourite shows when he felt well enough etc. My Dad was emotionally and physically abused as a child by his parents so being cared for in this way meant more to him than it would to most. I also used to call him up and moan to him about little niggles in my life that he would under why why hurt so he didn’t have to offer any real advice but he could still be “my Dad” and not just the poorly one. He also over identified with the rescue of abused animals, especially primates - so my sibling got him a year’s subscription to caring for a rescued primate in a sanctuary that he’d watched a programme on and a Cushion with the primates photo on. I think that was probably his most favourite gift ever! I’m not saying that what worked for my Dad would work for yours but something from you that your Dad knows is you saying I love you would be what I would recommend.

If you’ve put the same gift for the last decade or so, I would still buy it even though he can’t use it but get a second “real” gift.

Hope you’re doing ok.

Oh, maybe you could bake a cake with whisky soaked fruit so he can enjoy the flavour with a cut of tea without the alcohol?

I just popped back in to suggest a lovely wooden tea box. Maybe you could set him up his own personalized tea station with a mug that means something to him, his favourite tea bags, sugar in an easy to open jar, etc,

I would buy something merino - a top or socks or a beanie hat.

Or a heated blanket if he hasn't got one already.

DSis did his n hers heated throws for auld folk last Christmas.

I think the whisky flavoured cake is a great idea. I’m sure somewhere like Betty’s would do one. Could even be sliced and frozen in individual portions once it’s opened to take out at times he fancies it.

I agree with@saraclara to avoid anything that seems overly connected with illness/hospital

A dab radio that can be easily moved around?
Audiobooks?

A box of things like Wine Gums is also a good idea a pp gave. Also the nice soft T-shirt or jumper someone mentioned already.

It doesn't sound like he's a stuff kind of man. Does he have a favourite footballer player or a legend from his team? You could get him a Cameo video message from someone he respects or admires.

https://www.cameo.com/

I got my dad a cashmere scarf when he was having treatment. He wore it all the time and said it was his favourite Christmas present that year.

I've got cancer and some of the things I've found most useful are:

Lap tray
Lego
Puzzle books
Good headphones
Audible and spotify subscriptions
Neals Yard hand sanitiser spray
Neal's Yard bath salts

My dad sounds exactly the same as yours in terms of lack of real hobbies etc. Mines tech illiterate though which doesn't help.
He's about to undergo an elbow replacement and waiting for a cancer diagnosis so makes things even more difficult

On my list this year..... socks ... I know...very unoriginal, slippers... because he actually said he wanted some new ones, a sock puller up thing...not sure how to describe it but helps people who have probs putting socks on (amazon), and um...that's it so far.

Several years ago when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer I bought him a nice notebook and pen so he could write down any thoughts he didn't want to share with us.
I might try and find him a daft stress reliever thing this year and ......well I habe no idea but I'll be following this thread.
Hope your dad gets through everything OK.

You don't mention which cancer type but if it's one where radio is likely to cause a patch of hair loss or all over (brain or head and neck but depends, he will have been told), maybe a home visit from a good barber a couple of weeks in for a professional tidy up, shave. In all honesty I'm not sure if I'd have appreciated this preemptively but just a thought. Or even if it won't cause hair loss, might be nice if he can't get out as much (this is of course if he hasn't already had hair loss from chemo/ non cancer related)