Adult children how much do you spend and any ideas?

[TheMoonismadeofcheese]

I wonder how much is average to spend on adult children, grandchildren etc. I feel quite overwhelmed with it all these days. Any ideas for unusual presents? Mine are all in their 30's and none are well off.

My parents would have spent around £100 per couple (we're all married) and £25 per grandchild ISH but don't do stockings or anything. So for me it could be loads of little bits and same for DH or if we wanted a bigger present it would be joint. They have 4 kids and 9 grandchildren so far and as the rest of us also can't keep up with our expanding family we have all agree for do kids only which has lessened the pressure on everyone! Not gonna lie though last Christmas was odd as after nearly 40 years I was quite used to the bits and bobs from mum and dad ,😊 but just made me more grateful for all the years they did do it (I'm the youngest!)

We will probably give £200 cash plus £100 on gifts and a stocking.

3 DS's ( 30,27,23)
£100 each this year. DS2's lovely DP £50
No GC yet

If they are not well off then I would probably ask them what they want instead of buying an unusual present.

One Xmas the most coveted gift in our family was a backscratcher - a telescopic pole with a mini hand at the end of it!

I do a December Xmas basket/bag with goodies to enjoy over the month and things like festive plate/candles etc. Then around £250/300 worth of presents/cash combo. Last year I think I bought £150 ish presents and £150 of euros as DS (25) was going on holiday in March. DS Girlfriend gets about £50 spent on her. Both work.

Adult dd is a single mum on benefits (she is a student and works part time too) so she gets a bit more like £400-500 on her as she rarely treats herself. She got new trainers and uggs last year… plus a night away with her mum friends and some other bits and bobs wrapped up too. P

grandkids get around £100/150. No set budget though

About £1k for DD 20

Christmas is getting ridiculous. When do parents stop? Christmas used to be about kids and adults were happy with a small gift. Now people are spending £250,£500 on 26 year olds!!

Depends on how much ££ there is to go round. Mostly we do secret Santa. Otherwise cash.

I've never once managed to do Christmas for less than £1000
Every year I worry and stress ,it's the biggest expense of the year and I have to save up for it .every year I try to reduce what I spend
I have 4 DC all young adults and I really want to give £100 each and a stocking and under the tree present each.but I'm worried it's not enough .

If the DC don't have much money I'd suggest a secret santa for the adults. Its not just about how much you spend on them, its also about how much they spend on others. It may be too late this year but suggest it for next year.

Then I'd claim parents rights and also do a stocking for each child and a family gift that they can use during the year like a family pass to a leisure centre or the zoo. You can put a range of things in an adult stocking from body lotion to vouchers for costa.

I only spend what is comfortable for me but generally pick up a few of stocking stuff during the year.

This is basically what I do but without the family present as we don't have grandchildren.

We did a secret Santa last year. I ended up buying them all something extra anyway . I had all the work and stress and most of the expense. I got one cheap present that I sent to a charity shop afterwards. It just felt miserable. One of the children looks forward to Xmas all year and doesn’t have much. It just felt depressing. On the other hand, just spending for the sake of it seems wrong. I rarely get anything Inreally want myself. OH and I gave up buying for each other years ago!

My parents spend around £50 on each of me, my husband (40s) and our DC (11+9).

Last year we got:
Me - earrings, pjs, books
DH - t shirt, port, chocolates
DS - young driver lesson voucher, gan cube
DD - Go Ape voucher, slime kit
Joint kids present - chess set

probably about £75

spend what you can afford
no need to go mad

i normally ask them what they want,
normally buy ds a jumper and a shirt

How miserable for Christmas to be just about kids and I don’t think that teaches them anything good. Christmas here is about everyone, so yes fun and presents for the kids but also for the adults, it’s wonderful and means we don’t have as much angst or sadness about kids growing up and it not being magical, as it’s always a magical day regardless of whether there’s young kids around.

Christmas is getting ridiculous. When do parents stop? Christmas used to be about kids and adults were happy with a small gift. Now people are spending £250,£500 on 26 year olds!!

What a load of rubbish, my family doesn’t have any young DC, is Christmas not for us then?

TheMoonismadeofcheese · Today 06:14

We did a secret Santa last year. I ended up buying them all something extra anyway . I had all the work and stress and most of the expense. I got one cheap present that I sent to a charity shop afterwards. It just felt miserable. One of the children looks forward to Xmas all year and doesn’t have much. It just felt depressing. On the other hand, just spending for the sake of it seems wrong. I rarely get anything Inreally want myself. OH and I gave up buying for each other years ago!

Sorry to hear that, I do a little list for my adult DC and they work it out between them what each one of them buys. Last year I received mini Frexinet wine, tea lights, a cineworld gift card, my favourite M&S chocolate and some nice hand cream.

Would you like your DH to exchange presents so that you have something extra to open?

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1812925205/personal-opoly-customised-board-game?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=personalopoly&ref=sr_gallery-1-1&local_signal_search=1&content_source=b1a208d8594646a2b9aa7798cb4c398e024c3f48%253A1812925205&search_preloaded_img=1&organic_search_click=1

I have one adult (22) and two teens (17, 15)
DS1 still lives at home but works, we budget around £100 for him and £150 for DD and DS2.

I have no idea 🫣 I just buy things as I see them, if I think they'll like them. Same for their partners & DGC.

DC are 33, 30, 28 & 19 - 3 eldest have partners

DGC are 6, 4, & 2

£75 each for them plus spouses, but that doesn't include the chocolate oranges.

one of my favourite MN ideas was buying yourself your own gifts or stocking fillers and giving them your partner to give to you. DH and I have been following this for the last couple of years, it’s been great. Christmas morning both DH and I are actually opening something we want. We sometimes get extra surprises but there is no pressure to buy anything extra.

Could you do similar, say to your DCs you have x amount to spend on something you want, get them to buy and give it to you to wrap for Christmas. I know it takes the surprise out of it but I’d rather know I’m getting something I want than be given a surprise I will be donating Boxing Day.

And absolutely treat yourself to something nice!

Dd 25 and ds 23 will have a gift of around £20 and a box of nice biscuits.
Ds 17 a few gifts up to £50.
My parents give each grandchild £30.

My mum has only her state pension and attendance allowance so no chance of the huge amounts like some on here. She gives £25 or £30 to my siblings who are married and £30 to me but buys me something extra too because I'm her favourite even if she says otherwise. And she always spends Christmas with me and my dc. The grandchildren of which there are 12, get £15 and great grandchildren a token gift usually a special book or chocolate. Growing up we didn't have much money but she always made Christmas special with something extra.