Very tiny Christmas

[crochetmonkey74]

There will just be two of us for Christmas this year (not a partner)
and we have both experienced a lot of bereavement and grief over the last few years. In previous years, we have really gone all out and tried to make the best of it but this year are feeling the pull to have a very low key small Christmas.
If you do this, would you mind sharing what you do?
In previous years we have gone abroad, stayed at fancy hotels, rented a lovely beach property etc etc but it always seems to somehow highlight that we are having to do all that to escape the lonely truth of just being us two. I have previously been in an unhappy relationship in a large family so I know that more people doesn't automatically mean more happiness, but it can feel like it highlights the grief.

Any ideas or chats of solidarity?

I volunteered x

I've had a few years when my children have been collected by their father at 3 then I've spent the rest of Christmas Day alone.

Also a few years now with the youngest child (oldest one is grown up).

I used #joinin on Twitter
Carols all day on ClassicFM
Lots of telly
A large trifle and tin of chocolate
Phoned my friend at night

If it was a day when my children had been at home until 3, I spent the afternoon having a lovely tidy up! I enjoyed getting that done and putting the leftovers in the fridge or freezer then sitting down to watch the television.

I think the points that have been made about small being normal and good are well made.
I think social media and normal media make us think bigger is better but lots of people are just in twos

Formme, it is just a day but its a day when I really miss my loved ones

This is EXACTLY how I feel

I'll have Christmas with my ds this year. It will generally run as:

Two weeks before Christmas - decorations, tree, gable lights put up as a joint effort. No rush. Collecting greenery from the woods. Shopping for the last few bits. Go to a carol concert.

One week to Christmas - food prep.. Rather than huge volume I go for hand made. Make my own ham, truffles, mince pies, marzipan fruits, yule log etc.

Christmas eve, have a few neighbours over for drinks & nibbles.

Christmas day - lovely breakfast, presents, family video calls, long walk, lunch of roast duck, all the trimmings, mince pies & ginger ice cream, fizz. Then board games, cold meat and pickles for supper, Christmas film, liqueurs, new pjs, bed.

The best thing is not having to rush. Pace yourself. Enjoy each element.

I love the look of the big family get together but wonder how many people actually have them, only one person I know but that's because he has 5 kids and both him and wife are onlies so they get both sets of grandparents without anyone feeling left out. Surely it either gets huge or someone feels left out?

Anyway I think a Christmas for 2 could be lovely. Identify which bits make it Christmas for you.

We've never done the Xmas walk or church so whilst it sounds like something I might like I wouldn't miss it. For me the proper dinner is essential, it doesn't have to be everything but must include turkey, stuffing, cranberry, parsnips and sprouts plus Xmas pud. The decorated tree is also a must. Muppets Christmas carol and other crap evening TV with a tin of Roses and cheese board.

I think I'd have the radio on to avoid there being too much pressure on conversation, it's a long day.

I do know someone on his own who does nothing Christmassy but on the day volunteers to help with the church services and goes to work in a soup kitchen.

And another couple with no family who go out for curry then play computer games and drink champagne for the rest of the day.

It is just one day, and it sounds like you have a friend to share it with. That's perfect.

Sorry to hear that you have both suffered loss. My ex husband and I did a Christmas on our own the first year we were together and after many years of marriage and two kids, we still referred to it "as the best Xmas ever" because it was. We stayed in our PJs; drank cocktails and snacks all day long, and opened our presents in bed, which we didn't leave until late in the day. Then we had a lovely long walk and curled up to watch a film. It was so stress-free. Go for it, just do what brings you bliss, and if that means not going near the kitchen then so be it!