11 year old boy - £30

[FerminRomeroDeTorres]

I need to buy a gift for an 11 year old boy (yr7) which is around £30, however I know absolutely nothing about the child.

When he was younger he was quite into lego, not really sporty, not a reader. Board/card games are out because father has a pathological hatred of them so they wouldn’t get played in the family.

Absolutely no clue what he’s into now though - haven’t seen him in about 6 years and have very little contact with the family. We have asked his parents what he’s into and been ignored.

No option not to buy. I feel like he’s a little too young for a voucher (and I wouldn’t have a clue what voucher to buy), help! What is a generic gift for a boy of this age?

This is a strange situation. Sounds like you don’t see him/his family so why buy something? Of course it’s an option not to. Otherwise, I’d get a voucher. Something like Amazon.

He’s family - NOT an option not to buy. We live in another country and his parents are utterly crap at keeping in touch and have no social media between them, hence we know nothing about him. Leaving him out because his parents are twats is NOT an option.

Cards against humanity for kids? Slogan T-shirt or sweatshirt. Something a bit smart arsed 😉 Parents will give more info next time!

Amazon gift voucher covers a multitude as does frankly cold hard cash which is a bit of a novelty for many kids these days.

I have a boy the same age and he loves hoodies - eg black ones are his favourite
or Nike socks

money is a very safe option too though and it’s hard to get the right size hoodie if you don’t know him

Ok, so an Amazon voucher like I suggested. Round here kids seem to like Under Armour
or Montirex clothing so a voucher for sports shop?

Yeah I would happily buy a t-shirt or hoody or something except I wouldn’t know the size. Are there any accessories that are in at the moment with that age group? Girls are so much easier because I can always go with jewellery, cosmetics, nice stationery etc

Do you know if he's still into Lego? There's some good F1 racing car ones out there.

Do you know if he plays Roblox or fortnight?? Most kids do and vouchers go down well.

My son also loves his oodie (his one is the PlayStation brand) then you wouldn’t need to be strict on his size

Unfortunately I have no idea, and have no idea what he would already have. That’s the kind of thing I’d love to buy, but I’m reluctant to spend £30 on something he’s not interested in, or already has. We’ve messaged twice (me once and DH once) to ask for suggestions or even an idea of what he’s into and been ignored. DH has also messaged MIL to ask and she must have thought he was joking because she responded by saying that she wasn’t sharing her ideas as then we’d steal them and there would be nothing left for her to buy! FIL is about as much use as a chocolate teapot so he isn’t worth asking.

Something like a Nike sweatshirt or hoodie as suggested by a pp is the safest bets especially if you go for a safe colour like black.

My kids enjoyed spending vouchers at a younger age than 11. As kids get older, their tastes are very specific so getting them to pick an acceptable item is the safest way to do it.

Can you send something related to your country which he wouldn't be able to find in his?
A large bar of chocolate or some other treat food?
Some other item with an obvious brand name from your country - pencil case type thing?
A guide book to your country or a history book about your country so he can learn about his other relatives?
A book of phrases in your language, if he doesn't speak it?

Are there other relatives who know his part of the family better? Maybe they could help with sizes or interests?

The kids I used to see at work, a lot of the lads had those small ‘man bags’, I think they’re described as messenger bags. With the info you’ve given, I definitely think a voucher/money is the safest option.

I would say 11 is definitely old enough to enjoy spending a voucher. Maybe spend £25 on a voucher and £5 on sweets or chocolate to go with it so there's something to unwrap.
Unfortunately when our family buy presents for our (tween and teen) boys now they're often wasting their money. They are very polite and always say thank you but most of it never gets used.

That’s exactly what I want to avoid. Two siblings are sorted with actual gifts hence my reluctance to go with a voucher, but I’d rather that than buy something that will sit untouched. Might just have to buy a voucher for JD Sports or somewhere like that, and then add in some local chocolates/treats which aren’t available in England. I’d go for a cinema voucher as that would have gone down well with my DC at that age, but I don’t know if he’d be allowed to go to the cinema without parents. He’s in yr7 but don’t know how much freedom he gets to go into the closest city with just friends.

Cash and extra large bars of the dairy milk the 1kg ones wrapped. Was a big hit when my ds was that age. And also a can of silly string 😂 the parents might reply next year.

It should also be remembered that the gift has to be posted! My DC loved those 850g dairy milk bars a few years ago when we were all getting them for about £3 on Amazon but they would def be awkward to post!

wonders if silly string can be mailed with Royal Mail?

(We have had customs issues in the past with getting stuff between countries so I always have to check what is on the prohibited list!)

Would it be possible to send him a personalised card with a message in it along the lines, " I know we don't talk much but just to let you know we hope you.......... and would love you put it towards............etc ( with the equivalent of £30 in whatever currency? ) I used to do this with youngsters in my own family that we didn't have much contact with enclosing Euros/Dollars. It's the reach out and contact from you that they will remember. (My DH niece always remembered the personalised GoT Card we sent her, she posted it on her FB and we were amazed how much it meant to her)

That’s a lovely idea @kaymay12

Why can't DH just give the child's parent (DH's sibling I presume?) a call to ask what their son would like as a gift? Or are they not on speaking terms?

I would go with Lego as safest option. Some of these suggestions feel quite niche to different areas of the country so would be risky

They are on speaking terms in that there’s been no falling out, but would never phone each other. DH and I have both messaged as that’s how contact always is maintained, and received no response. DH also asked MIL for ideas and she wasn’t forthcoming either. I suspect a phonecall would result in a vague “just buy him anything” response as they really don’t seem to engage with most of DH’s family much at all. I just feel for the lad - it’s not his fault his parents are crap

I am sure in years to come they will remember that you took the time and effort to keep that contact with them. That's the best "present" of all.