Is it normal to like Christmas less as DC get older

[Sindymindy]

I’ve always enjoyed Christmas and since my DC were born I got so much joy out of all the planning, hosting, socialising etc

I spent so much time and thought arranging everything and I find that now they are teenagers that joy is somewhat gone.

I just can’t summon the same excitement and I find that quite sad. Anyone have this experience and any suggestions on how to get the joy back. I’ve one DC who is very into Christmas and will go along with any planned event and another who won’t be seen dead with me. DH will go along with it too

Just me then 😆

I think this is pretty normal isn't it? I was never bothered about Christmas before I had my DS who is now just turned 2. And I know that when he's grown up I'll definitely be going back to not being arsed about it 😂

I didn't notice any changes until I had grandchildren and then I realised that the magic had gone. We still had a good time but it was grown up fun, there are things you can't do with kids around like everyone fall asleep after lunch, with kids at least one person has to be awake,
Have a lie in, Bailey's in the Christmas coffee etc

DD is the only child in our family, we spend our Christmas with my parents and brother but now she's 15 it's all a bit pants. Since her dad had a new baby and she got older she doesn't alternate anymore and goes there for Christmas day itself as it's more fun with Christmas magic still, her sister is 3 this year so I'm sure she'll just be getting 'it'.

We didn't even decorate last year as our house is small and feels cluttered at the best of times, she isn't fussed and we were opening presents at my parents for our one.

I still buy Christmas food though, get the Christmas crockery out, stick the Christmas music on and watch my fill of terrible Hallmark films.

I suggested going away for Christmas but she doesn't want to as she's in the GCSE years and is perfectly happy with just a quiet two weeks.

I think it’s about changing your expectations and routines as they get older.
what elements do they still enjoy? What do you enjoy?
as mine have got older, we enjoy a late afternoon shopping trip just to mooch, have a look at the lights and get a hot chocolate.
we curl up and watch a Christmas film or make something Christmassy (wreath, garland, baking) wrap presents together with the Christmas music on etc
Christmas Eve/Day they now get involved with the planning and cooking.
it’s not the same as when they were little but it’s just as enjoyable in its own way.

My kids are grown up and grandson isn't old enough to understand Christmas. We were never a family who had loads of people round - just the 4 of us growing up and the same latterly.
The kids just want money or vouchers so there isn't even any enjoyment in buying presents. For Christmas dinner it's usually just me and OH and I take all the decorations down on the 27th. I really can't be bothered with it much any more.

It's different as they get older- I am so grateful to no longer have to get up at dawn and go go go with young children!
I find my joy is intrinsically linked to how much money I have available. It's hard to feel the joy when it's breaking the bank. I save every month through the year to be able to do presents, stockings, tree and lovely food. Nothing lavish , just enough to try and spark some joy for us all.

The sparkle goes as they get older, definitely. Nothing as exciting as watching a 3/4/5 year old discover that Santa has been. Their sheer delight! We still try to do Xmas events now they’re older - light trails/shows/trip to London to see the lights and tree in Trafalgar Square, ice skating etc. And we have lots of traditions, baking, decorating, local carol service etc.

It's important, I think, to understand that life ebbs and flows quite naturally - things change and what makes Christmas special won't always be the same from stage to stage. It's quite normal to feel a bit more 'meh' when they get past the childish innocence and magical stage, but what you do is just add in lots of grown-up enjoyment for yourself and also keep going with the simple, cosy aspects of Christmas with those who want to participate.

My children are well into adulthood now but Christmas is still a wonderful time of year.

I think you have to find a new normal once the traditions when they were little kids no longer work. It's always a bit sad when you leave one set of traditions behind, but find something new to do that works with teens.

I just think it’s different now with teens. I agree nothing beats the magic of having young kids around who still believe in Father Christmas. But we focus on the nice food, hanging out with extended family, the teens can usually be dragged into a board game, I still do stockings for them and love looking for little surprises they might like, we watch Christmassy films.

I find it a huge amount of work and effort and every year I enjoy it less! But that’s to do with me getting tired (and typically bearing the load) rather than the kids getting older.

I think it very much depends on your outlook on Christmas and that of other family members. I’ve always enjoyed Christmas, the DH and I love the tree and the family time. I thought it would be difficult once both my parents had passed away, but we found a new way to approach the festivities. I don’t miss all the present wrapping associated with the younger years of DC. I do feel a bit miffed by those who no longer buy presents for DC over 16/18/whatever threshold they have come up with. I appreciate that this didn’t apply to all the Godparents and that some realise that DC only one grandparent now.

I’ve had thirty years of it all being on me to organise, and zero extended family, so whilst I enjoyed making it magical when children were young I feel very “done” now, sadly. I’ll still do everything I need to, I’m Mum so of course I will, but I’d be far happier if I could just have a day of someone else making it nice for me. I haven’t had that since my parents passed away when I was in primary.

I am mid 60s and still look forward to it and enjoy it, sure it's different compared to when the kids were young but even so, I really love a sparkly house, making it cosy, it breaks the year up nicely I always think.

Present buying for kids in their 30s who buy everything they want throughout the year is another story though.. these days we're all pretty much in to buying "doing" presents, so theatre trips and experiences instead of adding more stuff in to all of our houses. All in all I like it.

Also it's quite natural for some teenagers (not all) to be very meh about it for a few years - they've other priorities or maybe they're grappling with things. Especially nowadays where growing up can be incredibly stressful. Do what you enjoy, and don't try too hard to engineer forced family fun.

They will very likely come round as they get just a little older and will start to value that time with family and the simple joys of tradition and togetherness. And if they don't, because some people find it all a bit much and really aren't into it, that's okay too.

There was a saying 'Christmas is for children'
And I certainly rediscovered my love for Christmas when having my own children. (All grown now)
And adults don't really get excited about Christmas presents - we really don't.
But Christmas is what you make it.
I always put the tree up, make yummy meals / food.
Invite folk over for Christmas dinner (who'd otherwise be on the their own)
We've got 2 meals / Christmas lunches out and we have a Christmas party / get together in the evening, one night between Christmas and new year, with at least 12 old friends.
I enjoy the Christmas films / TV and the rest from work.

Not just you. I Love christmas and loved it even more when my LO was little. It was all about father Christmas and days out and lights and decorations. Now she can't even muster up the enthusiasm to want the tree up!!!

I took over holiday hosting when I was 32. I had the little ones and the bigger house. I did have help from my parents. Now my DC are in their 20s and it’s not as enjoyable for me as I do all the mental work most of the physical work and I have been criticized for being a “seargent” and ordering everyone around. NOW I do the holiday I like. I like to decorate and I do this very intentionally at the holidays and I change it from year to year which makes it more enjoyable for me. Way fewer gifts and I’m this close to money gifts only. No adult gifts. I do believe Christmas is for children (even adult children) but I do not gift siblings or parent. I host the holiday.. 7 to 14 guests. Everyone helps now. But just one day not 4. I enjoy the day very much but I can’t sustain the energy needed to prepare clean up several days in a row and I work over the holiday. All this to say…Christmas changes. Find the parts you OP love the most and do those. And it’s a huge money suck and advertising perpetuates this. It’s all designed for us to spend money so YOU have to put the brakes on that aspect and others will adjust to this

Now our children have left home & work on Christmas Day we go to our beach hut Christmas Day morning with our dog. We celebrate with a family Christmas dinner (sometimes with friends) a few days after on my Birthday.
P.s. we have no older family now.

I have really loved Christmas in the past.
Last year felt very flat, no extended family around and two pleasant but disengaged teens.
Spending the morning cooking for four of us seemed a touch ridiculous.
This year we are going away for a few days to try something new.

I think it's normal to no longer find it as exciting even if you don't have children. The older I get, the quicker it seems to come round each year and I'm bored because it's the same thing every year. I'd be quite happy with a bi-annual celebration

I still love Christmas. Once the children were teenagers/young adults, it was a rare opportunity to have everyone together and not out with friends/doing activities/hiding in their rooms.
We found new traditions - a walk after Christmas dinner if the weather allows; a film (not usually a Christmas one) or sily games. They still love their stockings. They have input to what food/drink & activities they would like. Am interested in what others with adult children do on Christmas Day to make it special.

I agree with this. We’re many years out of the early magical stage but this Christmas will bring different excitements- for example, DS will be home after his first term at university and that is a different sort of joy.

I love Christmas and enjoy our traditions but I’m trying very hard not to let them ossify into routines that cannot be broken. I’m aware that there will be lots of changes on the way- first year one of our children brings a partner, first year they’re not here because they are with the partner’s family (or doing their own thing) etc etc- and some I will like more and some less- but I’m really keen to keep openness and flexibility in it all so that we can find what’s joyful in every outcome (sorry, that sounds slightly cringeworthy but I can’t think how better to say it).

I can relate to this. I lost my Mum when my daughter was a week old and my Dad a few years ago. Sending love.