How to ask aunts/cousins not to buy us presents.

[Moirarosesgarden]

We only see them once a year max and honestly have nothing in common beyond being related. I’d really rather they spent their money on themselves and their closer family, rather than seeing the need to buy us token gifts. How would you word this, bearing in mind it’ll need to be a text message as we never bloody see them! 🤣 I know it sounds a bit grinch like, as we can afford to buy them gifts but it just feels pointless when we don’t really know them or what they like, and vice versa.

It's not grinch like at all. A few years ago I asked friends, my late mum and siblings not to buy for me as If I want something i can get it myself and just to focus on their own families etc. The majority were relieved. They still choose to get the youngest and adult children which is fine.

Texts can be complicated but I would say something along the lines of " hey we were thinking about xmas and going forward will just be focusing on our own and not getting you and feel you dont get us anything to take the pressure off, in order to focus on your own family "

My direct approach would be " dont buy for me and I won't buy for you as I feel we are only buying gifts for the sake of it"

It‘s difficult. I would be honest and say that you think it may be time to not do adult gifts anymore.

My siblings and I each choose a charity at Christmas, and donate to that instead of buying gifts. Then in December we just tell each what our charity will be this year.

You need to suggest it in good time, of course, but everyone in our family is pleased to do this.

It depends if they will have already bought your gifts or not really 🤔 I’m almost done gift shopping so I assume other people will be too. I don’t know how you can ask though 😂

Thinking about Christmas this year, the cost of living crisis and the new budget and all the pressures life brings we were wondering how you all feel about not gift giving each other this year and instead buying one gift for a charity or a food bank donation?

This is polite and asking their opinion. It also allows people to buy and donate or not.