What does everyone spend on kids

[Flower2025]

Hey, just out of curiosity what does everyone spend on their children at Christmas and what type of things do you tend to get?

£300 on my 11yo, £500 15yo (money towards a laptop), my eldest hasn't said what he'd like yet but I expect somewhere between the two.

My dm will get me a bottle of wine. In my family, the adults prefer small gifts like this and the focus is more on the get togethers and the food.

It's varied over the years as my income has been vastly different!

Back when we had nothing really to spare.

£50 including stocking.

Teen years I could stretch to £150/200 including stocking.

He's an adult now (20) so will spend about £50 but get him a voucher for £100 to spend on stuff for his hobby. No good me buying him stuff for it as it's a model railway and I wouldn't know where to start 😂

Again, you’re talking as though her daughter is demanding these things and that it isn’t entirely @TheFormidableMrsC ’s choice to buy them, because that’s what she wants to do. There is no indication that her daughter is ‘expecting’ anything, or that she needs them to ‘feel loved’. Adults can spend their money on whatever they want, if @TheFormidableMrsC wants to spend it on gifts for her daughter, why does that upset you?

Technically the budget is £250 each (7&5) but we get sent money from grandparents as well (about £75 each) to buy them things from them, so it's more like £325 each, including stockings. That's their whole Christmas budget, so what they get from everyone put together. We don't really buy toys throughout the year, we do buy books but they get 'better' books at Christmas (like pop up, flaps, big hardbacks etc). They always get a new hoodie at Christmas and usually shoes, I'm hoping to get DD some glitter converse this year. They only get 'big' craft sets at Christmas too, it's Works and Home Bargains sets throughout the year. Also new toys.

It's different every year. Depends what we can afford and what they need/like.

This year our 17 year old needs a new laptop. That's £400-500.

Our youngest three we decided to get them a joint gift of a big garden swing set as we have moved. Our budget is around 1000 for it as we will get years of use.

We will probably spend another £500 this year on other bits for the 4 of them.

It doesn’t “upset” me - just to be clear, I don’t care what people I don’t know do with their money.

It also doesn’t surprise me that the poster wants to buy gifts for her DD.

It does surprise me though that she feels she should spend equally on both children when one is a child and one is an adult, that she saves to do so, and it also surprises me that her DD allows her to do it. £250 is loads - if she spent half that amount it would still be an extremely generous gift.

As a 26 yo I would much rather my mum had had that money for herself, or given more to my younger sibling. At 26 I was working and supporting myself and had done since I was 18. If my DM continued to treat me at Xmas as if I was 13 I would have politely asked her not to. Gifts and money do not equal love.

I dont really have a budget as such because it depends what they ask for. They only ask for one main thing, and then we get them a few other bits to go with it. I won't go into debt for Christmas though.

’Politely’ requesting that someone doesn’t spend their money on the thing that they want to spend it on, the thing that brings them happiness, isn’t all that polite though. How can you ’not allow’ someone to spend their money how they wish? Her daughter could refuse the gifts but again, that’s not very polite.
I don’t get the impression that @TheFormidableMrsC feels the need to spend the same on both children, more that she wants to.

Look, you’re happy to take massive handouts from your parent as an adult so we’re obviously very different people. I don’t think you will ever understand where I’m coming from.

I have never taken a ‘handout’ from my parent, you are very rude (and incorrect). He chooses to buy me gifts because it makes him happy. It would upset him if I refused them. He’s a lovely, kind man and I don’t want to upset him.
You obviously think it’s normal and acceptable to tell people how to spend their own money, so yes we are very different people. I would never be so presumptuous and ill mannered.

How awful they only get something twice a year and underwear as a present! That’s what your child benefit is for.

@harrietm87 whatever has happened in your childhood that has gifted you that chip on your shoulder about not accepting things a parent wants to give you; it would be beneficial if you didn't project it onto other people and their families.

2 dc, 1 at uni, 1 secondary school about £100 each.

no budget really, and it depends what they ask for. one child might get more than another but im confident it all works out in the end.

i also get them kit for hobbies as an extra, not stuff they've asked for as up upgrades so it makes my budget look big but it's money i would spend anyway iykwim. eg expensive riding boots, or hiking rucksack etc.

id guess about £200 per child theyve asked for, then £200 for "kit"

Ok you've misunderstood me. I save all year for Christmas so that I don't get into debt, can buy everybody nice gifts and we have plenty of food. It's the one time of year we have a few days to spend together for various reasons. I love buying my kids gifts. It doesn't matter how old they are. Nobody is demanding or expecting anything, it's my choice. I choose to spend equally on them. I choose to buy for my Dad and Stepmum, and that is generously reciprocated. I choose to buy for my close friends. You sound really resentful. As I said, you do you. I will continue to do Christmas in the way I want. I should add, my daughter buys for me on behalf of herself and her younger brother and is also thoughtful and generous. I feel very fortunate that she is such a lovely girl.

To add @harrietm87, as I said before, my daughter has left home. She has a very good job and works and lives in London. She supports herself. I don't have to do anything for her any longer so I get great pleasure in buying her nice things for Christmas and birthdays. You have almost suggested she's sponging off me. You couldn't be more wrong.

Switch lites are even cheaper, and perfectly acceptable if they aren't massive gamers 😊😊😊

@harrietm87 You sound completely joyless to be honest, and a bit performative in your embarrassment. Maybe let everyone keep Christmas in their own way, depending on their budgets, and you enjoy sucking the pleasure out of it for everyone in your immediate vicinity. Can I recommend a bow on it?

Around £300 per child, I would like to spend less but it honestly doesn't go anywhere near as far as it sounds. We also have very few other people buying for our children, so I do feel the need to compensate for that.

It's weird because I have seen people who say they don't spend anywhere near that but list loads of presents as what they have got. I need to find a better way of budgeting.

I've tried to do reverse budgeting this year and have for example 1 main present with a budget of £60, 2 of £30, 5 of £20 and the rest on a good stocking that we do like to put lots of cool bits in.

That's only 8 presents and a decent stocking, it's really not loads.

@SilverDoe I've found that because I try and avoid plastic tat which will invariably end up in a bin in the new year, the overall cost rapidly rises. There's always a place for the odd Home Bargains gem (I bought a game yesterday where you roll a dice to see whoever can get the Grinch's heart to grow first 😂) but if you're not buying stuff like that, it adds up.

Yes I agree with this. I don’t buy ‘fillers’ and try and avoid tat that is going to end up in landfill, so it becomes more expensive overall.

This post has prompted me to do the maths!

My children are 5 and 3. Have been buying little bits here and there so it's added up. Currently they're on around £70 each, and have one thing left to buy which I'm waiting on the black friday sale for, plus they haven't written to the ol' FC yet so likely to be a bit more there. So probably around £100 each.

DS's birthday is in early Jan so have also been picking up bits for that, probably £50/£60's worth so far. Some of these gifts will also be wrapped from grandparents/family who live abroad etc.

@SilverDoe but 8 presents seems like a good amount to me especially if they’re also going to get a stocking too. Multiply that by several kids and it’s a nice pile under the tree. ☺️ Why does it not feel enough? That’s a genuine question too, not snark. 💐

I completely agree. I'm 55 and my mum still makes up a lovely stocking for me and buys me generous gifts. I will do the same for my dd. I cant bear the completely joyless 'christmas is only for children' attitude. Usually goes hand in hand with the MN disdain of any adult wanting to celebrate their birthday. Thankfully this attitude is only something I've ever seen on MN and not in real life.

WiserOlderElf your dad sounds absolutely lovely and his gifts really thoughtful. We're all gift givers in our family too and you get such joy out of seeing someone open a carefully chosen gift that you know they'll love.

To answer your question OP I spend about £500 on dd.

It was around £500 each when they were kids. Adults now, about £300.