Christmas alone

[Redridinghood2]

I’m a 51 year old woman. I live alone. I have a partner in another country and we navigate a long distance relationship ok. I have a 24 year old son, I split from his Dad when he was 2, he has a great relationship with his Dad which I’m grateful for.
i live alone, my parents are divorced. My Dad has told me that he and my step mum are too tired to host everyone for Christmas this year.. totally fine. They would never come to me for a variety of reasons that I don’t need to go into.
I don’t really want to go to my Mums, but it déferle like the only option other than spending Christmas on my own.
Is spending Christmas alone so bad? It’s really only one day and I’m not a massive fan on Christmas anyway.
has anyone spent Christmas alone and it’s been ok?

Spending Christmas alone is fine, especially if it's not really your thing anyway. You could just have a relaxing day, do whatever you wanted. Phone call with loved ones at some point during the day

My DD is at her dad's this Xmas eve and I don't get her back until 5pm on Xmas day. I'm going to download a fabulous book for Xmas eve, order some expensive chocs and wine and will enjoy it all on my own.
If you're happy to do that then go for it. :)

I did in 2020 and it was OK. Was able to speak on Zoom with other family members. Different I know from a usual Christmas.

The one positive I take is that it is easier to have your first Christmas alone without it being because of a bereavement.

Do you want to spend Xmas alone, OP? If not, could you go to a friend’s? Christmas alone is not too bad though. Get yourself some lovely treats, choose a good film/TV, relax and enjoy the peace! 🌺

Last year I saw quite a few community Christmas lunches advertised, would this be of interest OP?

A brand new book, a couple of films lined up on TV, some yummy food, maybe some overly expensive bubble bath, I think I could be quite happy!

As you say, it’s one day. Give yourself permission to not think about anything that’s currently worrying you or do a single finger’s worth of house work.

But if you’re worried, have a look out closer to the time for a community lunch, ask friends or acquaintances, or even post on your local Facebook group! There’s always someone very happy to set an extra place at the table.

If I was spending Xmas alone I would go and volunteer for the day at a charity

I’ve spent many Christmases alone (am 55). And I love it.

Of course this sentiment is probably the opposite of most people but not mine.

Have you given any thought as to what you will do?

Will be 55 this year. Have spent many Christmas Days alone, it doesn't bother me. I sometimes make something nice and sometimes I don't bother. I do as I please. I have invitations, bug choose not to go. I usually have something nice to look forward to after Christmas- a get together etc Make Christmas dsy your ideal indulgence day.

I did it in 2020 and it was okay. It just felt like another day really. I've never really liked Christmas anyway though.

Of course it's fine - why wouldn't it be? Assuming you don't have to go to work, just have a lovely quiet day relaxing, reading, eating...... utter bliss.

Sounds bliss to me!

It can be lonely and if you're like me your mind goes to other people having idyllic lovely family Christmas days.

I had three Christmases alone when my girls were young and it was their dad's turn.

One was sort of last minute, but I helped out at the old peoples home my Nana had been in. They didn't usually try and feed everyone at the same time normally, but did on Christmas Day.

The second one I booked a hotel but it was like a little studio apartment so I had space to take some treats and keep them in the fridge. The zoo nearby opened on Christmas Day at that point (they don't now since covid). Nothing was open except the animal enclosures. The zoo itself was only open since the animal staff were in. I had a good wander. A posh picnic lunch then a lovely dinner.

The third one I stayed at home. I bought myself a really nice M&S meal. I went for a walk and read a whole book. Had a day entirely to myself and it was utter bliss.

Depending on where you live, there are Christmas Day Parkruns and hikes on if that would interest you, could be a nice way of getting exercise and being with people before bath/films/chocs etc

No, OP.
With all the sincerity, spending Christmas alone is fine.

Last year my kids were with their Dad on Christmas day.
I volunteered at a local church doing a Christmas lunch (I am not religious at all).
It was so lovely and I met and chatted with some really nice people (both fellow volunteers and those who had come for the lunch).
Would definitely recommend doing that if you want some company but on the flip side there is nothing wrong with being on your own for Christmas 💖

When my dcs were in their teens the 3 of us volunteered at centres serving Christmas Dinner to local people for whatever reason they wished to attend. Many of them knew each other and had s great day. Dinner was offered to us but we were doing ours at home. It's heart lifting.

I think Christmas with family can be really overrated unless you get on particularly well with them. If I was spending Christmas alone I would have a plan to make it a bit special, wake up and go for a walk in the woods and take a thermos of hot chocolate and a pastry with me. Come home and have a long bubble bath. Then prepare lunch at a leisurely pace while listening to music. Lunch followed by a nap, then a great movie. Etc. I wouldn't leave time to get lonely, I'd make sure I was doing a lot of things I enjoyed.

I think most other people having ‘idyllic lovely family Christmas days’ are in the bath, or tidying out the messy cupboard, or plonked on the sofa with chocolates in one hand and the remote control in the other.

There is a lot of unhappiness at Christmas when people are thrown together with relatives they don’t really get on with, mixed with alcohol, sentimentality and expectations.

If you’re alone, plan it out, eg buy the good food, buy the cleaning equipment, the bin liners, whatever you need. You can please yourself! Every year the inland revenue release the number of people submitting their tax return on Christmas Day, every year the number grows!

It doesn't matter what other people do, you need to think about what you want.

If you don't want to be alone, do you have friends you could ask? If you're perfectly ok with being on your own, it's your xmas and do what you like.

Our normal xmas is just the two of us, but several years we've had one or more friends either round to stay for a couple of days or just for an afternoon and evening because they were on their own, or because their plans collapsed.

I've done that a couple of times. I've been on holiday sometimes too. I'm quite happy on my own at home though. Last year I went out for a curry.

This is exactly what I'd do. I dated a chap once who spent every Christmas volunteering at a community dinner. This stemmed from the year when he went through a bad break up, and his ex withheld contact to his DD. Just needing to keep his mind occupied from absent DD he volunteered. He found it so fulfilling and quite emotionally overwhelming that he has done so every year since, and now when he has his DD, he takes her to volunteer with him, and she loves it too.

I've had quite a few Christmas Days alone now, and I've found that the secret to enjoying them is planning ahead. Things like collecting new books on Kindle, having a couple of films to watch, getting some favourite foods ordered, all contribute to making the day enjoyable.

You can have breakfast in bed, speak to loved ones on Zoom or FaceTime, have a glass of fizz or a cocktail with fancy nibbles for lunch, give yourself a pamper session....
just please yourself! You will be surprised at how quickly the day flies by! 🎄 🎄