Christmas "magic" - how old to believe?

[CrystalTaliefero]

My 9 year old (ten in February, and autistic) has tonight said he doesn't believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny or unicorns. However he DOES believe in the Christmas Elves (NOT on the shelf, we've never done that, but the elves have always brought new pyjamas on Christmas Eve).

I was kind of hoping he wouldn't believe in any of it so he can be more aware of how things work, but at the same time I don't want to break his heart by telling him it's all actually me!

How old were yours when they stopped believing, and how did you give them the chat ?

You could get the Christmas Elves to leave him a note from Santa saying that Santa believes in him!😂

Any chance that if he doesn't believe in the rest, He doesn't believe in the elves either and just likes new Christmas pyjamas?

I never had a “chat”.

Mine are older teens now, they will still unselfconsciously refer to Father Christmas.

Obviously they know it’s not true, and have done for a long while (probably at least by 8 or 9) but we all happily keep the pretence going anyway.

We also still pretend the cat and dog go out Christmas shopping on their own.

I know people say that they will be torn to shreds at secondary school if you don’t make absolutely sure they definitely know by explicitly telling them.
But I just don’t think that it’s necessary.

I am wondering if this is the case. He is SO difficult to read, I can usually tell when he's outright lying (about having tidied his room or whatever) but he can be very convincing about things! He does LOVE the new pjs, and they would continue even if he doesn't believe anymore (DP still gets his and he's 43) but I don't want to ruin anything! I didn't have this with my older ones, they just told me they didn't believe anymore and that was that.

My 9 year old realised the Tooth Fairy wasn't real when she was 7 because she overheard my husband and I discussing when to put the money under her pillow but kept the pretence up for fear of not getting her cash 🙄

I think my 11 year old has worked it out, but she’s quite bright and it’s transmuted into her keeping the whole thing going for her younger sister. After all, if you don’t believe, Father Christmas does not come.

Last Christmas my 8 year old had several friends in her year (3) telling her it wasn't real. She decided she wanted to keep believing but this summer she asked me to tell her the truth so I did.
Some of the parents of the kids telling my daughter Santa wasn't real thought their kids still believed and were going to great lengths to keep up the pretence. We hadn't the heart to tell those parents and clearly neither did their kids.

There's believing in Santa, the jolly red man that doesn't exist and there is believing in the 'magic' of Christmas which absolutely does and is the festive period, the family traditions and cultural events.

I never really had a talk with DD but would have done had she got to Secondary age, she was very questioning from about yr 4 but I brushed it off and she was content as if you don't believe Santa doesn't bring you a stocking, in year 6 she asked me to tell her once and for all whether it was or wasnt real, and then she became part of the Christmas magic and took on the roles for our family traditions so nothing really changed apart from not doing a stocking. If she had you get siblings I probably would have carried it on but seemed a bit silly.