Babies first Christmas

[ThatGutsyHedgehog]

Starting to be asked what our plans are for Christmas Day
DS will be 11 months old
My side of the family and DHs side will want to see him and both will offer dinner
Any suggestions on how to carve the day up in a baby friendly way? Bedtime is around 7pm currently napping twice a day but this may change
I don’t think the two sides will get together unless we host and that feels overwhelming
I do find my in laws tricky but know they will want time with him but equally don’t want it to dominate the day as I will find it stressful

Truthfully do Xmas eve with one set of grandparents and boxing day with the other and for your own sanity and the sake of all future arguments about Christmas do Christmas day just the three of you in your own home.

Totally agree, start as you mean too go on. Sh we had done this instead of running between grandmas (including mine). It wasn’t an enjoyable day.

we decided when our eldest was about 6 to stop and just please ourselves.

Totally agree with the other posters. If Grandparents wish to come to you, giving them each a "time slot" then if that works with you that's fine but in another couple of years when you have a toddler/pre-schooler who wants to stay home with their new toys you'll wish you hadn't have started the routine of going off visiting on Christmas Day.

Buy a load of extra pigs in blankets and/or mince pies and invite both sides round for drinks/coffee and nibbles in the morning*. Start as you mean to go on. Do not martyr yourselves for ever more.

*Assuming they're local

Thank you for the good ideas

Yea they’re local

My concern if we invite them to us is in laws have a tendency to overstay their welcome, sitting on their phones in silence and get irritated when it’s nap time like it’s a personal attack

Avoid this as it will set a precedent you will live to regret. I never had a Christmas at home with my children and I regret that hugely. As a result of this type of hell I hated Christmas for decades and my mental health suffered. I truly hope you can spend the day with your baby and partner. See the family on other days .

I agree with all of the above. Also as your child/children get older they won’t want to go to 2 different places on Christmas Day, they will want to be at home playing with there presents. Don’t feel you have to please everyone.x

Unless you really enjoy cooking, don't host as you'll wind up missing baby's first Christmas day stressing about dinner... either do it just the 3 of you at yours, or - if they all really want to see you on the day itself- ask your mum if you and your dh's parents can come to hers. Offer to bring dessert/ some side dishes that you can make ahead. Then spend the morning at home establishing your new Christmas traditions re stockings, breakfast, presents, playing with new toys etc

Agree with PP. Just don't do it. Set the precedent now.
It's your Christmas too.

What you do now will set the precedent for years to come. If you choose one side, the other will assume it’s their ‘turn’ the following year and will be outraged if you don’t comply. I’d see them both on Christmas Eve. Lunch at one house, dinner at the other, and have 25th and 26th to yourself.