I've done it again

[GettingStuffed]

I've bought a stocking filler for DD , but I'm not in charge of DD's stocking her DH is. I do ths every year. I bought her a Christmas candle shaped like a sheep because she's Welsh and likes candles.
.I think I'm either going to keep it for myself or give it to DSis as I'm not sure on her stance of purple sheep.

Does anyone else see something that you know someone will love and buy it even if you're not buying them presents. I'm the same with my grandchildren.

Yes. I've spent a fortune on gifts for my nieces because I know it's something I would have loved at their age. I'm known for buying the best gifts because of this.

But... For all the thought and effort I put into them, unfortunately my children just get last minute chocolate/money in a card from their aunties/uncles...

Which is fine now they're older but... I just have to learn to restrain myself and remember that I'll always spend more and be more thoughtful than my siblings, towards each others kids. The girls memories mean more to me than the injustice... But... I really do need to buy cheaper/less gifts... One day!

Side eyes all the presents bought already for Christmas in the cupboard, knowing I'll add another few more things before gifting them 🙈

Why can you not give it to your DD as a small Christmas gift? Or give it to her DH to put in her stocking? Seems strange to buy something specifically for someone and not give it to them

Yes but I just give it to them.

Not necessarily for Christmas, but I am always doing this around birthday gifta. I have issues around spending money on myself but not on other people. I end up with drawers full of gifts for other while wearing threadbare clothes, using decades old make-up etc and then receiving bollocks all for my own birthday! I love buying for others and constantly see things other people would love.

Why can’t you just give it to her as part of her gift or just give it to her before Christmas simply as a “I saw this and thought you’d find it fun,” gift?
Why aren’t you allowed to just give your daughter something you think she’d find funny?

Because DH is a stickler for everyone getting the same value presents which means I'll need to try and find something for the same value for my boys which is a little harder, not to mention their spouses.
There's an increasingly small chance that we'll be living in the same house at Christmas so I could use it as a general candle.

I already get told I spoil DD, despite me footing so e driving lessons for a couple of the men. DD who has medical reasons for not driving was taken out for the day and got a new wardrobe.

Sorry, I do t understand. You’ve bought a gift your daughter will love. Just give it to her 🤷‍♀️

Just give it to her as part of her gift or just as a small gift next time you see her . What makes something a stocking present , is it just size or value or both ?

Just give it to her? Very strange not to. She's your daughter. You can buy her a gift if you want.

Why is your husband so controlling about bloody Christmas stockings? Sounds like a fun sponge

You said that HER husband was in charge of her stocking? Now you’re saying it’s your husband.

Who is it?

This is just silly. No one will know if you spent an extra few pounds. If it's an issue, just buy your sons some socks or something. Stop being controlled by your DH. If I found a perfect little gift for my daughter and DH said I couldn't give it to her, I'd tell him to piss off.

Ah, so this isn’t a buying something fun for your daughter problem, it’s a husband problem.

Your DH is an arse. Sorry .

You've bought your DD a present . Just give it to her - next week as an ad hoc 'I saw this and thought of you' if it will upset Christmas so much because she's had one small extra gift .

I just give an "I saw this and thought of you" gift. Quite normal in my family/ circle of friends tbh.

Put it on the table over Christmas dinner and call it a table decoration. Buy a few more to go with it along with a garland of some sort. Problem solved.

If your 'children' are all old enough to live alone/have spouses etc surely there is no real issue with one receiving an extra small gift? Yes, if you were planning to buy something very expensive for one but not the others that might cause upset but not a novelty candle. Is sounds like your DH needs some help to understand this.

In your position, I think I'd just give your DD the gift at the start of December. I always think that Xmas themed items are better to us in the run up to Xmas, not after anyway.

Do you have to give it as a Christmas gift. Can you not just give it to her and say "I saw this and thought of you". My mum does that all the time although it is more for my DD now instead of me 😆Christmas Eve boxes have never been a thing in our family but my mum has started them for my DD and her cousin. It is basically a stocking in a box because she can't stop herself buying little stocking fillers throughout the year.

That's just weird all round.

Fuckinf hell, it's a sheep candle.

Your husband is controlling.

I don't see this as "problem solved". The problem is the fact that OP is forbidden from buying her own daughter a Christmas present. This is what needs solving - and the solution isn't trying to placate her husband.

Aw, that sounds like a lovely little present. Kinda want to steal that idea for my sister !

Give her the candle next time you see her as an advent candle

Does she have children? Could you give it to them to give Their Mum? If your sons have children you could do the same and get them Dad socks or some Christmas biscuits etc I've done this a few times for family members.

why dont you do stockings together?