We have a relaxed and low key Xmas, and try to centre it on people rather than things, which cuts down on the work and the expense. Christmas activities start in late November: Stir-up Sunday, refillable advent calendars, tree up mid/late December, xmas day / boxing day with family, a few days 'off' for walks, rides, books, films, games, baking, crafts, then New Year with another bit of the family, then back to work/school then tree down by 6th Jan. Yes, schools and clubs do their best to fill December with events and parties all the damned time, but the kids have so many they choose to opt out of some of them so they can continue to do their regular things, and they just attend the ones they really want to go to.
I can't hack the utter waste that comes with xmas. Reusable wrappers / gift bags were a one time expense but now are used every year and take lots of work out of gift wrapping, which I consider to be a massive win.
Expense-wise, we stick within what we are happy to spend. If a kid wants something more expensive than that, they can contribute from their pocket money and savings. We've carefully cultivated low expectations of gift giving and receiving amongst wider family and friends - had conversations with them all along the lines of how daft and overblown xmas has got, and maybe we should arrange to meet up for a notionally 'xmas' coffee / beer / wassail (different friendship groups) - less pressure, more fun, cheaper, wins all round.
We consequently don't have that much to buy and prepare and Christmas is generally enjoyable.