Santa

[Sux2buthen]

This thread is for believers or at the very least prepared to go along with it folk!
My seven year old was doing a task at school today about their favourite time and my daughter chose Christmas.
During a chat she mentioned Santa (you know where this is going) and yes a new 'friend' shut her down and said he's not real.
My daughters a complicated girl, she's only just told me and she's asked me and I've said some stuff about Christmas magic but I can see she's in doubt.
She's having a tough time at the moment and she needs to be happy.
How can I help her believe a bit longer?

In our house we believe so please if you can't resist negative replies I'm so sorry but I'll be ignoring them. Christmas Santa magic for a child doesn't last long but a little longer would be good 🎅🏼

Awww 7 is young. Same age as mini blondes

She still believes. As do I

I'm hoping get another 2/3yrs

I know by the time they go to secondary have to tell them

But yes app. Pics. Snow footprints - crunch carrots and spit out by door for reindeer etx

Honestly I know you’ve said you don’t want negative replies so maybe you only want people who have perpetuated the Santa thing to reply. But this really stood out to me as a mum and a counsellor too- you say “my daughters a complicated girl” and also “she’s having a tough time…and needs to be happy”.
But the foundations of happiness come from security and relationships. If she is coming to you concerned about something that has been said, the very last thing she needs is to be tricked or fibbed to even if it’s with the very very good intentions that you clearly have. I am not saying just tell her he’s not real, but I implore you to allow for HER to now think for herself and support those thoughts rather than making her doubt it. That inner voice and sense of self is so vital for growth and good mental health so if you make her doubt herself now with the best intentions and she later knows that you did that, she could be very hurt, confused and lose some trust in you and in herself.
There are many people here who don’t lie about Santa but sort of use a “oh well who on earth could it be then?” Type approach that doesn’t lie but sort of fudges it… or the very nice magic of Christmas explanation that is often shared in a sort of letter thing? About Santa being in us?

I just think a young girl struggling needs listened to and responded to honestly, not papered over with Santa to “make her happy”…

And as a non Santa person who has raised 4 children also non Santa I can honestly assure you we have the most magical Christmasses that never ever lose their magic as there is never a before and after… Santa story and as a character we all love, much as a Disney character… we know it’s not real but the magic is. So it lasts and each Christmas is as special… and we can do all the same special things… so don’t think the choices are Santa magic or bah humbug! Honesty might be what your daughter needs in a gentle way and I hope she is getting support at school etc too if she is struggling. It is awful when your child isn’t happy.

Absolutely brilliant
I had forgotten Saint Nick this actually is a good idea (some of it lol)

This is along the lines of what I decided myself as a child. I could see that my cousins, for example, thought all the presents under the tree came from Father Christmas whereas for us it was just the stocking. I decided that some parents for some reason told their children that all the presents were from Santa, whereas I knew the truth, which was it was just the stockings. Also I was a very early reader and paid attention to the world around me and could see, for example, that my mums Family Circle magazine had articles about “great stocking fillers”, I still managed to know that and also believe in Father Christmas.

And as a non Santa person who has raised 4 children also non Santa

Yes and that says it all. OP has been clear in her request, Santa will be visiting for some time to come. Go away with your ' imploring' - the child is 7, not 15!

Personally my belief in Father Christmas and magic and fairies was one of the loveliest and most defining elements of my childhood in general and Christmas in particular. Just to put the opposing view in there. My DS aged 14 still says stockings are his favourite part of Christmas, so there isn’t a before and after the magic, it persists.

To counter @fourelementary position, my DSS grew up with the narrative from him mum that Father Christmas is real if you want him to be as she didn't believe in lying to the kids so consequently never really believed. When we had DD8 he was a teenager and specifically asked that we make sure to make FC real for her for as long as we can, as he felt he'd missed out on the magic of father Christmas as a child. I think there's some lovely ideas here and I may steal a few as I can see needing to have a similar conversation in the run up this year. They have the whole of our lives to know magic doesn't exist I want her to believe as long as she can.

This is my worst nightmare 😂

I've had a savings pot since the Christmas I was pregnant with DS (who's currently 5) ~ the year Santa seriously comes into question will be the year we go to hunt him down personally in Lapland. This is mainly desperation to never lose the magic though! 💫

I'm so genuinely touched by posters understanding where I'm coming from even if it is daft to some. Some lovely ideas as well

Some good ideas on here, we use St Nick- as a basis for building the ‘proof’.

I say that I send money along with a list of toys, but also get some myself because she’s nosy and has found the odd few! I think it’s important that she knows the money /toys comes from us not Father Christmas.

I say that everyone believes in the same things, like God for example. That it’s a feeling and a belief and magical. We also look for proof, we leave mince pies and carrots and a glass of sherry etc. She left out her Polaroid camera once for him to take a photo 🙈🤣 but I said he’s a little busy for that. So he left a little note.
We do the elf, moving around, eating chocs, etc he doesn't make a mess though.

DD is 8.

Same here, i tell her i believe and she's usually fine after that. I also use the Santa tracking app to keep some more magic.
We did have to explain that some of the Santa's she's seen (at events etc) aren't real but they are helpers of Santa to make kids happy

We've always just said "people believe in different things" or "everyone gets to decide for themselves what they believe in."

It's unlikely to be the last time someone tells her this, so I wouldn't focus any attention on the dc in question, saying she's on the naughty list or anything.

Belief isn't an all or nothing thing. Dc can question, but then believe whole heartedly on Christmas eve, because they want to. We've never confirmed or denied Santa's existence, and, although my dc are old enough to know the truth, we all continue to play along. It's lovely. I think we'll all still be tracking Santa on norad and baking him cookies when they are adults, I hope.

I managed to get another two years out of Santa by him taking a selfie on a phone my then 8yr old had left out on Christmas eve. She wrote a note asking if he could take a selfie to prove he was real.

I googled an image of santa on my phone (NOT one of the first that came up on the search results!) And screenshot that then sort of zoomed in on his cheek/nose/beard leaving his read shit as a background. Then took a photo of that on the phone my daughter had left. And wrote a note from Santa apologising for the terrible photo, explaining that he was just not very good at taking selfies.

She loved it. I think she was testing us and was half expecting not photo. So to have a bad selfie from Santa was amazing.

That's a great idea

A bad sant selfie on my old iphone

My post is full of typos. Red shit 😂 red SUIT.

I knew what you meant

I love all of these suggestions so much, Thankyou!
And wise words about other children saying it will potentially happen again. At least I can come up with a response now that won't leave me caught on the hop like I was last night 🎅🏼🎅🏼

@fourelementary such a caring and wise post. 🙏 A beautiful alternative angle which isn't slapping down anything anyone else is saying, but is considering some of the possible psychological considerations worth mentioning. Your cautious and careful thoughts could easily be incorporated and knitted into all these other wonderful responses as all are supportive of her age stage development and emotional well being.
This thread is Mumsnet at it's best. 💐