Managing Expectations - Gift Values

[MyTwinklySloth]

Hi All,

My 7 year son has asked for a switch for Christmas - My 4 year old daughter much cheaper gifts like LOL dolls etc. How do I explain to my son if we ask Santa for a switch he will not be getting other gifts just that?

I am afraid he will wake up on Xmas day and see a small pile for his sister and just 1 present for himself and the magic of christmas is a lost.

I tried explaining previously Mommy and Daddy pays santa for the gifts ( as he was wondering why some kids get nothing for xmas, and i thought explaining parents pay would help him understand as some people have more money than others etc)

Thank you in advance

The switch is family gift from you and his dad for both of them.

They each get a smaller pile of presents with it.

I have 2, now adult sons, Each year they did a list, mainly from the Argos catalogue. If there were any bigger priced items, I would tell them if they had that then they wouldn’t get any other presents, they understood this. It’s good to talk about it now, to give them time to think about it. I didn’t stick religiously to the same amount each, as some years one would have more than the other, but overall it worked well.

You can explain the Switch is the main gift because it’s the same as buying 10 LOL dolls (or however many)

You might add

• you also expect him to share with his sister,
• next year his sister might get an expensive gift and he might not.

In my house Christmas gifts were always padded out with mundane useful stuff - my mum would save the purchases up so she could gift them. So things like Bubble bath, stationary and lunchbox or new backpack, clothes especially gloves/scarf/slippers/dressing gown, books (buy books cheap off AbeBooks, the ones labelled “very good” condition are usually almost perfect), craft supplies.

You could pickup a cheap jigsaw or board game or puzzle or toy from a charity sale I’m sure too.

I am inclined to go with this. Switch is a family purchase/gift, he can be given age appropriate games.
Also means you can control how much time he spends on it, rather than being given a gift he can't use much.
Pre owned switch from CEX or similar may keep cost down too.

I don't think this is fair - it was something he wanted for himself. I mean you wouldn't feel content with a part share in something you really wanted, for Christmas, would you?

This LOL doll is a family gift, you can only play with it when i say?

That is taking the magic out of xmas tbf

Id just explain to him that the value is significantly different - and that is all there is too it. It is a lesson to learn

And yes, you can still control how much time he spends on it, that comes with being the parent

This is why we only have stocking presents from Santa the rest is from us.

A switch isn't really an appropriate gift for a 4 year old, quite surprised that people are suggesting it.

Agree with the suggestion of padding out the pile a bit with useful, low value items.

add to his pile with things you were going to buy anyway or some very low cost items.

the total spent per child doesn’t need to be the same each year. Next year she might want the splurge gift. The key is to balance in the long run.

@OutVileJelly1 but a switch isn't just a personal gift it's whole design is for the family with family friendly interactive games.

If you do buy him the switch then you can wrap up the extras separately, games, controllers, little things to customise the controllers.

I'd still give it as a family gift, with some family based games like Carnival, and others more catered for each child's preference

hahhaha - Not it's ''whole design'' at all

Have you even ever looked at a switch?

They have a built in screen - you can play them via the screen as a hand held console. As per a hand held console, this is usable for one player

By design they can be used either way but they are more aimed at single player gaming than most other consoles on the market

Yes, DD got one for Christmas when they first came out, she's an only but if she wasn't it would be a fairy gift like board games.

They can be used as a personal device but lots of the games are designed for co playing. 7 is a bit young to be holed up with a handheld device on their own and he won't want to share

To spend £300 on one child for one gift is obscene not to mention the issue of his pile being smaller which is what a lot of 7 year olds will care about. Should DD want one in a few years are they really going to buy another one because the first is 'his' even though he may not longer play with it.

If OP wants them to have similar piles then the Switch is a joint gift, each get a game they will like and some other bits as well.

We had a clear "Santa doesn't bring electronics" rule. First, a money issue, even with only one child, things can get out of hand, and secondly, a gift from the parents can come with restrictions about the use.

Maybe think about allocating a smaller value for Santa gifts and move to larger gifts from the parents?