Christmas Presents for Friends ‘children’ over 18

[HebeJeeby]

Hi, I have stopped buying birthday and Christmas presents for the children of my friends once they turned 18. I did big 18th birthday presents but am stopping with presents now they are adults. This is the first year that I’m no longer buying for the 19 year olds. However, they have younger siblings for whom I still buy. My conundrum is this upcoming Christmas. It feels mean to buy a present for the U18 children and leave out the other ‘child’. But, i don’t want to keep buying presents going forward, has anyone else come across this issue and how did you resolve it? Thanks

I don't think I could do this truthfully
.I'd be inclined to wait until both are 18... or could you simplify the presents and give pj's and a hot chocolate pack or money in a card? Or a voucher for the cinema?

You could send a hamper to the house or give them a set of cinema tickets or something? So a family gift so you’re not differentiating?

I got stuck like this! In the end, I did a family present, a hamper with lots of sharing things.

These are great ideas, thank you. I was thinking along those lines myself so will probably go ahead and do a family hamper with maybe an extra present thrown in for the younger sibling.

If they know that when they're 18 you stop giving presents then I don't actually think there's anything wrong with giving the younger one something but not the older one.
We had same rule when I was younger and we understood it cos we could see the logic

If a family hamper gets to be too expensive, perhaps a board game for all the family. I’ve heard very good things about “herd mentality”

Token presents are a waste of money and create yet more junk.

We stopped when the youngest turned 18. But they were all within a few years.

I did think about waiting until the youngest was 18 but there are quite a few years to go before I can do that, plus it seems a bit unfair that the eldest gets years more presents than the youngest. I think token cash gifts to the eldest might be the way to go so I’m not spending on junk.

18 is a normal time to stop. Just stop. Don't give it another thought.

I think for me it would depend on whether this has been agreed for years and expected or whether it would just be sprung on the 18yrs old .

If it's a cost issue just spend a little less on the others . I wouldn't like to be 18 and have no present , you're not really financially established at that age so gifts would be appreciated.

It's up to the OP to communicate to the parents that she's stopping at 18. The parents then tell the children. So that they're expecting it.
There probably will be an element of disappointment just because hey it's always nice to get presents. But it's an ok time to stop at 18 and they'll see the logic and accept it.
We had the same when we were 18 from our aunties and uncles. Just give the ones under 18 a present.

If you start doing a family hamper, then you'll never stop and the younger one is being short changed. As said, tell the parents and they tell the young adult. Or a token to the eldest and a present for the youngest.

Family present.
or suggest Secret Santa.

Although I think it's pretty unusual to buy friends' children Christmas presents for that length of time anyway. So maybe I'd just stop :)