Family presents

[Youaremysunshine13]

Wondering what people make of this situation and if they would be mad enough to say something or just let it go.

i don’t always see eye to eye with my in laws we’ve had some words said in the past however always exchange gifts at Christmas for the kids and for ourselves.

this year we bought gifts for my BIL,SIL, and niece. As always we got BIL/SIL a voucher and niece a separate gift.

On receiving our gift our children got a gift my husband got one but I did not receive one this year. I don’t believe Christmas is about giving however I feel like this has been something done purposely to ensure I’m made to feel bad.

my approach is going to be let it go and say nothing. We haven’t been petty and we have gifted them both not excluding anyone as that isn’t our style however other people have said they would have to say something to them.

unfortunately I have spent a lot of this year feeling low due to my inlaws and I just want to wash my hands of them now. My husband is always on my side but can’t break contact with his family and I understand that and I also don’t want my children missing out on seeing there cousin or grandparents etc as their gran is really good with them it’s just unfortunate that a lot of the others in the family are very hard to be around without leaving feeling down.

I wouldn't say anything, but I wouldn't do presents for the adults anymore.

I’d just let my husband spend time with his family and enjoy a bit of peace and quiet at home.

Not giving you a gift was shitty behaviour.

Next year, let your husband be in charge of gifts for his family, and pack him off with the kids for a couple of hours for gift exchanging with them.

If adults are literally just swapping vouchers, I don't really see the point. Next year, just tell them you can't afford to buy for the adults.

Drop the role if Dh wants to sort vouchers (without any prompting) then he can.

Can your husband suggest children only gifts in future?

I would let husband and kids crack in but step back personally and tell him it's on him if he wants to see them but you won't be held accountable if he's stuck in the middle.
I wouldnt hold my words back anyore either, you say your in laws have caused you to dpr d a lot of time feeling down but don't give them that power this year if you have to be near them. Stand up for yourself, tell them to sod off as you have nothing to lose.

Say nothing, but next summer have your husband send a message stating that this Christmas you will be buying for children only.
Don’t see the point in adults exchanging vouchers/money.

I would stop giving presents to adults. Your DH can sort it out if he insists next year.

It’s more like nights away etc it’s not like vouchers for shops if that makes sense. As adults we prefer this because it prompts us to have nights away/days out that we may not be inclined to book for ourselves.

I’d be so tempted to get DH to send a message to his sibling and ask why they felt the need to exclude you when you’ve always given them joint presents.
But if you don’t want to rock the boat, agree with others - in autumn next year, say you’ll just be buying for kids this year.

I can't understand why your dh can't raise this?

BTW did you realise dw didn't get a gift? She was too polite to say anything on the day but I noticed and I minded.

What's going on.
It maybe innocent.
Op do you think if it's a deliberate snub they care about relations between you all.
Does deliberately excluding you show concern over the children or their son?
. They seem to show no care about putting all these relationships at risk and yet you are the victim and you remain passive because you don't want to risk relations.