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Christmas

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Original poster

AITA or are my in laws out of line?

41 replies

Mum8929 · 25/12/2023 11:08

Sorry if this is a bit of a rant, staying over at in laws over Christmas. They told us before coming they had gone out and done many food shops to prepare. They’ve known and planned for this week of staying over for almost a month but every meal there’s just not enough food being served. With SIL and her partner we are six adults at every meal. BIL is a big guy he’s prob around 6”2 and is very into sports so eats a lot. In laws are aware of this yet they made a roast yesterday and only served two roast potatoes each and two pieces of broccoli. BIL even started bringing over frozen chicken nuggets to have with his meals. When we all made comments that we were being put under a regime FIL replied it was good for us( he’s a GP so not sure if he meant in general or that he thinks we’re fat?)MIL is obsessed with counting calories and “portion control”. She’s always slamming others behind their back for being overweight, yet I think she is underweight and has an eating disorder.Can’t help but feel like they are putting us on a diet here. I just find it such poor manners to invite people over and then portion control during Christmas time as well. I would never want my guests to feel hungry in my house. FIL is a retired GP so maybe is trying to be healthy but still none of us are really overweight so I am absolutely without words that they would put us on a diet at Christmas. Is this normal in other families? AITA for not wanting to go over for Christmas again?

OP posts:

JanefromLondon1 · 25/12/2023 12:56

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

Wishihadanalgorithm · 25/12/2023 14:52

I wouldn’t go again and I’d let them know why. Seems like a very miserable way to live.

Are they joy-suckers in other ways as well?

Mrsjayy · 25/12/2023 14:57

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 25/12/2023 11:12

My parents are very into diet culture and meals with them are a bit ‘two carrots each’.

My mum is the stereotypical almond mum.

When I cook for them they run their eyes over the table at the remaining chicken leg, two potatoes, one stuffing hall and the spoonful of suede and say,

”Gosh, you’ve got enough here for dinner tomorrow!”

My dad also hates food wastage which comes into it.

my parents are like this when we did go for christmas it was quite minimal , they dont host anymore but ive visited today and saw tiny tiny pots of veg on the go.

vincettenoir · 25/12/2023 20:49

My ILs are like this. The worst is when they go out for lunch and then for days afterwards they say "I won't eat much, I had a big lunch on Thursday".

A week of this sounds tough. I'd go out for lunch a couple of times to get a decent feed.

CreationNat1on · 25/12/2023 20:58

They are being rude, sanctimonious twats. MIL, I bet, is food obsessed, portion control obsessed. Everyone must be taught the errors of their ways. Rude hosts to behave like that. Say nothing, but don't go again.

Kitkatcatflap · 26/12/2023 03:30

I do think it's a generational thing. The 70s and 80s my mother, aunts and her friends were permanently on diets. My late mother was frequently commented on people's weight especially mine. If she saw someone she hadn't seen for a while, the second thing out of her mouth was if that person had put on or lost weight. Having said that she never starved people.

It sounds as if your in-laws eat for fuel and not for enjoyment. Just curious, what do they say when your BIL gets out the chicken nuggets?

RowanMayfair · 26/12/2023 04:28

Why why why would you go stay anywhere with anyone for a whole week? How depressing. Don't ever do this to yourselves again.

shearwater2 · 26/12/2023 04:35

I second going and buying more food and eating what you want. I have been really good with diet for months and am kicking back a little this week, would really resent someone controlling my portions at a time when some indulgence is most definitely allowed.

There is only one good and right way to host and that is to be generous and thoughtful.

shearwater2 · 26/12/2023 04:41

I would also absolutely tell them about it. Thank them for hosting but there is really not enough food for everyone to eat. Suggest getting a takeaway tomorrow so they don't have to cook. Suggest going out for dinner, or getting some more food in.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 26/12/2023 05:04

Mil was like this in our early courting days. We got to a point we either had to stop for food on the way home or always offered to either take her and fil out to lunch or brought fish and chips and a treacle tart and ice cream or custard in for everyone. Fil stuffed himself.
She really did make one chicken breast last an entire week for two people.

Only made the mistake of staying overnight once.

Mrsjayy · 26/12/2023 09:14

Kitkatcatflap · 26/12/2023 03:30

It sounds as if your in-laws eat for fuel and not for enjoyment. Just curious, what do they say when your BIL gets out the chicken nuggets?

yeah i remember "slimming bread" and chocolate laxatives 😮then it was slim fast mum has always had disordered eating and i remember my step dad always talking about getting fat! tbh i dont think much has changed if you read some of the eating threads on mumsnet

Original poster

Mum8929 · 26/12/2023 14:43

I like this!

OP posts:

Original poster

Mum8929 · 26/12/2023 14:45

yeah I do remember my mom going through a phase like that in the 80’s but Christmas was always an exception or when they hosted guests. They don’t say much when he gets out the chicken nuggets other than “oh we just don’t really eat much” feels more like they are bragging than feeling ashamed.

OP posts:

Glitterybee · 26/12/2023 14:55

My mum is like this!

We’re at my parents this Christmas and I said that I’d buy a Chinese for everyone on Christmas Eve (this is one my families traditions, my teens love a takeaway Christmas Eve).

My mum was HORRIFIED, she said there’s no way she could eat a Christmas dinner the next day if she had a takeaway on Christmas Eve!

WTF, why are they like this?! Is it the diet culture of the 70s/80s?!

KeeeeeepDancing · 26/12/2023 17:55

They are bragging and yes it is from the diet culture of the 80s 90s.
And unless they are quite thin then there is some secret eating going on when noone is looking. Which is disordered eating. Aka an eating disorder

ChristmasEvemaddness · 26/12/2023 22:23

Interesting that one poster fronted up to there parents and said more food or we order some in.
They got more food and no one did it again.

This is what people need sometimes. It's not confrontation, it's not being rude its simply saying I can't accept this. It's up to you them how they respond.
I sincerely hope my dc are able to say, mum... No... Please this ain't going to work...

It rather see them again that put them off without knowing why

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