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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

Spending on presents

16 replies

drowningintinsel · 24/12/2023 21:48

So mother in law has openly told me she's spent lots more on one child than the other for Christmas. Both equally her grandchildren. From the sounds of things it's looking like about £100 more for the one than the other. Do I say something or am I over thinking it? The one with less probably wouldn't notice at the moment. So do I just leave it??

OP posts:

Sugarfree23 · 25/12/2023 01:21

Leave it!

I'm assuming it's a swings and roundabouts one year one child will get more, the next the other, might be what they asked for, might be ages of the children.
A bike outfit for a 8 year old could easily be double that of a toddler.

Even if it's not that senerio you saying anything will be turned against you, DH or his siblings saying will be completely different

WhycantIkeepthisbloodyplantalive · 25/12/2023 01:28

Of course leave it. No need to stir up trouble when not necessary. My mum has spent far more on one than the other but it's because one is older than the other and likes things that cost more. I don't think it is that odd myself.

Floralnomad · 25/12/2023 01:41

We’ve never spent the same on our kids as a pp said it’s swings and roundabouts . Mine are now adult and aren’t the least bit bothered by what is spent on the other .

mummyof2boys30 · 25/12/2023 05:49

My mil always favoured 1 child. We now tell her cash so cant make a difference

AvengedQuince · 25/12/2023 05:59

It's up to her and she may have good reasons. Some sourced second hand, one child younger, one needing more due to circumstances, if the children aren't seeing a difference then it doesn't matter.

Dontsparethehorses · 25/12/2023 06:00

If one is a very young child definitely leave it, if they were old enough to realise then I’d probably compensate.

PuttingDownRoots · 25/12/2023 06:03

Treating fairly isn't necessarily treating the same.

GoldenFishes · 25/12/2023 06:08

I've spent twice as much at least on DS as DD. They have different needs, they will both be equally happy and I wasn't wasn't £200 because what she wanted wasn't as expensive.
They are teens, he needed a new phone his was several years old and losing battery life. She only had a new one last birthday.

Lifeasiknowitisout · 25/12/2023 06:10

theres so much context missing.

What are the ages of the kids. If one is 10 months and one is 8, I can why. I spent more on dd for ds first Christmas. He was 8 months old.

When she told you did she mean she intends it always to be that way? Regardless of age or what the kids have asked for? I don’t do the ‘I have to spend the exact same amount on each child’, they have both had different amounts in various years. The year before dd went to uni, she got more as I got her laptop, as an example. Neither child counts it up and works it out. Both would prefer what they have asked for rather than things I have bought because I wanted to even the value up.

If they are similar ages what did they ask for?

Is one household vastly wealthier than the other? The Christmas I became a single parent and was struggling my brother asked my parents to spend more on me and my kids and get me things that would help me out. He and his wife had just inherited alot of money. He evened it up for his kids and put out names on some presents for his own kids and spoilt mine.

i didn’t know that until recently that he told mum and dad to spend more on my and my kids. I assumed they spent similar on both. But I was really touched.

Fair and equal aren’t always the same thing.

CeeJay81 · 25/12/2023 06:12

I've spent significantly more on my older child(teenager) but he has noticably less presents. His younger sister hasn't asked for a main present. I know when she's older she will want more expensive like him. So i didn't feel the need to spend the same, shes got lots of bits. It really depends what they've bought and ages of the children.

Spreadthehappiness · 25/12/2023 06:17

Growing up my parents did this occasionally. It wasn’t favouritism but sometimes a certain items might cost significantly more. The amount of presents were almost always even . As a young child I didn’t notice but as a teenager I definitely did . It didn’t bother me though. I was too excited about my gifts to worry about my sisters gifts.

AvengedQuince · 25/12/2023 06:18

I've spent much less on one nephew than the other. The younger is a baby, you can get toys for pennies for babies and they are happy to play with simple things. Children 4+ cost more than babies, teens often more again.

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 25/12/2023 06:20

Unless the children will notice, I don't think this matters. Last year we spent considerably more on DD1 than DD2, because we got DD1 a bike, and DD2 was only 6 month old so she got a couple of fun baby toys. Both were equally delighted.

Original poster

drowningintinsel · 25/12/2023 07:30

I think you're all right. I think my issue is one is always getting more than the other one. Throughout the year. But maybe the age difference is a factor? Thanks all. Just needed to give my head a wobble I think! Merry Christmas

OP posts:

AvengedQuince · 25/12/2023 08:25

Is it different families and are there financial differences between them? Or one child has more people buying for them? Throughout the year should mean the children aren't aware?

Original poster

drowningintinsel · 25/12/2023 08:34

Both my children and mil buying for them. As it turns out, sil has done the same and got the youngest some tat from Ali express that doesn't work yet the older one has a very nice gift to go with his games console!

OP posts:

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