How to make Christmas not just another day

[loverofpants]

Just that, really

Christmas this is just me and DD3, in a place we have no family or friends. It's also the desert so not "wintery"

As she's only 3, she's into presents but then what? She won't watch films etc. she also is going through a very fussy good stage so as much as I'd like a roast, there's no point as she won't eat any of it.

How can I make the day not just like any other day?

How about you both dress up - you could get her a fancy dress costume as one of her presents?

Then cook whatever you both like to eat. Pancakes for breakfast can be fun. To be honest I would still cook a simple roast for myself, and maybe DC will enjoy the experience even if she won't eat everything you make.

Play Christmas music, enjoy a drink that you like, play games, decorate the place. Maybe a phone call/ video call with family or friends?

Really, Christmas is just another day, but you can do things you enjoy to make it special, so think about what you both enjoy.

Hi OP, when you say you're in the desert, I'm wondering if you're in the same part of the world or even city I'm in? I've spent a lot of time in this region and it can be challenging to make the day feel special as,not only does the weather feel 'wrong' if you've grown up in the northern hemisphere, but for much of the population, it is exactly that - just another day! Happy to make recommendations for festive activities if you want to say where you are.

We've also had more fun than expected in the past putting on karaoke carols/Christmas songs on the TV and having a sing along, watching a Christmas service/the Queen's/King's speech on you tube that have become our traditions now. Your DD is young for these but if you build them into your day regardless they'll become your traditions by the time she's old enough.

We mix Christmassy 'mocktails' which, even for little ones can be fun to come up with different coloured combos, and do a 'tasting'.

We always have a cheese fondue on Christmas Eve - it's a bit mad in the warm but it feels festive, and can be as fancy or simple as you like and kids love the whole 'dipping' element. You could do a roast dinner one with everything cubed into bite sized pieces to dip in a pot of gravy if you think the novelty would appeal to your daughter to try some, and you'd get your Xmas dinner (deconstructed!).

And you can always treat the desert like snow - pop your Christmas hats/clothes/accessories on and go make sand angels, take a bottle of water so you can build a mini 'sand man' etc.

I would spread the day out a bit.

Start with a special Christmas Eve present of new pyjamas and a chocolate delivered by the reindeer on their way to the North Pole. Watch the Santa Tracker and maybe a Christmas episode of a favourite cartoon.

Hang out stocking, put out carrot, milk and mince pie then off to bed

In the morning open stockings and explore items

Have a favourite breakfast on special plates and bowls. Decorate table with a nice tablecloth, napkins, etc. you could make place settings and menu cards together

Open the presents from under the tree and explore new toys

Have a favourite lunch on special plates

Play a game, watch a Christmas episode of a favourite cartoon, eat chocolate

Have a favourite tea on special plates etc. discover that Father Christmas left another present on the chair

Play another game, watch another favourite programme. Maybe a short film with popcorn, etc before bed

It's just me and ds.

-I decorate his room while he's asleep so he wakes up to Christmas
-special breakfast - ds likes pain au chocolat & fresh pineapple.
-presents
-a long walk with some friends
-special lunch
-board games
-christmas film
-phone calls and chats with assorted relatives

Set the table properly. Get dressed in best clothes. Make it a bit formal, talking to her all the time. Food in nice serving dishes.

Don’t stress if she doesn’t eat much. It’s more important to be doing it and sharing it.

I would also take in Mass in the morning but that’s just me. I do find joy in a crowd of people all there for a shared purpose.

Do you have any friends in similar circumstances where you could all spend the day or part of the day together? Or any expat activities nearby?

If not, could you decorate your living area with fairy lights after your DC has gone to bed on Christmas Eve so she wakes up to a magical looking room perhaps. Go big on the whole Santa experience with tracking him the night before, a footstep left on the carpet and crumbs from his snack left behind? A lovely lunch/dinner for you - whatever you most like to eat but wouldn’t ordinarily and maybe a glass of very nice wine after your Dc has been tucked up again for the night on Christmas Day and stream something on TV you really want to watch.

During the day, there will be lots of new toys to play with so it will be different and special for your DC. When ours were that age we used to spread opening of presents across the day. So they got a stocking with small gifts in the morning. Then they had an annual or a selection box around 11.00am, a couple of family presents just after lunch, a few more before tea and anything left after tea. That kept the excitement for them going across the day and meant they enjoyed and played with most of their new stuff at least a little on the day rather than just being overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff.

If your DD is a girlie girl, maybe as someone has said a fancy dress outfit to wear or even just a pretty new dress and you could perhaps allow her to wear a little lip gloss or a dusting of face powder to make her feel grown up for the day?

Where are you (roughly?)
Where we were, 25th was a normal working day. We did Christmas on the nearest day that DH wasn't working, and did something totally different on the 25th.
My favourite photo memories that pop up on the 25th are the ones we went to a Mall with a "theme park" on the roof. I've got photos of the kids on rollercosters, playing on arcades, jumping on massive trampolines etc.
Make your own day. It doesn't need to be Christmas as you think it should be.

Things we've done on Xmas day: swimming; amusement park; nature trail; scavenger hunt.

You could do arts and crafts, play hide and seek, do a small pass the parcel/musical statues/other party games (guess who'll win every time!). Make your own traditions.

I think there's often some sadness in our hearts if Christmas doesn't look like the ones in adverts or the ones of our childhood. In reality, it is another day, and if you're the only adult around it can feel a bit flat.

What does a special day look like to your DD? Mine is 3, and this is the first year she's got in to the idea of Santa. She will be excited to wear Christmas PJs, open her stocking and eat pancakes for breakfast with Christmas themed sprinkles and a glass of orange juice and lemonade "Buck's Fizz" in a real glass. She will be excited to wear a Santa hat and call relatives on FaceTime to show her presents and say ho ho ho merry Christmas! Then she will play with her toys and watch TV just like any other day. Mine loves roasts but if she didn't I'd cook something else she liked that felt special because the table would be laid nicely with crackers etc.

We are the bringers of magic, whatever that means to you. It can be just a couple of small touches to the day or it can be a real effort to add Christmas bits to each part of the day! Don't put too much pressure on yourself and try to do things that the two of you actually enjoy.

Have you asked your DD what she would do if she could choose?

Thank you so much for these lovely suggestions. We are in Dubai, so everywhere is very decorated for Christmas and we have been lucky that I've taken her to a panto and we are going to a carol service at the weekend too. I suppose it was just actual Christmas Day and trying to pinpoint what makes it "Christmas"

I like the idea of dressing up and also letting her choose the different activities for the day.

It gets dark early there so if its manageable I would suggest a campfire as the sun sets in the desert with some fairylights and christmas carols and maybe toasting marshmallows. You can't get MORE christmassy than sitting round a campfire in the desert looking at stars. Of course that might not be achievable for you given her age/where you are based getting out into the actual desert might be more trouble than its worth but I still recommend even a campfire in the garden if you have one. The weather's lovely at that time of year so you can spend the day playing in the pool if you have one nearby and sit out in the evening no problem. I have been in a sort of similar sitation trying to have a fun day with just me and one little child and it still felt magical. It would actually have been an advantage to be somewhere the weather was amenable (and again really close to actual "christmas" weather)

TL/DR: it can still feel really christmassy just think three wise men rather than christmas carol

Also as others have said the small things are what they remember - so having the table decorated beautifully for breakfast. Having a load of party streamers leading to the presents etc. Father Christmas had a nasty habit of bringing my child presents he knew I didn't approve of which always made it more magical/special.

Marshmallows obviously cut into small child safe size pieces before eating and a small contained campfire

7 years in the Middle East and know exactly what you mean - we either went on holiday, or if we did spend it in the ME , we went out on Xmas eve to the cinema and then Xmas day was either spent with friends or at a hotel for lunch. Back home for chocolates and only folks and horses on the tv and video chats and calls to family. When the kids were smaller we went to panto , made Xmas decorations and cookies and watched Xmas movies. We turned the air con on full and had blankets so we felt cosy.
Now in SE Asia where weather is still hot but we are used to it now - we will go out for lunch and then come back home for drinks and more food. Kids are older so don't need to make it as magical now

Lots of people are out for Christmas walks and will be happy to wish you Merry Christmas 🩷