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Christmas

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Original poster

I need to get out of dinner

26 replies

Oppositioblue · 18/12/2023 07:05

Our work Christmas dinner is on Wednesday evening. I don’t want to go. It was supposed to be last Friday or the Friday before. I was prepared and busy anyway so I was able to say no. All of a sudden changed to Wednesday and it’s at the local Frankie and Benny’s. It’s a small team of just 8 and everyone will be driving. I said yes because I was caught out and I don’t feel I can just say I don’t want to go as it wouldn’t go down well. Any suggestions? I know I should have said no straight away. I wish I had!

OP posts:
judgedreadful · 18/12/2023 07:07

Do you have kids? If so one of them is ill and you can't go?

MushMonster · 18/12/2023 07:08

What about keeping to your word and going?

Moredarkchocolateplease · 18/12/2023 07:09

I'd suck it up for a small team.
But understand why you wouldn't want to go, the food is appalling!

Original poster
Oppositioblue · 18/12/2023 07:13

judgedreadful · 18/12/2023 07:07

Do you have kids? If so one of them is ill and you can't go?

I do. I am hesitant to say one is ill, just in case I tempt fate!

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 18/12/2023 07:15

Can I ask why you don’t want to go? I know it’s not the question but if you can afford to and don’t hate the team it might turn out to be nice, especially if everyone’s driving so no pressure to get bladdered.

LubaLuca · 18/12/2023 07:15

Just go. Everyone's driving so it's going to be a short and relatively civilised meal with colleagues, definitely not something worth lying to get out of.

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 18/12/2023 07:17

Just go.

Soccermumamir · 18/12/2023 07:18

Just go for the food and leave early if needs be. Its only 2 hours of your life.

LittleDonkeyOnTheDustyRoad · 18/12/2023 07:20

You don’t want to go, just say you can’t make it but hope they have a great time. You don’t need to explain. If you do say your child is ill, it won’t come true just because you’ve said it.

BendingSpoons · 18/12/2023 07:20

I'd probably just go, but if you don't want to to then either say you don't have the money this close to Christmas or just make a vague 'everything is hectic, loads to do, I'm going to have to pass sorry'

FrenchandSaunders · 18/12/2023 07:20

Sounds like a shit Christmas do, I wouldn’t go either.

banjocat · 18/12/2023 07:43

It's pretty easy to make a 'something has come up' type excuse, but I'd probably just go.

Bumblebeesince19 · 18/12/2023 08:13

"I'm really sorry, I have double booked myself! This time of year is so busy and I just forgot I already had plans with my family and I don't want to let them down at christmas"
"I'm really.sorry, I'm just not up to going out this evening- I have still got so much to sort before the big day and I couldnreallymuse that evening to catch myself up"
Or just a really simple : "so sorry, I won't be able to make it on weds, was looking forward to it. But I hope you all have a lovely time"

Or you could go, you may find that it is just what you needed at this busy time of.year :)

Good luck

feathermucker · 18/12/2023 08:30

Why don't you want to go? Is it a social anxiety thing, in which case I can understand that as I get anxious about social events (but then generally end up having a good time). Or do you not get on with some of them?

You might end up having a good time and it's only a few hours.

StiffyByngsDogBartholomew · 18/12/2023 08:38

Elderly parents emergency ?
poorly children ?
not feeling well

everyone on my team knows I don't do work social engagements. I've never been to a leaving do or Christmas drinks, I think they'd faint with astonishment

Theraffarian · 18/12/2023 08:42

In most work places you know who is going to say no from the beginning and who is going to say yes but then make an excuse and drop out anyway . It’s far easier on the organiser to say no in the beginning or just be upfront and say you don’t fancy the food etc . No need to make up an excuse , unless it’s because you can’t stand the people and you need to sugar coat it . Let them know asap , as it’s frustrating to have to pay a deposit or in some cases for a whole meal which has happened to us before when someone drops out last minute .

Fraaahnces · 18/12/2023 09:06

Use MIL to tempt fate instead.

bananablues · 18/12/2023 09:11

So I suspect it got changed to Wednesday as everyone was busy on the last Friday. On the plus side it could be a quick trip to Frankie and Benny's and over in a hour, maybe two if everyone is driving.

Otherwise you need to take the kids somewhere etc.

Geneticsbunny · 18/12/2023 09:39

Noone wants to go to Christmas work party's. Just go and leave as soon as you can. They are good for general moral at work.

PumpkinPie2016 · 18/12/2023 21:17

I'd just politely decline. Or say you have something else on.

I didn't go to ours on Fri, though I said no from the outset and the team is larger. Thankfully we had to reply via Microsoft forms so I just clicked no.

No one questioned it, I didn't mention it and managed to tactfully avoid conversations about it.

molly1995 · 18/12/2023 21:55

Fraaahnces · 18/12/2023 09:06

Use MIL to tempt fate instead.

😂😂

OracleofAragorn · 18/12/2023 21:58

@Oppositioblue

your on assignment for the security services and are needed for a cobra meeting, due to weather patterns and weather control methods

cleowasmycat · 18/12/2023 22:18

Last time I went to F&B it was so so awful the manager said we didn't need to pay and looked very embarrassed. NOTHING would make me eat there again!

Hayzl · 18/12/2023 23:03

Agree with saying you've double booked yourself and you didn't think to check as Wednesdays are usually clear but at Christmas all days are busy...

Kids school concert / disco / gathering
No one to babysit (usual person busy with their Christmas stuff)
Kids promised a cinema eve/ trip
Parents visiting
Visiting family

Daffyyellow · 18/12/2023 23:05

Can you use the rearranged date as an excuse - double booked, childcare issues, school event clash?