I am in a puzzle and I thought I will ask your opinions before I express myself to my husband to see me as a calculating b*
My brother in law was always very attentive to our first child, bringing or sending (if abroad at the time) everyone presents for christmas etc.
Since he moved to Portugal we might get a rushed phonecall on daughters birthday.
Christmas 2021 he came to UK and brought presents for all of us and from his new Ukrainian girlfriend. I was surprised and completely unprepared to send anything back with him for her as I have never seen a girl.
Last years Christmas we spend with my family in Poland but we organised UK Christmas for my husbands family early december when everyone was in the country. As we knew about this gathering for months - I have prepared Christmas gifts for everyone (in laws and brother in law and his fiance). We or children didn't get anything. (it was a proper christmas dinner with crackers and all shebang while breastfeeding on the clock my 3 month old new baby).
This summer my brother in law was turning 40 so we bought him tickets to see his favourite band. His now wife has asked us what would my daughter wish for her birthday present (as it was week after our return to UK) but she didn't even get a phonecall. I brought a suitcase of baby clothes, accessories as it is exactly 1 year difference between our boys (she was pregnant at the time). She is a nail technician and on our arrival to Portugal my gels started to chip - I asked her if she could fix those for me. I could see she had zero interest in doing this for me so she never did. I organised her sisters accommodation In Poland while she was fleeing Ukraine with her child - never heard single thank you.
This year brother in law, wife and their 3 month old baby come to UK for Christmas and stay with in laws. There will be one day overlaping where we will all meet for dinner on 28th before they departure back to Portugal. I have bought presents for their little boy as we have not meet him yet but approached my husband and mentioned I don't have anything for adults as it seems that presents it's not something they any longer do. He disagreed and asked to get them something small.
I don't want to leave my husband in charge of that as he will probably spend 50quid each. He is terrible at doing anything on a small scale.
I feel like there is so many things builded up for me to feel this big resentment to spend any more money and probably not get anything back? Am I unreasonable?