Advice on organising a family Christmas

[Flakjacketon]

DD1 is desperate to have a 'family' Christmas with DH and me; DD2 and family. We all have homes big enough to accommodate so it should be straightforward but not so.

DD1 has a 6 year old and buys her dozens (literally) of presents. They are not all super expensive, some are 2nd hand, but at the end of the day LO has a LOT of presents to open. Sometimes the 2nd hand ones appear more expensive than they are e.g. last year DD1 bought some Barbie accessories, in very good condition, on Vinted for £10, but her DD only understands that she got a Barbie car, a horse plus lots of horsey gear; a couple of dolls and lots of clothes; and that was just 3 of her dozens of presents.

DD2 buys 1 main present for her 3 year old, plus a stocking with chocolate coins, a book, crayons etc. This is how we managed Christmas when DDs were young.

How do you navigate Christmas morning where one child has a stocking and a present and the other a sack overflowing with gifts?

I don't think you can at that age tbh. Could you not all just meet in your house after the present opening?

Talk to your DD1 about it, and how iniquitous it is going to seem. Ask her to choose a smaller number of presents to open on Christmas day - the child can always have the remaining presents afterwards, when they go home, surely?

... if DD1 is so keen to have a family Christmas, surely she will understand that she needs to be more aware of what she's doing and how it might affect the children?

Speak to DD1 and ask how she thinks it should be done.

Would they all be coming on Christmas Eve and staying over with you, or arriving on Christmas Day itself?

I agree to let the DDs open Santa presents at their own houses and get together for family/grandparents presents and dinner afterwards.

You don't, it's for your DDs to manage between them.

My Christmases were much more like what your DD is doing and what we do with ours. SiL and DB get their children more. I don't think mine take that much notice of what their cousins get.

It's only a big deal if you choose to draw attention to it.

I’d open presents separately or tell DD1 to keep presents back for another time because it sounds like it will be very noticeable (I mean a three year old will rip through a stocking in minutes leaving a very awkward wait for the six year old to unwrap a sack full).

Everyone opens their presents at their own houses then arrives at the chosen house for Christmas lunch, people can then stay overnight and into Boxing Day if they wish....

Sorry for the delay in coming back , I couldn't find my post!

Apologies for not being clear in my OP , due to the distances involved we would all have to stay in one of our houses, so opening presents separately then getting together is not an option; if it was there wouldn't be a problem. In fact DD1 really wants a family Christmas with us all together for a number of days. It is a lovely sentiment, but fraught.

Since posting I have had a chat with DD1 and explained the problem. She thinks she can cut back a bit, but her DD now expects a sack full. I have asked her to think about it, but suggested that us all being together can't happen until her DD no longer 'believes' and can understand that she may not get all of her presents on Christmas Day and some will have to be opened when it is just them.

Thank you to all who took time to offer advice.

Do it at your house, prep the grandkids that Santa is going to bring one present to your house for them to open and deliver the rest to their own houses to save space in the car. Or something like that.