Is anyone else struggling a bit for teenagers?

[Nonplusultra]

I used to be so good at Christmas! When the dc were small there was lots of magic, and anticipation, lovely activities and they always asked for surprises in their stockings because my gifts always hit the mark.

And now they’re teenagers and I’ve lost my special touch. It’s impossible to predict which of our traditions are keepers and which to let slide. Gifts are more expensive so there’s less in the budget to add little surprises and I’m just not able to find any little wow gifts.

DS will be happy enough on Christmas morning I think, because he’s chosen wisely. But I feel quite disconnected - there was a time I would have known exactly what to buy for him, but I’m just not getting it anymore. We took a wander through the Lego store recently and he was chatting and commenting on various sets with strong opinions about what he liked and what he didn’t. I can’t grasp the pattern at all. Clueless.

Meanwhile dd is in a phase where she doesn’t seem to have any strong interests or desires. She plays lots of sports, mostly through school so there’s no kit needed. She’s reading series that ds already read so there’s no new books to buy. She’s quite attached to her ‘stuff’ and has more than enough squishmallows, lava lamps, blankets and oodies. I’ve got her a few nice bits and pieces but nothing wow.

I’m not looking for specific ideas - I’ve trawled lots of those threads already - just curious if anyone else is in a similar phase?

Yeah it's tricky. There's a lot of gift vouchers this year. :(

Not in that phase as there is always something they want

Same here
DS16 has requested something very specific but it blows the budget so he won't have much to open at all
DS15 want aftershave, a posh one (his words) which seems insubstantial as a Xmas present. But it's what he wants

christmas does change.

They still want the traditions, baking Christmas Eve, panto, crackers and good food but now includes alcohol.

They want to see friends and buy friends gifts.

I also think planning Christmas with teens naturally gets easier and less busy!

Chill, no more creeping about Christmas Eve!

It's tricky. My son has just asked for a bank transfer. That's fine by us but it does mean very little to open. He's happy with that.

@Scarletttulips Yes! I will definitely be appreciating not sneaking about on Christmas eve or waiting hours for them to go to sleep.

Yep same here. Our eldest DS is 17. His main gift this year is gig tickets and money. They go from big boxed toys which looks exciting, to small envelopes which cost more lol 😆

Our other DS2 is 10. He's not interested in toys anymore, but does collect pop heads and plays football. Even at his age its really difficult. He will be 11 in January as well, so back to having to think of things for him again straight after Xmas 🤦‍♀️

Love this! It does make it a bit less stressful.

Definitely. DS1 has been a nightmare to buy for since the age of 10 and it just gets worse. He insists he doesn't want anything and hates receiving stuff he knows he won't use so I have to respect that. Food/vouchers for food for when he's out with friends, money and experiences are what I mainly get now.

As for traditions, I ask them and make it very clear it's a genuine question and I won't be upset if they say no. Actually, most things they still want to do but if/when they don't, that's ok. Last year ds1 said he no longer wanted the 'elf bag', which is brought on Xmas Eve while we're out for a walk and has pjs, new bedding etc. However, he did graciously say he would still have a stocking! Ds2 (14) still wants it all!