Alone

[MiaMae24]

I’ve been with my partner for 8 years. For many months we knew what we were doing for Christmas. We were going to spend it just the two of us. My family parents and my sibling and her family are going abroad this year . My three adult children have already made their plans . However just the other day my partner now informs me he going to his mothers as she’s just recently split from her partner . His sister , Bil and their two children , and his aunt were all going to his mothers which was already arranged prior to the break up . So now I’m going to be alone , as me and his sister don’t get along. He don’t even seem bothered that I’m alone as he’s worried about his mum . I’ve told him how I feel and I do feel upset by this , he accused me of trying to now ruin his Christmas.I’m always bottom pickings with him even his sisters needs are always before mine . I’ve told him this is not a relationship with have , but he won’t let me go .

That doesn’t sound good, sorry he’s been so inconsiderate. He doesn’t sound like a real partner. What do you mean that he won’t let you go?

now I’m going to be alone
Can your join the holiday with your family?
If not, spend a happy Christmas at home planning your life without him.

Well, he's not a partner is he? I would be making plans from now on.

You don’t need his permission to leave the relationship.

You’re not a priority to him & Christmas is a symptom of a bigger issue. Please put yourself first.

That sounds incredibly hurtful, @MiaMae24 Im afraid I don't have any advice, but just to say, maybe see the positive side -no family arguments, no fighting over the remote control over the holidays, peace and quiet and you don't have to get forced into eating turkey if you don't like it.

can you plan for a luxurious Christmas, pleasing yourself. Do you have any solo friends you could meet up with. It's only 1 day, so try to survive it. Your partner doesn't sound like he has your back, does he.

This is one of those times when I feel I would want to take my mind off my problems and go out to muck in with the people who volunteer to deliver Christmas for homeless people. Go wild, peel a ton of spuds and carrots in a team of strangers, and dish up turkey to people who have nothing. Then go home, run a luxe bath, and watch whatever you want without having to debate preferences.

Could you join one of your children?
I’d be thoroughly pissed off, his mum
has people to spend Christmas with and you don’t.

He won’t let you go? He doesn’t have a choice unless he wants locking up. Why do you think he has a say in whether or not you end the relationship? That’s really worrying OP. I think it would probably do you the world of good to do the Freedom Programme.

Re Christmas, he’s showing you that you come way down his list of priorities and he doesn’t care about you the way a partner should care.

He doesn't get to decide if you chose to end the relationship op, tell him it's over and that's it.
Do you live together?

In what way is he controlling how and when you can leave, op? Is he violent?

Could you talk to your children and let them know your change in situation? I know I couldn't let my mum spend Christmas alone, maybe they will be able to include you in their plans.

he won't let me go

^ what do you mean by this OP? Do you want to leave him? He's not your keeper, he doesn't own you. Does he make you happy at all? If not leave. Life is far too short to be in a miserable relationship.

He’s not a ‘partner’ - someone who is a partner wouldn’t make decisions like this without at least full consideration and discussion with you.

He doesn’t need to ‘let you go’ - you aren’t a possession, you can (and should) walk away from him at any time. Do you live together?

Do you mean he won't let you go for christmas, or he won't let you go in terms of leaving the relationship. if it's the second obviously you don't need his permission to leave just tell him to fuck off and stop wasting your time. End of

If you mean he won't let you go to christmas at his mum's, then obviously also leave him, as he does not give a shit about you.

she's not going to be alone, she's got all the rest of her family around her.

No she hasn’t. She says in her post that her parents and siblings are going abroad and her adult children have made their own plans.