What’s downs MN have a against a pile/sack of presents?

[Whodhaveem]

This isn’t necessarily about how much everyone spends on their children, I think we all realise that everyone has different budgets but what does MN have against a present piles/sack

Traditionally Santa/Father Christmas is always shown with a sack or presents for the children, sometimes he empties the contents under the free, or leaves just as it is with the the different shapes of gifts being seen through the material and the crinkly mismatched wrapping paper popping out of the top…

As a parent what’s in the sack has varied through the years depending on what our budget was, there have been years when it’s content hasn’t exceeded £35 and others when when we have been able to spend much more regardless for our children the contents aren’t the most important bit, the apprehension and magic of Santa’s full sack which has came from the North Pole and is full of surprise’s is.

It just seems to me that people like to pick apart this tradition like it’s nonsense and showy but really it’s sticking to the narrative of every movie, Christmas card or image that we know of the magical man in red…

Im interested in everyone’s take of this, is have a pile/sack/bundle of presents really that bizarre?

No. My grandparents got an apple and an orange and a piece of coal - or so they told me.

I believe the coal was specially polished.

Because it's working class.

@LeRougeEtLeNoir still going to have to disagree. Take the photo posted upthread of the ton of presents, I think the majority would agree that’s a lot…

I don’t actually care that much if others do want massive piles though. I simply said it’s not something I do & that it doesn’t mean Christmas is any less magical.

Does nobody else know that Santa’s sack is magic and no matter how many presents he takes out, there are always more left for another child?

Father Christmas brings all the presents in my house. Stocking, ‘main present’, the lot. I don’t care that he is getting the credit instead of me, I’m not doing it for thanks. The “how does he know??!” When they unwrap exactly what they wanted is more than enough.

We bought our children a lot as well and no brattish or spoiled behaviour here either.

If others judged me because we chose to buy a lot of gifts or larger gifts that wasn’t my problem. Some MN users would have a panic attack at some of the things we bought/still buy which is why I never post about it on these boards.

Everyone does Christmas differently and it’s not always to post on social media.

If all of the toys in Father Christmas’ sack was for only one child, he probably would have to make a pit stop at B and M to stock up!

I adore Christmas but no one needs so many presents. It’s about so much more than that.

Having said that we don’t have the massive piles. A stocking with maybe £25 worth of bits, a main present (eg. The bike, the big dollhouse or whatever) and 6-8 other things that don’t fit in the stocking.

We always had a pillowcase instead of a stocking. Father Christmas brought all the presents, not just the ones from him. So he delivered presents from absent grandparents too. He's like a jolly DHL delivery guy.

🤣 Brilliant 👏

We always bought our kids lots They absolutely loved their toys, I quite miss of days of Transformers, Power Rangers, every Toy Story toy and My Little Pony you could buy, dogs that woofed and jumped, castles and houses. Christmas morning was like a toy shop in our house. Piles and piles. 🤣

Kids are going on 21 and 16 now and have never been bratty, they’re really easy kids and lovely people.

Many of the toys got passed on to younger cousins and friends children or the charity shop. Some is still on display and some is in the loft as the kids didn’t want to let it go, they often have a look at it for nostalgia. 🤣

We still buy them quite a lot now they’re older but obviously different things now and we give them cash as they like to save.

We have always done lots of other things as a family and with friends at Christmas so it was never just about presents. We just do what suits us and don’t worry about what others think.

I always thought that Santa’s sack was for all kids and you received one gift. The rest were from family. However, I now put my kids presents in a medium sized hessian sack for logistical reasons as it’s easier to bring 4 kid’s presents in from the garage late at night. They get a pile of presents in it plus a stocking, none of its tat as I don’t do tat but stuff they want and will use or play with. I don’t put any of it on social media but know a few that post their presents set up in the lounge on Christmas Eve. I had piles of presents as a kid, was never bratty or spoilt and neither are my kids.

I think there’s an element of snobbery to it. It’s not unusual for people who grew up in poverty to want to spoil their dc a bit. When you can afford everything you want and need, gifts aren’t special and abundance is mundane. At the furthest end of the spectrum you have the royal family exchanging token gag gifts.

It’s all about having someone to look down upon so you can feel how dizzying high up the pecking order you are.

First reply nails it.

The adults have piles of presents in our house. Even with only five people giving each other presents and a couple of parcels from absent friends, it just happens. Difficult to avoid.

I came on to look at different perspectives on buying gifts and this thread is so interesting! Firstly, Santa has a sack containing a present for each girl and boy - in every film and every book. The biggest extravagance I've seen is in Shirley Hughes - where Father Christmas buys a scooter, which is under the tree. Also, without sounding like a w....lots of modern Christmas films or Disney and such like are products of capitalism - designed to sell more stuff (Disney shop, product lines, theme parks etc etc).

From two different perspectives, I grew up in the 80s with a high-earning family and got a stocking and a huge sack of presents. My parents would tell me to hurry through them because there was so many. In my mind, of course it was 'magical' as you say. I've so far done the same for my two children - although they are still young.

HOWEVER, last year, my husband, who grew up with his amazing single mum, would have a stocking and a small pile - 2 or 3, especially less if it was special and expensive (bike etc). He thinks my xmas traditions are ludicrous and I've been feeling embarrassed. Not his fault, he's been very kind but it's been stressful sourcing so many gifts (and the finances!) that he's questioning where this expectation came from. I've woken up to the fact that a huge sack of presents from Santa for 'being good' is problematic in a lot of ways. I will always be grateful and love my parents dearly, but this year, feeling how I am and seeing so many posts about people struggling, I'm trying to change it up a little. My friend who works for a charity for homeless children was in tears when she saw the gifts coming in from strangers. Meanwhile, other children (through OUR own fault - including myself, I'm not jumping on the moral high horse here!) have our children thinking that Santa brings a Playstation 5, an X box with 5 games, a bike, a barbie dreamhouse, a £120 lego set etc etc AND a pile of other gifts - pumping up sacks of cheap 'fillers' to make it look bigger. Is this REALLY the magi of Christmas? I think the fact that Christmas comes from an image you saw in the Daily Mail may say a lot. Again - NO judgment...well, actually a lot of judgement, that I'm laying at my own feet too. ANYWAY, may your sacks be as full as you want them and your wine glass even fuller :)

@Lavinia56
You've misread Wanttobeok's post.

@Whodhaveem

The answer to your OP question is that there are a lot of people on MN who have dedicated their lives to virtue signaling, which is actually thinly disguised class signaling.

There's a hodge podge of concern for the environment and concern for manners and anti-materialism (which is weirdly manifested as a desire to see children truly appreciate the things they receive).

All of the above sets them apart (in their own heads) from the great unwashed who buy mountains of flashy tat for their unappreciative offspring, who are all doomed to remain separated by a vast cultural chasm from 'people who know better'.

Yup.

Nailed it.

I have read 3 posts on here this morning about Christmas piles, two of which suggests those who say they do are exaggerating/lying and one saying that’s it’s all for show/social media…
I think there's some truth in it and I also think advertising and marketers have really done a number on parents with Christmas expectations. Presents are just part of it.
There's an ever growing list of stuff to buy and do under the guise of "the magic of Christmas".

Need to have the right big present, but that doesn't look enough, so maybe a small one as well, but then the presents need to be evened up so the children have the same number, then everyone needs some chocolate, and it's Christmas so that means new pyjamas and fluffy socks or slippers too, then there's the rack after rack of stocking filler stuff/boots gift sets, novelty tat and that's just Christmas day. Not sure the present looks enough, gift box it in another way so the box and wrapping look more inviting. After all you want it to be magic when the children walk in and see don't you?

Better get a Christmas eve box on the go as well, and a Christmas movie, and a hot chocolate kit because if you don't have a comfy evening in as a family on Christmas eve, are you really making memories? You need festive themes plates for Santa too, preferably personalise it for your children too. Make sure you've bought reindeer food to sprinkle too. It's your job as a parent to create magical memories keep magic alive.

Then in the run up to Christmas, have you done panto, have you booked tickets to various (often expensive) events, have you bought the Christmas jumpers, have you bought something matching as a family for your pre Christmas photos, have you done the right Santa visits too, got to get the children very excited over the coming weeks so they have the right magical reaction on Christmas day.

The pile of presents pressure is just one part of months of pushing the idea on parents (especially mothers!) that they have to go all out to get the right reaction from their children, which allows them to feel they've made Christmas magical.

If everything was low key and still enjoyable there'd probably be less pressure to have the grand reveal on Christmas morning to mounds of stuff.

I do feel on here like you have to give your kids a maximum of 4 very cheap but high quality gifts and that list has to include a book, essential clothing and a toothbrush. You shouldn't give any adults anything. You also need to put your tree up Christmas Eve night and leave it until 12th night. It's a bit of a race to the bottom I think.

Snobbery. No more, no less.

People are so determined to exaggerate and polarise. 'Everyone these days spoils their kids and posts photos of huge mountains of presents on Instagram'. 'Everyone on MN thinks it's tacky to give children anything more than a book and a satsuma'.

Nope. The vast majority of people (on MN and irl) are in the middle.

AllProperTeaIsTheft
You're right. Most people are in the middle.

I find it annoying how many people seem incapable of understanding that some people are trying to be mindful of their consumption. When they inform us that they know what people really mean, it's never the boring conclusions like "that family have decided they would rather try to avoid the increased costs that add up by lots of 'small' filler presents and stocking fillers" or "that family don't want to be drowning in toys and inventory so it's easier to have a smaller Christmas".