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Christmas

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I'm Hosting, I'm hosting!!!.....I've never hosted before

34 replies

WhyCantPeopleBeNice · 21/11/2023 07:50

Ok, so last year's Christmas was crap - adult kids fighting constantly.
Everything was falling to me so I put my foot down and refused
Husband and kids tried to work together but honestly...it was a rubbish day and didn't feel like Christmas.
This year, kids are getting along better since one moved out and for the first time ever MY MUM IS COMING!!!!!!
Except, I haven't got a bloody clue what to do or how to make it feel special without falling into traps of old trying to recreate something that's hard work on me and will likely just remind us of the more rubbish year.
So, starting from total scratch
Christmas, 6 adults
What do I do?
Where do I start?

OP posts:
sashh · 21/11/2023 08:01

Start with do you have a table and chairs that will seat everyone? Enough crockery / cutlery?

Is anyone staying over?

Work out a time table, are you doing presents before food? After? What are the 'essentials' do you watch the king's speech? DO you play board games?

Start to empty your freezer so you can prep ahead and freeze things.

Outsource pudding to one of the adults and a starter to another.

Are you going traditional turkey or something else?

I've not done Christmas for decades but I used to frequently have 5 course dinners for groups.

Timeforallthecheese · 21/11/2023 08:03

Marks and Spencer food to order. Just gets timed and put in the oven. Cook or steam your veg. They also do good desserts. Buy wine and drinks. Job done. I hate to say it, but it really is just a roast but with extras. Possibly some canapés when people arrive.

Make sure you’re not in the kitchen all day. Get help and that includes the dishes. Set a nice table, candles etc. if you want a couple of extra touches then a little table gift or a good cracker.

Let people be after dinner. If someone wants to go for a walk, let them or, if they want to have a snooze but that’s once the kitchen and dishes are tidied up. Don’t be a martyr.

Fooshufflewickjbannanapants · 21/11/2023 08:05

Breathe, relax and remember it's basically a jumped up roast, the things that make it special depends on your taste.
I usually have a small turkey crown which only my mother likes but makes it special for her, a big fish ( one of my kid's favourites) a hunk of pork with crackling and a giant pile of pigs in blankets maybe a beef? and Yorkshires oh and two lots of stuffing plus mash and roast and sprouts ( MY fav) and cauliflower cheese and a bag of mixed veg ( there's usually 14/15 of us it's sounds loads but most of it's done the day before so really not so bad. The only rule is keep out of the kitchen unless your asked 👀 looking at YOU mother!

ShinyBandana · 21/11/2023 08:10

I definitely second the suggestion of a being clear about the schedule for the day! It really helps to manage people expectations

Also, get everyone involved in veg prep the night before : sharp knives, peelers, Tupperware, mulled wine and mince pies round the table. Voila….a tradition is born

YireosDodeAver · 21/11/2023 08:11

Marks and Spencer is your friend.

Write out a timing plan for the meal prep and make sure all the things that need to be in the oven all fit, that you don't need 4 different oven temperatures and that your plans for saucepans don't exceed the number of pans/hob rings you have and that plans for breakfast are not going to use any of the things you will need for lunch.

Make sure your plans utilise all the pairs of hands. Don't be doing all the work while others sit idle or even enjoy exchanging prezzies etc while you are rushed off your feet.

sashh · 21/11/2023 08:11

Oh and check the local take aways to see who is open. Just in case. If you have that as a back up plan nothing will go wrong.

Whataretheodds · 21/11/2023 08:12

Make sure everyone gets out of the house for a walk either before or after the main meal (before is easier to manage)

Make as much in advance as you can/buy ready-made (yorkshires, sauces, red cabbage).

Meat will rest for an hour under foil and some towels so you can do the veg.

Assign jobs (not just the catering but pre-visit hoovering, laundry, sorting furniture etc.

I'd also be tempted to sit your husband and kids down beforehand and make it clear that you won't take any nonsense. This is your holiday too and any drama they cause is basically saying they don't give a shit about causing you stress.

lunaticfringer · 21/11/2023 08:12

My advice / buy Delias Christmas and follow it to the letter.

Singingontheroof · 21/11/2023 08:19

Peel and chop all vegetables and prepare your turkey the night before. It will make Christmas Day more enjoyable for you. If you’re cooking make sure others are aware they will need to do the washing up.

Northbright · 21/11/2023 08:20

Your mum might be a good source of tips! I do Christmas regularly for 12 now as it's not nearly as bad as I thought. You can do most of it in advance and freeze it. Cranberry sauce, parsnips, carrots, brussel sprouts(bought frozen ones are fine)..Par boil and partially roast the Spuds and then cook from frozen on the day. Bread sauce freezes well even with the cream in. Buy the Chris pud. Get the kids to do the pigs in blankets the night before. Make sure you totally cover the turkey in bacon so it doesn't dry out (and foil until the last part) and then cook all the other stuff while its resting. Stuffing in one end of the turkey, sausagemeat in the other (so make sure it's all cooked through) job done!

Northbright · 21/11/2023 08:22

Northbright · 21/11/2023 08:20

Your mum might be a good source of tips! I do Christmas regularly for 12 now as it's not nearly as bad as I thought. You can do most of it in advance and freeze it. Cranberry sauce, parsnips, carrots, brussel sprouts(bought frozen ones are fine)..Par boil and partially roast the Spuds and then cook from frozen on the day. Bread sauce freezes well even with the cream in. Buy the Chris pud. Get the kids to do the pigs in blankets the night before. Make sure you totally cover the turkey in bacon so it doesn't dry out (and foil until the last part) and then cook all the other stuff while its resting. Stuffing in one end of the turkey, sausagemeat in the other (so make sure it's all cooked through) job done!

I also sometimes even make Gravy in advance using the giblets (Jamie Oliver has a good recipe) and sometimes add bought Gravy if there are loads of guests. No one notices!

sashh · 21/11/2023 08:24

It might be a good idea to get out the cooking equipment you don't normally use. If I'm cooking for me I put vg and potatoes in a pan, if I'm cooking for a group then the steamer comes out.

OK So if I was doing a Sunday dinner this is how things would go.

I'd make a pate or terrine ahead of time, I might even freeze it and get some of those part baked rolls.

Set up the table the night before

Early morning the meat goes in to the slow cooker - obviously a full turkey won't fit but a leg of lamb or a beef joint will - I'll put it on high and leave.

Prep all the veg, the potatoes need to be in water but otherwise veg can go in the steamer - I might do this the night before. I make a note on the fridge toi remember to put potatoes in the steamer - the veg will take 15 - 20 mins.

Typically I would do some potatoes for mash, carrots, sprouts, maybe broccoli in the steamer.

About 30 mins before I want to eat I will put a tray of animal fat in for the potatoes in the oven.

When the fat has been in the oven for 10-15 mins add the potatoes - I don't par boil, you need to coat them with the fat.

Put the tray for the Yorkshire pudding(s)in the top of the oven and after 15 mins shake up the potatoes and put the YPs in. Put the bread rolls in the oven.

Serve your starter. Put the steamer on

Eat starter.

I have large serving dishes that I would put in the top oven to warm at this stage.

After another 15 mins your potatoes and YPs are ready, take the meat out of the slow cooker and wrap in foil. Pour out most of the fat but keep a little in the SC, add a dusting of flour and use a whisk to mix it in, add boiling water and stock cube of choice.

Carve the meat, put the YP and veg in the dishes and take to the table.

Eat.

Serve pudding.

senua · 21/11/2023 08:27

Stuffing in one end of the turkey, sausagemeat in the other (so make sure it's all cooked through) job done!
I don't stuff the bird - it just means that you have to get up even earlier to put the oven on it takes longer to cook. I do separate stuffing balls.

But, yes, it's just a "jumped up roast"Grin Get everybody involved: it takes the pressure off you and stops them being bored. Make a million pigs in blankets and everyone will be happy.

Northbright · 21/11/2023 08:34

One tip I've noticed from personal experience is not to get completely pissed before you have got everything into the oven. Or make sure you've got someone to take over if you do. It can easily happen to anyone and its Not Your Fault.

Whataretheodds · 21/11/2023 08:37

Northbright · 21/11/2023 08:34

One tip I've noticed from personal experience is not to get completely pissed before you have got everything into the oven. Or make sure you've got someone to take over if you do. It can easily happen to anyone and its Not Your Fault.

Did this accidentally a couple of years ago. We ended up eating at 8.30pm and forgot to do crackers or presents. Great day.

gotomomo · 21/11/2023 08:40

Firstly menu - any dietary restrictions?

Then decide on your centrepiece dish(es) taking into consideration the above. Keeps sides easy, use shop made if you prefer.

Then work out what other meals are needed, keep Christmas breakfast simple, not too much washing up, ditto tea assuming you have the main meal as a late lunch. I prefer going out on Christmas Eve but a take away or a complete contrast works best. Boxing Day have leftovers, bubble and squeak is a family tradition here

yellowlane · 21/11/2023 08:43

It's all in the prep. Xmas eve I stick on the Xmas music and pour a glass and spend an hour or so prepping.
Peeling and cutting veg
Peeling and pre cooking roast potatoes
Make the stuffing
Xmas eve (last thing) the ham joint goes in the slow cooker then it's put in oven with honey glaze for an hour

RedHelenB · 21/11/2023 08:44

We do it as a family. As your dc are adults they should be helping, it's part of the fun and sociability prepping veg together, laying the table etc

SnowflakeSparkles · 21/11/2023 09:00

Love some of these suggestions!

If you do want to cook from scratch, there is so much that can be done ahead.

I had a baby and moved out quite young and the first 3 years or so I cooked dinner, I did it all on the day and it was not a nice experience for me.

I do find it funny when people say Christmas Dinner is just a roast; I do (eventually) make a nice roast but even a normal roast takes me hours if I'm doing it all on the day!

Kendodd · 21/11/2023 09:07

Firstly, it's not your first time hosting, it sounds like you've actually hosted every year, you just have one extra person this year so you're a dab hand. Secondly, don't panic, it's only cooking a roast 😋

Saz12 · 21/11/2023 09:31

Hoestly, decide what will make it better for YOU. TELL adults x,y, and z.that theyll be prepping the veg by x time on Christmas eve, and adult a and b theyll be on clear up duty - which includes leaving the table and kitchen clean enough to be used again. Have DH to help /check its been done properly.
Give DM a task she'll enjoy, if necessary - eg set the table & make it look festive.
Decide if you want help in kitchen on the day, or if you want to close the door without them under your feet.

If you can, tell them in advance that you expect them to avoid arguments. Point out that for these few days, being prooved right doesnt matter as much as not spoiling Christmas for granny, parents, etc. Explain youre not laying any blame or getting into it, but that you want them to Not Argue.

Elastica23 · 21/11/2023 09:35

To keep it super easy, buy a crown ready stuffed and get everything from M&S and just shove it in the oven/heat things up.

Even easier, just make the main and ask others to bring the starter and dessert.

OrlandointheWilderness · 21/11/2023 09:37

Ah lovely, I adore hosting!
Firstly - how confident cooking are you? Be honest with yourself, no shame in buying in stuff. Prep as much as possible beforehand and freeze - even veg etc can be prepared then frozen. I write my timings down and follow the plan, and remember turkey needs proper resting and will stay hot under foil and tea towels for a good hour freeing up the oven.
I have a rough plan for the day in case people get bored but tbh it's rarely used! Get kids to set table and make christmassy. If folks are getting twitchy post meal turf everyone out to walk dog or play games.

OrlandointheWilderness · 21/11/2023 09:41

Oh and try and let people do what they want as a good time. If DH wants to chill and drink a few beers, relax and let him. If kids don't want to do much I let them. I'm a bit funny cooking - that's my thing but I tend to go in the kitchen with my DM and we do bits together with a glass or two of champers 😂.
First thing in the morning after child presents I go and cut holly and ivy etc by myself, it's my special time and as it's close it only takes a short time.

WhyCantPeopleBeNice · 21/11/2023 10:53

Wow
I was not expecting so much advice and so quickly!
I am confident in cooking, I'd already ordered a small hamper from the butchers, then last night the kids requested lamb (added that to my shopping list!). Thankfully as we're having lamb, beef, ham and turkey all are small joints so relatively easy to mix between oven, slow cooker and smoker.

However I hadn't considered serving dishes so I've added that to my list. Thank you @sashh for that reminder

To my knowledge all are staying.
Mum and husband likely to arrive Christmas eve eve and Son will more than likely be Christmas eve.

I'll likely send Husband to smoke the ham and do the pigs in blankets on the BBQ which gets him outside out the way
We also start with bacon rolls and champagne for breakfast so he can do that outside.

Steamer is an excellent idea for the veg

My mum will definitely make a pudding, I'm hoping she does it day before with my daughter.
I'll make chocolate fondant lava cakes

Then as long as we have nibbles, cheese board we should be able to avoid cooking evening meal....

The timings of the day, IE presents, breakfast etc is a good idea to plan, at least that way we've all an idea of what should happen when to keep each other on track

Do any of you do anything special for guests?
I'm thinking stocking for Mum and her husband as we always have one ourselves.
We don't have many presents to open so that part isn't really a big part of the day.

I'm also thinking if there's a quiet activity we can have ready if anyone wants to take themselves off and do something other than watch TV and eat which is our usual
I'm thinking maybe a silly game nothing too competitive. Any ideas?

OP posts: