Janet and Roy round-robin letters 2023

[GirlWithThePearlJamEarring]

Anyone in?

I'm more than willing to send (postmarked Oxfordshire).

As per last year (a few name changes ago) :

I promise to incorporate familial humblebrags, Jeff from Probus Club, plentiful and inappropriate oversharing re Janet's bowel resection op, amusing anecdote about Chairman Meow (their disdainful tabby cat), and a paragraph on Roy's nascent Civil War re-enactment hobby...

All written in a relentlessly upbeat manner, punctuated with many exclamation marks --> !!!

Except for Roy's 2 sentences on local parish council politics, which strike a sombre tone.
😀

Very much looking forward to this, not sure how the J&R tradition has passed me by in years gone by, but as the recipients of many and the sender of their own, I can't wait to see what happens when my parents get theirs (thanks @GirlWithThePearlJamEarring !)

Happy to send a couple (from Herts) so let me know if you don't yet have a sender (I may have already drafted a letter that needs a victim or two...)

More inspiration. The late, great Simon Hoggart, who published collections of round-robins sent in by readers:

'Time for the annual selection of Christmas round robin letters – part one – and I'm pleased to say they seem to be as numerous as ever.

'There is some self-conscious irony creeping in, but not too far, and not at all in this one, which may reveal more than the writer intended:
"We had a heavenly nine days with Jamie and Jen near Toulouse, the children spending most of the time in the pool, or painting in the shade. Toni was invited to go for an early morning ride with the absolutely charming local marquis – something she has not done for 25 years (with anybody).

'She will never forget galloping out through his maize and stubble fields, ducking the brambles as they flew by the hedges, and finally being offered a cigarette as they walked quietly back through his oak woods! Charles met them for breakfast back at the chateau, and needless to say Toni couldn't get her knees together in over a week."

😁

Even better extract:

"Harry was Jesus in the school Jesus Christ, Superstar. This was the best production I have ever seen, youth or adult. Both boys, especially Harry, were physically and emotionally drained at the end. I was drained too… seeing your son crucified nightly is not an experience I would recommend".

Yes I would add about choosing your recipient very wisely!

It's sometimes not difficult to confuse older people (I am not being ageist here ... it's just a fact) and the last thing you want is that confusion to turn to any upset as they struggle to remember who these people actually are

@GirlWithThePearlJamEarring she has an ear infection and then rapidly went downhill and was admitted to hospital where she died of meningitis.

She has a husband and a daughter who was around nine, if I recall. This was quite a few years ago now.

@GirlWithThePearlJamEarring 2017 at her funeral.

Oh, I'm so very sorry to hear that.

Let's raise a toast in honour of CatThiefKeith, whose legacy is still bringing amusement to many. 🍷

I agree.

Nobody should be distressed.
(Temporarily baffled, perplexed, mildly irritated: fine.
Sending to anyone at risk of being left genuinely questioning their own memory and anxious: not fine).

IIRC, there was originally an encouragement to come clean and confess to your recipient within a certain timeframe?

Though for many, playing the long game to a (well-chosen) recipient for years is half the fun.

I don't want to spoil anyone's fun here but I'd urge you to consider whether it's really wise to be sharing personal details (specifically the names and addresses) of your family and friends without their knowledge or consent.

Here's the usual round robin for those of you whom we sadly don't get to see as often as we'd like!!!!!! Sad that so many of you were away when we did our Round England Grand Tour this year- maybe in 2024!!!! Although already it seems that lots of you are already booked up. Groan!!!

Kids news first!!!! Chrissy is turning into a fine young woman. We know she'll be a real catch for a lovely young man! Sadly there's no one she has her eye on to bring home, but she and her flatmate Mandy come and see us every Christmas and don't mind sharing a room so at least she has the company.

Health wise, Roy's feet are healing up well after his bunion operation. And my vaginal repair has made me feel like a young girl again!!!

The 4 cats are bigger and more playful than ever despite getting older. We would like to adopt more but as Chrissy says, how many old pussies can you have in one house? It's getting too much for Roy. Every time he sits down he has one in his lap and spends hours stroking it until his arthritis tells him to stop.

This thread has cheered me up immensely. Thank you!

Update: you'll be glad to know that 'Janet' has almost finished her lengthy and detailed Christmas missive
(titled, as always, "Christmas Glad Tidings From Honey Cottage!!")

She is prodding a reluctant Roy to crack on with his permitted single paragraph.

From what little Janet is privy to, Roy's heated argument with vicar Moira (yes, over THAT ACCOUNTS AUDIT, yet again) was a step too far. Roy is resigning from parish council duties.

Janet has, however, curtailed any nonsense about him joining the Masons.

For one thing, he hasn't the legs for a leather apron.

In an exciting addition for 2023, Chairman Meow is adding a feline pawprint.

----------

I jest: the contents of my Janet's actual J&R letters remain known only between each of my requester MNer and me, via 100% confidential PM discussion!

Hope the rest of you J&R writers are having as much fun with it all? 😉

A corker here, from @SophiaLovesSummer, 2018!

"Poor Roy was - for the good of the whole family you understand, as that's just the man Janet married - tending to things with his green fingers and John snuck in pretending to offer him composting advice. Turns out the only thing he wanted to rub his mulch into was Janet, so now Roy is the third wheel in his own marriage, but even now he still maintains that Janet's pin-wheels are better than Sandra's (when they have the cul-de-sac monthly pot luck supper) in spite of his own wheel relegation... such a good old brick he is.

"But did you hear what Beverly (you remember her surely? All peroxide highlights and forever showing too much cleavage?? Their DD1 and mother of precious precious darling Abigail, DGD1 and now a Grade 2 at oboe even though she's only 13 and after only 6 years of lessons) got up to on her and Darren's cruise to Cancun?

"Let's just say it's a good thing that so many things have wipe clean surfaces now and beyond that I think we should leave it there... Or maybe not... well lets just say those travel firms didn't call it an all inclusive for nothing did they?

"Anyway, Rosie, you can rest assured that Roy assures me that he will not be going down without a fight.

"He already has plans for wooing Janet back at the Preston's Boxing Day annual do... he's been practising Nessummmm Dorma for weeks now and, according to Martin's wife Sue - you remember them? The couple with the bi-fold doors that they positively FLAUNT at even a hint of sunshine (even though everyone knows they only got them after seeing that lovely old Blue Peter presenter advertising them on the never never as theres no way his pension covered it, not after he had to take early retirement after all that funny business at his brother's accountancy firm ) - Roy's pitch is actually not too bad, especially considering that op he had."

Can do one from London if needed. Xmas has truly arrived!

Welcome, all!

A few gentle guidelines for anyone new to Janet & Roy/ any regulars who'd like a refresher:

• Requesters Choose your recipient mindfully: the intention is to spread a little seasonal mischief, bafflement and fun. NOT to confuse or upset anybody vulnerable. Leaving someone genuinely, anxiously, questioning their own memory/sanity is not fair and far from the concept's aim.

(The jury's out on whether we abide by the original 'rule', of confessing all to the recipient before the 31st December, or string them along until they suss you. Even if that takes years...Entirely up to you!

Often there's a middle ground, where the recipient quickly knows full well who's responsible, but enjoys the annual nonsense and wants it to continue. That's fine as well).

• Respect your chosen recipient's views on privacy: will they be ok with you sharing their surname/address without their express permission?

• Once linked up, probably wise to PM your writer the recipient's details you want included (for believability that Janet and/or Roy have indeed met them) in a non-specific way.

(e.g. Janet enquires after XX's Granddaughters, vaguely remembering one of them being talented at netball = fine.
But Janet might sound a bit stalkerish if she 'knows' XX's Granddaughter Sarah, older sister to Daisy and Isla, is 9, captains the St Alban's School netball team, earned her First Aid badge at Bromley Brownies in April, loves her guinea pigs, Willow and Rocky....etc!)

• Writers: When first PM replying, ask your requester if there's any subject their recipient would find too raw, even if written in comical manner.

(e.g. XX's beloved MIL is currently undergoing serious hospital treatment. XX probably won't find Roy's detailed health complications cheery).

Can do one from the North East

I'm very near you if you'd like to swap recipients??

Yes please! Will PM

Would anyone like one from Surrey? Happy to oblige :) would be great to have one in return for my parents too but no worries if not!

I can offer you a letter if you still need one? I have someone posting to my parents so don't need one in return

Gentle reminder to all Janet & Roy writers...tomorrow, the 18th, is recommended last date for 2nd class posting.

Hope fun being had between requesters and senders?
It'll be great hearing about the baffled recipients' reactions after Christmas!

@Turtleoo and @gettingolderbutcooler Will PM you the finished epistle for approval tomorrow 😁

Great article, especially the readers' comments, on Round Robins at Christmas.
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/dec/15/dad-christmas-round-robin-letters

Thank you! Xx

@gettingolderbutcooler and @Turtleoo, I've sent you each a PM.