Buying presents and presents value - HELP!

[Magpie15]

Hi, a simple question, you agree with cousins to buy presents for each other children. We tell each other what the children would like. If your cousin has two kids so you end up spending £40 for their presents (collectively, £20 each) would you ask them for a present for your only child in the value of £40 or less? I’m torn!

I’d expect £20.
The amount spent per child is what you should expect for your own child, not double the amount.
If they had another one would you then spend just £13.33 on each of them?

I’d never expect more to be spent on my DC because we are a smaller family.

No, I would say keep it the same per child personally so £20.

Having said that, I don't buy for cousin's children but I do buy for my sibling's children (my nieces) and they mine. I have three children and they all have two children each so they spend more on my children as there's more of them. As I result I usually spend a few pounds more on their presents - but it's spending about £13 or so rather than our agreed £10, not £20 versus £40. It's got to fair on the children.

Thanks! I always spend much more than others though, and it’s a bit annoying. Get the point though

@CoffeeChocolateWine that makes sense and is fair. Sadly they don’t do it and it leaves me a bit annoyed.

No. If you say £20 a child then it's £20 per child. The fact they have two snd you one is irrelevant. And really who goes around totting up the value of this present over that? I guess many people do!

@mondaytosunday well the thing is we didn’t agree the amount, but they’ve sent me their choices so I need to think of some choices for them and wondered about the amount to go up to. My child is older and outgrown plastic toys for £20 and it’s hard to find something nice around this amount.

If they are asking for gifts that cost more than you are willing to spend, I'm afraid you will need to let them know that you need more ideas that cost less. If they are unwilling or unable to do that then their kids get something you've chosen for them at the price you're willing to pay. This is what happens in my family.

I’d stick to the £20 it’s definitely not fair if your child always get a £40 gift and there’s a £20 gift, it’s per child not per family!

If the agreement doesn't suit you OP then don't do it! Just tell you cousin you need to cut down on present buying...or suggest buying a 'family gift' such as a game of some sort.

How old is your son? £20 is a good budget and there are plenty of things for all ages within that budget. I have my own DC and nieces and nephews aged between 1 and 17 and have never had a problem getting a nice gift for £20 🤔

Sorry, don't know why I've assumed you have a son when I don't think you've actually said! Will rephrase...how old is your son/daughter?

I don't understand who sets these 'budgets'... surely you spend what you can afford?

I have a budget I set myself of £5 each, this year I got our youngest niece a furry onesie.

The 4x teens nieces/nephews are likely just getting a bar of chocolate each.

Whats your kid into?

Gaming, Books, Sports, STEM, Wilderness, Cars, Music, Fashion, Culture?

You can find something for any age under £20.

He’s almost 11.

Well I ask them what their kids would like and I got a choice for each kid, each present £20. Meaning I’ll have to spend £40. So I need to send them my choice, and I was wondering about the value.