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Christmas

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Original poster

Do you buy all your friend’s kids presents?

32 replies

Baby2023x · 19/11/2023 22:26

My friends are all at an age now where we’re having more and more babies all the time so in the space of just a couple of years I’ve gone from knowing no children to about 11 or 12 between different groups of friends.

I’ve always got them something for Christmas, maybe about £20-30 each but there’s been lots of new babies born this year and it would be 2 or 3 hundred pounds to get them all a little something. Really don’t know what to do! I’m sure they will all be feeling the same. I’m wondering if I should buy a couple of emergency presents that would do for baby/toddler and just give them out if someone gets my kids something. Would you buy them all in this situation? Is it really awkward to raise the subject with them and ask if they want to give it a miss? 🙈

OP posts:
FiveWordsWillDoNotEightyFive · 19/11/2023 22:28

Not awkward at all. They will probably be equally relieved!
Tell them sooner rather than later though.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 19/11/2023 22:29

God no I don't! Just say no now, for everyone's sake.

theduchessofspork · 19/11/2023 22:32

Just say let’s not do it now.

People will be fine about it.

Thats far too many. if you want to mark anything I’d do birthdays rather than Christmas - but only for the kids of your 2 or 3 best friends. And only if you can/want to.

underneaththeash · 19/11/2023 22:33

No!! P

Muchtoomuchtodo · 19/11/2023 22:34

No. Never considered doing that tbh

idontlikealdi · 19/11/2023 22:45

No!

moderationincludingmoderation · 19/11/2023 22:59

We've all come to a sort of unspoken agreement that we only buy our god children presents.

ConsuelaHammock · 19/11/2023 23:14

I haven’t bought any children Christmas presents for years. I don’t even buy my nieces and nephews. I do however buy them birthday presents.
Apart from my own children I buy a present for my parents, my sister and two good friends.
I hate waste and buying for the sake of it so when mine were little I broached the subject and stopped all Christmas gift giving with siblings and with friends. I have neither the time nor the inclination to buy more stuff for children who definitely don’t need it.

mondaytosunday · 19/11/2023 23:23

Nope. I did it fit the first couple kids but after that no, stopped after they were babies and didn't do it for subsequent ones.

Original poster
Baby2023x · 19/11/2023 23:24

Glad we all seem to be on the same page! I really wish they were all in one group and I could just mention it on the group chat. I also feel a bit bad to say it this year as there were friends without kids who got my child a present and now they have their own baby I’d feel unfair to now say I’m stopping gifts. If I get them something though it’s only going to make them feel like they need to get mine something in return though 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 19/11/2023 23:37

Have the ones with new babies this year been buying your DC presents?

yellowlane · 19/11/2023 23:45

I've never bought my friends dc Xmas presents, apart from ones I'm godmother to. I don't even buy birthday present unless they're having a party we're invited to (my dc are older than theirs).
If you really feel the need I'd buy a load of selection boxes and give them out.

Danikm151 · 19/11/2023 23:51

My friends and I decided to just do presents for the kids. Generally between£10-15 each. There’s only 4 atm though

Rainbowqueeen · 19/11/2023 23:54

No. Honestly kids have so much stuff these days

I am absolutely struggling to come up with something for my niece and nephew because they have so much.

The constant gift buying for the sake of it is horrible for the planet and the less it happens the better

caringcarer · 20/11/2023 00:29

No I don't buy friends DC gifts or friends. What we do is all go out for a Xmas meal together. I buy my Goddaughter who is 4. I give nephews and nieces all the time they are DC up until they finish in education. So now just 1 niece.

caringcarer · 20/11/2023 00:31

I do put several selection boxes into food banks in December as well as other Xmas goodies. These people need gifts my friends DC don't.

PandaG · 20/11/2023 00:41

One circle of friends we agreed to buy one present per child from all 4 families. So we put the kids names in a hat, drew out the number of children we each had (so those with 3 kids bought 3 presents) and bought one present for each child we had drawn to the value of £10, then £15 as the years passed and stuff got more expensive. Kind of a secret santa, but the parents knew who was buying for each child and often provided ideas. Bought joint birthday presents too, one £30 present between the 3 families, rather than 3 smaller ones. Double the budget for an 18th, then stop. Last child in the group is 17 now, so only one more Christmas and birthday to buy for.

Tend to buy birth presents for other friend's DC, and birthday presents if godparents or invited to the party. Otherwise no, too many to buy for!!

Fluffyc1ouds · 20/11/2023 09:29

Just say money is tight this year so you can't buy for friend's children, even though you'd love to. Then just stop going forward. That's an insane number of kids to buy for! Your friends are baby-machines!

I'm generally reducing Christmas presents this year and a few relatives I've said it to have been relieved and asked to just not do them at all. There's so much pressure to spend so much.

MassiveFuckingSalad · 20/11/2023 09:33

We do, but if it wasn’t affordable to any of us, we would say so. Don’t feel awkward, if they’re real friends, they’ll understand.

SnapdragonToadflax · 20/11/2023 09:37

I don't even get my friends Christmas presents, let alone their children! We agreed in our early 20s that we'd just do birthdays. I get birthday presents for their children if we're seeing them within a couple of weeks of their birthday, and always for our closest friend's child because we live nearby so can drop round.

I guess if we saw them at Christmas we'd get Christmas presents, but that would be quite unusual.

Switchingoff · 20/11/2023 09:40

We do a charity donation on behalf of all the kids to a charity they can relate to - last year we made a little animation explaining and the parents seem to really appreciate it. One year added a little book from Amazon and then put on the gift message about the donation

GettingStuffed · 20/11/2023 09:59

Presents are family only

SquigglePigs · 20/11/2023 10:32

Yes, we do. We're up to about 11 kids at Christmas and then birthdays too, plus any school friends parties. We don't spend that much though. For most of the kids I aim around the £10 mark,, although a little higher for our Goddaughters. If I can pick up a bargain for £7-8 then great. If I see the perfect gift at £12-14 then I'll get it but try not to do that for too many in one season!

If you don't want to stop presents altogether maybe now is the time to review the budgets?

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 20/11/2023 10:35

We only have one friend who is not family with one little boy so I have bought for him, I don’t expect they will buy for ours as they never have before which is fine. I just get him a little something, sometimes just a selection box. The only other kids we buy for are our 6 nieces and nephews. We don’t buy for young cousins anymore or their kids as we haven’t seen them in about 5 years. I don’t Exocet anything from them either.

TheBirdintheCave · 20/11/2023 19:04

I do buy presents for the ones I consider nieces and nephews. I just ask their parents what they'd like for Christmas. Sometimes they say 'Nothing this year thanks' and other times there are specific things they want :)