How can I make my 20yr old step daughter Christmas magical?

[WildFlowerBees]

We have our ups and downs, a lot of downs but she's turning into a really lovely young woman. She gets quite bad anxiety and has trouble making friends. (Long story) so she's quite lonely.

Anyway this year I've asked if she wants to spend Christmas with us as her mum and her dh are seeing his family and she doesn't want to go.

Dh doesn't like Christmas and dsd isn't a huge fan but enjoys the family aspect.

No kids of my own so it'll just be the three of us. I bloody love Christmas and I'd love to make it feel magical without the over the top festivities.

What can we do on Christmas Eve night and Christmas Day to help her enjoy herself, relax and have fun? She'll be going to her boyfriends in the afternoon.

I was thinking of running her a nice bath, glass of bubbles then giving her a facial. I'm hugely into skincare and pleased to say it's rubbed off on her 😬

I would love it if she had a really nice Christmas this year. She can be a bit moody if things don't go her way and it can be hard work.

Just trying to keep things on an even keel so we all enjoy our time together.

Sounds lovely OP you're very thoughtful, I hope you have a great Christmas ☺️

Excellent. Glad it's sorted. Asking the person directly is always the best way

I'm not sure of the purpose of this thread - other than to glean praise

I think that's unfair Namechange, I don't need praise. I asked because as I said I wanted to make it nice for her but given the mixed responses to my suggestions I asked her rather than surprising her so it's now sorted.

I don't mean to be rude but I would be soooo creeped out and uncomfortable if my step mam ran me a bath as a 20 year old woman. That's something I wouldn't expect anyone but possibly my husband to do and even then I would be irritated unless I had expressed I wanted a bath at that time.

The facial also sounds odd too. My step mam where super into doing my
hair and make up. They had visions of this type of spa day thing I
think. I did it once or twice to keep the peace but hated every second
of it... I'm not their toy to play with like a Barbie.

Some bubbles, fine if she likes that (otherwise I would get her favorite drink - I can't drink wine type drinks but rum I wouldn't say no too etc...).

If she likes face masks etc... then maybe get some for a 'xmas eve box' along with the drink and maybe even some PJ's (nice tradition) and ask if she wants to do one with you (don't decide for her she is).

If she doesn't like fuss or Xmas then to be honest you forcing all this sounds like its all about what you want not her. She is coming to you to avoid this awkwardness and its like your trying to force your love for xmas onto her. Play it loose and relaxed.

No one has said you are a wicked step mam... you clearly try very hard to involve her. I'm just saying as a step daughter trying too hard is almost as bad as not trying at all. Your hearts clearly in the right place I think you just need to take your foot off the gas and let things flow more naturally.