First Christmas just the three of us, will it be festive?

[HettieMama]

We are considering doing Christmas at home just me DH and DD who will be 2.5 years old this year. We've never done Christmas at home we've always gone to one or both of our parents however we are thinking of trying it this year. My concern is will it feel like Christmas or just another day?
If you do or have done Christmas just yourselves with small child(ren) how does your day look? What do you love about it?
Should add I'm pregnant with number 2 so no drinking either.

we absolutely loved it! Christmas 2020 was me, DH and DC1 (aged just under 1yo). we had an easy Chistmas dinner, mix of homemade and trays from M&S, lovely morning walk, relaxed present opening, lots of dancing with DC1 (his favourite song was Dominic the donkey). You can really do whatever you want, however you want it. Enjoy!

We did this last year when DD was about 2.5, we had a great time. So much more relaxing than hammering round visiting everyone, taking a million things for DD, her not sleeping or having a danger nap in the car at 6pm on the way home then being up til 10 meaning we had no evening or down time on Christmas day..we did stocking then presents, nice breakfast, played with DD new presents and watched some Christmas programs like the snowman then had a lovely roast for lunch, little walk in the afternoon then more playing and chilling out. It was lovely and although it wasn't like Christmas always had been, it still felt special. I think if we didn't have DD then it would have been a bit boring and unchristamassy to be honest but being able to start our own traditions at home for DD was really nice. Highly recommend and we are doing the same this year.

I’d definitely do it!!
For ds’s first Christmas we went to my parents house for breakfast and presents and then we went to dp's parents house for presents and to have lunch with them and his grandparents. It was alright but I don’t want to do it again as it took up nearly the whole day and by the time we got home everyone was tired and we still had presents to open.
Last year we went to dp’s grandparents house for presents, then to his parents house for presents and then to my parents house for presents and a quick breakfast. We were home early in the afternoon and there was plenty of time to open presents and we had buffet food for tea. It was much nicer to have time for just us but everyone was happy as we still got to see everyone.
Ds will be almost 2 and a half this year and I’m hoping that it will be the same as last year. It’s important for dp and his family that they see each other on Christmas Day and it would feel unfair to not see my parents as well if we’re seeing his (they live close to each other) but we still get to have the rest of the day just for us which is important to me as I like it to be just us and to see ds opening his presents and playing with them and to just be able to relax at home 🥰

We started our Christmas traditions when our first was about that age. We always had quite a structured day which makes it easier think. There is always something to look forward to through the day. It's what worked for us anyway. We went to my parents every other year.

It will be lovely! Plan to make some of your own traditions - pyjamas, Christmas Eve box, mince pie for Santa if you’re into all that. Nice Christmas breakfast after opening presents, a Christmas walk then movie and dinner… My favourite Christmas in recent years is when it was just us three. So relaxing, no pressure and DC just having a wonderful day.

This is the first year it will just be me, DP and 2 year old DD and I'm really looking forward to it. I've booked for us to go out for Christmas Dinner (never been out for Christmas Dinner before) just so we are out for a bit and to save cooking for just us. Hopefully if the weather is OK we'll go for a walk in the morning to the park, let her play with her toys and just have a nice relaxing day.

Sure, though it's just me and my two kids so I did all the work! My husband died when they were four and six so most years we are on our own. It's special because you don't exchange gifts every day, have a lovely indulgent meal, all watch a few Christmas movies, play a few games etc. Plus the tradition around it - picking out the tree and so on. In fact because of covid the last four Christmases have been just the three of us. This year we will go abroad and spent it with family - noisier and busier for sure. But it will be different, not necessarily better.

My husband and I had this during Christmas lock down and he said it was his best Christmas ever - if my daughter hadn't been with her dad and been with us instead I would have said the same! It was just lovely to cook the food we wanted and watch what we wanted on TV and spend time together. I loved it so much. We had loads of Christmas sex too as I recall!

I think you will really enjoy it. Especially with your little one too, just old enough to get excited about gifts - how lovely will that be? OP I am jealous!

We did it once when the DCs were very young but agreed it just wasn't the same without grandparents and have never done it again apart from in Covid. When I was growing up it was always spent with extended family too, I much prefer it.

We did this twice - once for our youngest’s first Christmas, then the year after due to Covid lockdown. We were so looking forward to a big family Christmas that year and upset it couldn’t happen. I don’t think I’d do a small Christmas again by choice- it just didn’t feel the same.

Sorry I think it’s rubbish and feels like any other meal in the week- I come from a tiny family and wish I had extended family to meet up with- those are my best memories growing up

Also have a 2.5 year old and we've done this two years in a row so far and love it! So much more relaxing, you can do exactly what you want without any rush or fuss (which is great when also pregnant). It's definitely festive but you'll be reframing what festive means according to your own little family. We do a Christmas meal with extended family ahead of christmas too so we still have a mini Christmas with the grandparents.

In my experience the present opening is lovely and you get time to really watch them enjoy their gifts. However the meal is just not festive in the same way, because for me it just didn’t feel worth it. In fact the first year that it was just us and 22 month old (I think it was lockdown) we decided not to bother with the faff of Xmas lunch and just had a curry instead, DD had one of those kids ready meals or something. I think this is ok if you’re having a “big Christmas lunch” with family on another day but if you’re not then I did find it takes something away from the day. Especially as often the lunch fills a big part of the day but with toddlers they want to eat by 12.30 and then they’re done by 1 so unless the weather is good and you can go for a nice afternoon walk, I found the rest of the day dragged a bit.

Personally with kids that age I find the best compromise is to have the morning at home with just you and DC opening gifts and having a nice easy breakfast like croissants or something that requires no faff. Then going round to family’s for lunch and to spend the afternoon! It means you don’t have to do all the prep, and you still get the nice lunch, and the kids have other people to fuss over them in the afternoon while you kick back with a drink and the quality street. Ideally then put them to bed at relatives house and then walk back home late or drive back the next day but obviously that completely depends on where your family live etc. So it may not be an option for you if they’re more than an hours drive away and/or don’t have space for you to stay. But in an ideal world with young kids that’s what I’d do.

It's always been a home one for us. No one has big enough to host everyone. Don't drive so visiting everyone isn't doable. It makes me a bid sad really, that it isn't a proper Christmas because it's me, DH, three kids and Mil who comes over about 11 and leaves by 4 as she's had enough by then (in a loving way!!) So it's pretty quiet. I'm hoping as the twins get older it feels fuller.

They'll be 4 this year
So up, breakfast as they start to open presents then presents and Nanny comes and presents and lunch and then they play with toys and we kinda chill. I feel like we need more traditions so they don't grow up thinking Xmas was just boring

Depends on your DH. Mine is a workaholic and started doing bits of work on xmas day :( If we’d had guests he’d have been better company.

never again, I need family to talk to at xmas!

We like it. Less pressure.

I think its easy to become obsessed with what the day is supposed to look like instead of just enjoying it.

It's lovely but try to start the day later, that's my advice.

We had this unplanned one year due to illness and actually it was really nice - perhaps not as nice for tour expected guests who had to change their plans at the very last minute, but nice for us.

How on earth can Christmas feel like just another day? it would only feel like that if you don't actually do Christmas.

Growing up it was just me and my mam until I was a pre-teen, it was incredible.

For 10 years it was just me, DH and oldest DS too which was fine too in general (was hard after MMC as it felt like a person was missing but thats a pregnancy loss issue not small Christmas problem really).

The worst Christmases I ever had where the big family ones, throughout my teens. Having your grumpy uncle complaining constantly and napping grandparent (that everyone is fretting will die in his sleep on the sofa) and cousins you only see once a year and have nothing in common with there adds ZERO magic in my opinion.

My DH whose family did one on one off with family Christmas then small Christmas agrees... he hated the big family ones too.

I think people get bogged down by not being able to envision anything except the one thing they know when really they could discover that one thing might not actually be very good if they try other things.