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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Mum in her 80s, have bought her everything nice before!

111 replies

drspouse · 25/10/2023 14:16

DM always likes my presents but it's kind of a high bar now and I feel like I've done everything!
She likes reading, knitting, gardening, art, and rambling, as well as travelling.
She's relatively active but is 81 so there are limits nowadays.
If I buy her anything to eat she moans that she "doesn't need it" and gives it to someone else.
I have bought her a nice knitting kit (but she finds it hard to get the right tension so tends to stick to her tried and trusted patterns despite the fact that the DCs will never wear her itchy jumpers...).
Bought everything cashmere already, as well as a lovely wool blanket for the sofa.
Done a book club subscription, nice socks and lavender eye mask, done hand cream though of course I could get some more but that's a bit small for a whole present.
She makes everything for the allotment out of junk and I don't really know what she needs (apart from hand cream of course!).
I tried to get her annual membership of her local art gallery before but it was really complicated and she's too far from big cities to really want to travel for e.g. Royal Academy membership (also she's fallen out with a few of her regular haunts, suspect over gender woo but I can't remember which ones!)
She's already in the NT and I have such a lot of family limitations that I can't any longer go and take her out to the theatre or similar (that's been successful in the past and I would enjoy it too, so that's a shame).
She does a painting class but I don't really know what she'd like/need for that.
ETA she wouldn't want scented candles, and I've bought her an oil burner before but I don't think she used up the melts I got.
Heeeelp....

OP posts:
SirMcDoddle · 25/10/2023 16:42

@Almahart can you use those to put them on the top of you instead?
i have a relative who is using a wheelchair and I’m think they would love that when going out in winter.

YoDood · 25/10/2023 16:42

My mum (80) loves getting earrings. Easy to wear, my dad is no longer around so she otherwise has to buy her own, and doesn’t take up space. She likes simple, stylish designs - nothing glittery.

I know it’s a cliché and you’ve probably done it to death, but doing jigsaws is a really pleasant way to spend time. I love Elena Essex designs. Something like this - Winter jigsaw - together with a jigsaw board for keeping them in?

Maybe not as a main gift, but as something on the side to add to the pile.

greengreengrass25 · 25/10/2023 16:46

SunsetBeauregarde · 25/10/2023 16:33

Is she a prolific knitter? if so, she NEEDS a wool genie. I bought one for my mum (we both crochet) and it's the best thing i ever bought her, she uses it every day. She then bought me one and I'm also never without it! Grin

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wool-Jeanie-Magnetic-Feeder/dp/B07NCYYBBM/ref=asc_df_B07NCYYBBM/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=340211188450&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14482218752584222551&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9045999&hvtargid=pla-698317175651&psc=1

Wool genie sounds great for OPs mum

drspouse · 25/10/2023 16:46

She does like earrings - luckily she can always have more!
Not jigsaws unfortunately.
@Ilikewinter that's not a bad idea - we tried a Christmas lunch half way ages ago but it was on a day with loads of traffic and the DCs were very small and it was all round a nightmare but a relaxing morning on the train with shopping or a gallery might work.

OP posts:
Almahart · 25/10/2023 16:50

SirMcDoddle · 25/10/2023 16:42

@Almahart can you use those to put them on the top of you instead?
i have a relative who is using a wheelchair and I’m think they would love that when going out in winter.

I haven't actually got one, they just pop up as an ad from time to time, but given that it's cordless I can't see why not. Would be lovely to have a warm blanket when out and about, wish I could justify it myself!

buckeejit · 25/10/2023 17:00

These copper gardening tools are lovely - the nunki weeder & the trowel are my faves. Like the nearby hotel with daily activities - lovely for a few days time together

https://implementations.co.uk/shop/

NancyJoan · 25/10/2023 17:07

Vouchers for Sarah Raven? Lovely, lovely bulbs and plants, and they also do courses if she’s within reach of them.

Sadik · 25/10/2023 17:16

My best ever gift to my dad (which I can now helpfully repeat yearly) was a Spotify premium subscription. One of DP's brothers actually suggested a different music sub that is more heavily classical focused, so that's also out there, but my dad has found a huge range of music on Spotify literally including the obscure house band from the jazz club he used to go to in the 1950s.

Btw dad has a Kindle fire & it doesn't seem too problematic on the tech front, plus he tells me that the Amazon helpline is really good, much as I don't like them on the ethical front.

Stickytreacle · 25/10/2023 17:18

Walking poles or a heated gilet?

Sadik · 25/10/2023 17:20

Funniest gift ever (which was actually good in the end) - a selection of ornamental grasses for his garden. They may have been interesting and unusual once established, but they did look like I was giving him three very small pots of grass ....
I've also given him Japanese hardy ginger plants which are unusual & decorative though sadly last December's crazy frost finished them off, I think they'd have been ok if in the ground not pots though

LatteLady · 25/10/2023 17:24

RHS membership as you get a rather good magazine monthly and you could take her to visit various gardens through the year.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 25/10/2023 17:25

I can see that things are difficult for you getting to see her, but my guess is that this is what she would like the most . I don't think it's totally unreasonable for your DH to look after your son while you visit your mum - is he the children's father ?

Storynanny1 · 25/10/2023 17:25

I second the turtle doves fingerless cashmere gloves - I’ve got several pairs but am always up for more pairs in different colours.
A bottle of my favourite perfume
Afternoon tea
One Christmas my son bought me a set of carbon circular knitting needles in a case which I use a lot.

triggers34 · 25/10/2023 17:26

A mulberry bush for her allotment ? There is a new kind that fruits straight away - it won awards .

A subscription to readly which has millions of magazines all on line .

drspouse · 25/10/2023 17:30

I know everyone likes the cashmere fingerless gloves but I have already got them for her.

I think she would, most of all, appreciate time with me and if she is feeling reluctant to stay with us (which I've already suggested, just not for Christmas itself, and I have an idea of a play to book for us), we can do a day halfway.

Unfortunately I work, including working away, and DH is retired, and this means he already has more solo time with the DCs than I do (both his parents are dead, he doesn't have any hobbies that take him away from home) and just like tech for my DM, a weekend at hers without the DCs would be an anti-present for DH.

OP posts:
drspouse · 25/10/2023 17:31

(But I'm not averse to lots of ideas as she is inconsiderate enough* to have an early January birthday as well).

*JOKE. My DS shares the same birthday. Unfortunately it hasn't really improved their relationship though we thought it would make him favourite grandchild.

OP posts:
DuesToTheDirt · 25/10/2023 17:44

My mum's favourite present for the last 2 or 3 years has been a calendar with a different family photo for each month. Not expensive, but hits the spot.

Chickydoo · 25/10/2023 17:51

Take her for a day out, nice meal, visit a garden/park, evening at the theatre.
Experiences & memories for you perhaps

hattie43 · 25/10/2023 18:25

My first thought was a lovely garden scene jigsaw puzzle .

reluctantbrit · 25/10/2023 19:06

My mum is clearning out and definitely doesn't want anything. So we go with food (nice chocolates, biscuits, tea) and a nicer brand of shower gel/handwash and handcream.

She is comfortable financially and I bought enough scarves, gloves, tote bags etc to last a long time.

determinedtomakethiswork · 25/10/2023 20:36

drspouse · 25/10/2023 16:10

A Kindle might be a present for her but it might be an anti-present for DH as he's her designated tech expert... I don't think you can read Borrowbox on Kindle unless you hack them (my DM and hacking... let's not go there).

I have a kindle fire and I borrow books from my library all the time, but not through BorrowBox.

StarDolphins · 25/10/2023 20:43

I would give her some homemade vouchers that she can cash in throughout the year - voucher for a chat & coffee, a nice meal, a few hours help doing whatever she wants, a show/film she wants to see etc.

I know you’re time limited but if you can, I think it would be appreciated!

HereForTheFreeLunch · 25/10/2023 20:47

Lovely thread.
My mum is 85 and I am also in the same boat. So far I thought of usb heated gloves.

AlpacaRabbit · 25/10/2023 21:39

What about a subscription to the National Theatre online?

drspouse · 25/10/2023 22:44

Unfortunately I can't pop over for a coffee/chat/meal/help because it's 3 hours away, we have no childcare and I work...

OP posts: