Care home resident/elderly parent gift ideas?

[Cryingbutstilltrying]

Any and all ideas welcome please!
DMIL (77) has recently moved into a care home. She is in very poor health and has lost her eyesight, limited mobility, unable to eat much and in pain a lot of the time. Often confused one minute but lucid the next. Is fortunately comfortable financially and has DFIL there daily, with family members visiting most weekends.

I am at a complete loss over gifts. Everything I think of she already has or doesn’t need. She can’t even enjoy the kids drawings and photos anymore. She has no ‘needs’ that aren’t being taken care of.
I don’t feel that we can give nothing though.
Please help with any suggestions, no matter how outlandish!

I'm in the same position. How about a lovely soft throw/blanket/bed jacket. Or perfume if she enjoys that? Toiletries things that she can use or clothes

Sorry you’re in this position. How about a twiddle muff to keep her hands warm and busy? Similar to a play mat for babies. https://www.ouh.nhs.uk/patient-guide/documents/twiddle-muffs.pdf

I take my mother toiletries like nice shower gels. Also clothes. Those are the only things she can make use of now.

i would get her a fluffy fleece blanket .

Some of the things we bought DMIL:

Big floofy bed socks
Nice perfume, perhaps a favourite from her younger days?
New PJs
Chocolates (she often wouldn't eat them but enjoyed offering them to others)
A picture throw with perhaps a photo of a favourite pet or her DGC?

We got my DMIL a 'simple music player'- it's a music player that is designed especially for people with dementia. It has very simple controls and you load it up with their favourite music ( it can hold 100s of tracks) and it then just loops through all the songs. My MIL is now in a care home and too frail to use it herself but when she is in bed the carers can just flip it on for her, I think she much prefers her familiar tunes instead of the noise of a radio station. I tried to pick the things that she would have listened to when she was younger and her face lit up the first time we showed it to her and the Everly Brothers started to play.

Here is link to it: Music player

A cuddly toy, especially weighed ones can be good for some

Fleece blanket.

you can get them with photos on . A selection of family photos puts her in context as a mum / granny etc. even if she hadn’t a scooby it’ll give people things to talk to her about which is helpful too. She’ll look more of a “ person who somebody lovers “ as well. I think that’s important.

my mum took her jolly Xmas fleece blanket into hospital too ( just a primark one ) as it was comforting and identified her bed when she wandered back from the loo etc 🤣.

fleece , more than anything else will cope with industrial washing.

when dad had dementia and moved to a home we got him a fleece hoody and had his name embroidered on the outside ( school uniform shop. I had a bright idea whilst sorting pe kit 😆). Achieved two things - again he was a “ person with a name “ and carers could say “Charles pop along for dinner now “ etc without having to remember ! He also , of course got it back when he left it on various sofas etc !

dad also liked things to eat - it felt a bit rebellious having a choc stash in his room ( in Tupperware so it wasn’t pilfered or attracting vermin ).

does she have a radio / cd player for the staff to pop her favourite music on ? Bit of a change from the tv all the time too.

gettibg father in law a blanket I think.

My mum has dementia and is in a care home. When I visited last, she was entranced by the very realistic fake flowers in another resident's room. So that's what I'm getter her for Xmas. Would that work?

I really sympathise that you're in this position. I'm also in this position, in fact I started the exact same thread last year.

My DM is immobile and non verbal.

Nowadays I tend to buy things that the home will need for her. For example, toiletries but nicer ones than usual. I got her a diffuser to make her room smell nice. Comfy loungewear that is soft but looks nice.

In the past we've bought her a photo blanket with all our ugly mugs on it. The staff put it on her bed.

I'm a nurse in a care home. Some nice perfume is always lovely. However things they need is always a good way to go. Fluffy socks/slippers, nighties and underwear (labelled with their name). I love to see the photo cushions and photo books too. Gives us something to chat about.

Could her grandchildren each record something for her eg a song, reading a story, a poem with each one ending on "Merry Christmas Grandma, love from Max" (whatever).

Thank you for sharing this, I've been looking for something to play my mam's favourites which she might have a chance of using independently (moderate Alzheimer's). This is the one for Christmas I think!

I hope everyone else finds lovely gifts for their loved ones and the ideas here help you OP 💗

I've just tried and failed to do a link - basically I got my mom a cuddly toy sloth. She is not massive sloth or cuddly toy fan, but it's really nice to stroke - sort of a bit like having a cat. I actually find it quite soothing myself and would also quite like one!

A clock that she can push that tells her the time.

Fidget toys to hold - my grandkids love these and they can be very soothing to use. You can get safe ones for adults with dementia.

I just buy something small to unwrap like a book with pictures of somewhere my parent is familiar and then ask the Activities Coordinator what she would like as a shared present. Previously I've given a donation towards an animal visit or decorations for events like a street party for a royal event.

There was a similar thread a few weeks ago. A lot of the ideas are similar (which I would take as a good sign) bymut there's a few others:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/4888913-gifts-for-someone-in-a-care-home