How do you make the magic?

[Findingthisweekhard]

My mum died very suddenly 2 years ago and the last 2 Christmases haven’t felt very special, probably because I was so close to her and we saw each other most days, so all our Christmas traditions were woven with her memory.

I have 4 dc of my own (under8) so I’m really making it a priority this year to find our own traditions that spark magic and happiness rather than dwelling that things aren’t how they used to be.

What do you do that makes your lead up to/festive period special? No need for big, elaborate or expensive, we are content with the simple life but also some budget available for experiences if they are worth it!

Silliness is important to our family. Last year I got everyone a kazoo and we all tried to do Christmas carols and it was hilarious.

Silliness - we do jingle bells around the house on Christmas Eve, in a conga line, every room. The kids play instruments and the pets accompany, all lights off and we carry candles. No one broke a leg yet..

I think getting a set of bells so your partner can go outside and ring them when Fr Christmas is approaching always adds a bit of magic (and gets them into bed fast)

A play a few days before - it can be panto but there are lots of more creative kids plays, but the rhythm of a regular day, going to the same theatre, going out for pizza / burgers after etc, creates a tradition

Decorating the tree together a few days before, going to cut the holly. Pick some timeless music that you will all like ( Abba in my house)

A good Carol service, with candles in the weeks before

Going to see the Christmas lights turned on in your local town at end of Nov - maybe meeting a mate w kids the same age for tea after

Getting then to help with making mince pies

Some familiar Christmas Eve and Boxing Day traditions - like always a Scandi style smorgasbord on Christmas Eve, followed by a movie, and then leave stuff out for Fr Christmas

Boxing Day, a walk and go to the local pub, and then cold cuts and fresh roasties or whatever you like

Boardgames - triv and monopoly or whatever you like

Bigger experiences

Going to an outdoor ice rink

A local garden that’s lit up - like Kew - but they are all over these days

Indoor ski slope maybe

I fill a tub with activities that we choose from. Simple things like hot choc, xmas movie, walk around to see the xmas lights. Bigger things is meal out and xmas events such as pantomime and concerts etc. My eldest have moved out and youngest is a teenager who obviously no longer believes but we still do silly xmas activities like the bloody elf who never did bugger off....

We have a few things we do each year. We go on a small steam train ride then see Father Christmas at the end.
On Christmas Eve we make cookies in the afternoon then leave a couple out for Father Christmas, we also have a buffet tea and we try and go to the local crib service before the buffet.
We also do something for others so the last couple of years we have made a family Christmas hamper to give to the food bank.
Then we like to
dee the Christmas lights around us and go and get a hot chocolate, make crafts and other Christmas cooking.
hoping to add seeing a Christmas pantomime after they have broke up for school this year on the lead up to Christmas.

Thanks for this thread OP. I lost my dad just before Christmas 4 years ago and my mum shortly after, we have lost some of our magic. I am loving all these ideas. We always have Xmas bedding and matching Xmas pjs. We like to go for a walk or a drive to see all the decorated houses, there is a street near us that most of the houses have fantastic lights up for charity.

Also, every year we go to the shops and pick a new decoration each for the tree.

Every year we go for a walk in the woods and collect the greenery for front door wreath, we make paper snowflakes to cover all the windows, and paperchains.
The kids decorate gingerbread house each Christmas Eve and help make a chocolate orange trifle. They also make dried orange and gingerbread men decorations for tree.

Don’t overstretch yourself op, either by doing too much, spending too much, or over investing in things you have little control over. If you can stay calm, and relaxed and just enjoy the little things you will set the tone for your dc.

We make a gingerbread house every year on Christmas Eve and it’s something that my dc, now teens, are adamant we have to do. But it’s never been like a Hollywood movie. Some years they’ve argued over what sweets go where, or because someone ate too many sweets and now there isn’t an even number of blue smarties. We’ve had a house collapse more often than stays up. One year they were utterly entranced putting spoonfuls of icing sugar into the mixer and lost interest long before the job was done. And I wouldn’t be remotely surprised if one of them can’t be bothered to do it this year when the time comes. But that’s all fine with me.

Kids are odd about traditions. One year you order a pizza because the dinner burned while you were grappling with the tree lights and trying to stop one toddler garrotting the other with tinsel, and the dog from chewing the Christmas angel. And then it is a law cast in stone that you must order pizza on the day the tree goes up forever more.

The magic lies in having a laugh, taking time to snuggle with them, listen to their hopes and dreams, and maybe even make some wishes come true.

I have teenagers and tbh, it's the fun and family games that makes it magic these days...
But I did find these, 'Believe' tickets , which I'm going to put inside the gold wrapper of a Galaxy bar or similar, then use the wrap on the outside replacing the original wrap. It'll then go into the bottom of their stockings and the ticket will be to watch a surprise Christmas movie with some festive snacks. I've got them for my younger niece and nephews too, the ticket will be to get into their new PJ's and dressing gowns, a special hot chocolate on the go and Polar Express on.

We've never done Elf on the Shelf, as I find him abit creepy. I did buy a special, elf plush, ordered from America when the DC were younger and it's a tradition to hide him then the rest of the family have to find him! It's great fun, like a not-wreck-the-house calmer version of hide and seek. Perhaps hide in plain sight a chocolate coin per each child, they all have to sit on the sofa and only use their eyes to look for it (have one peeking from behind the TV/ on top of the curtain pole/ on top of a photo frame which is easily seen from the sofa ..) think Ladybird books kind of thing (searching for the ladybird on each page!)

Reading a Christmas book together snuggled up on the sofa. If there are bells ringing in the book, let a DC shake your keys or give them a bell. Let them put a voice on for particular characters (whisper to them what they need to say) and let them put a voice on. Let them interact and be part of the story or just stroke their hair (my son liked his ear being played with, still does!) and wind down with it.

Basically have fun with it, let the DC lead in what they find exciting. I hope you find your Christmas magic again OP.