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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

If your grown-up dc, their partners, spouses and gc still love coming to yours for Christmas, tell me about it.

48 replies

Nonplusultra · 22/10/2023 12:11

Every year there are loads of posts by people who don’t want to spend Christmas with their dps or dpils, or who want to host their own Christmas and the gps are reluctant to come, and those who travel for hours with small dc to split Christmas between two families etc. It’s not hard to find examples of how to make Christmas stressful for multi generational families

I’ve no idea how things will evolve in our family and I don’t have my heart set on any one way. But I’m curious about people who host Christmas for several generations of family because you must be getting it right. I’d love some tips even just to improve my Christmas game for the next few years .

@recklessgran this thread was inspired by your comment on another thread.

OP posts:
Peony128 · 23/10/2023 13:55

I loved Christmas with my ex’s family. The food was good, the gifts were thoughtful, and there were little touches that made it a bit magical even for the grownups. I felt part of the family and that I was really considered. There were people around if you wanted company and games, or you could retreat a bit if you didn’t.

In contrast I don’t enjoy going to my in-laws for Christmas now. I have been slotted into their quiet Christmas and don’t know if they even care that I am there.

mydogisthebest · 23/10/2023 14:58

I am 70 and have always spent Christmas with my family along with my siblings, their OH's, their children and, now, their grandchildren.

My parents died a couple of years ago but we still all have Christmas together. I think it is lovely that all my nieces and nephews have always wanted to spend the time with us all.

We don't dress up but we do all wear something smart. We have a lovely lunch and then when everything is cleared away we often go for a walk. When we get back we sit and open our presents. We sit in a circle and take it in turns one at a time to open a present each going round the circle. It takes ages (couple of hours) but we chat and laugh and it's great.

After that we often play games - Trivial Pursuit is a favourite and just sit and chat with always lots and lots of laughing.

The tv is never switched on. I have never watched any tv on Christmas Day.

My DH hated Christmas when he was young. His parents didn't really do much for it, didn't even bother to wrap his presents and would switch the tv on first thing in the morning and leave it on all day. He absolutely loves Christmas now

Fiddledeedeeee · 23/10/2023 15:47

This thread has really warmed my cockles!

Stomacharmeleon · 23/10/2023 15:55

We have six children between us who now have families of their own so we see Christmas as a period rather than a specific day and have an open house policy. Generally they come Boxing Day... one works for Wetherspoons so might come another day but it takes the pressure off for Christmas Day. They can spend it at home or do what they want. We are just happy to see them whenever!

MissyB1 · 23/10/2023 16:09

I have 2 adult dc. Eldest tends to have to spend Christmas with his girlfriends family- I think it’s a rule that cannot be broken! I don’t sweat about it, tbh I get very stressed at hosting. We usually see them Christmas Eve anyway.
Younger one comes to us he’s single. To be honest I would love one of them to host Christmas and invite us I’m sick of doing it!

WitcheryDivine · 23/10/2023 16:14

Fiddledeedeeee · 23/10/2023 15:47

This thread has really warmed my cockles!

Me too!!

I would like to spend every Christmas with my parents but as I'm pregnant with DC1 things may have to change in the future. I love being at my parents (and so have my/sibling's partners) because it's a house made for being christmassy in. Lots of great walks, roaring wood fire, big oven, room for a nice tree. Christmas presents are done in a similar way to @mydogisthebest, although we sometimes do them in the morning if we feel like it - it depends if we're meeting others out for a walk or if a neighbour drops by. Christmas dinner is massive and then my dad has usually made up some kind of silly post dinner activity. We usually listen to carols and other Christmas music, or someone who plays an instrument will play and we'll have a bit of a singsong. Christmas quiz occasionally makes an appearance.

I agree with a PP that getting out of the house is important too! Local panto or gig or carol singing. Lots of walks (all the dogs need walking anyway). Seeing other people sometimes!

Nodashians · 23/10/2023 16:29

Not me but my best friend, she has three grown up DC who live at home. They all have partners and they stay for the Christmas period. She makes them all up a stocking and buys for example matching oodles or whatever they are called. They have one DGC too and the nine of them all play games and enjoy a few days together. They all go off and do an activity out of the house on Boxing Day and have lunch out and then come back and carry on. Everyone seems to love it.
They do similar for NYE too.

WitcheryDivine · 23/10/2023 16:36

Forgot to add no telly!! The max we ever have is a pre planned evening film if there's something we all want to watch. Usually it doesn't go on. I think that's a big part of it feeling special.

RoyalImpatience · 24/10/2023 11:16

@Stomacharmeleon@Stomacharmeleon sorry didn't mean to tag you.

@LenBast and serve same size portions for men and women or allow people to serve themselves. Serve plenty abd be gracious.

Don't try and force your Xmas trads into people

RoyalImpatience · 24/10/2023 11:17

@hotcandle.. That sound absolutely wonderful.

RoyalImpatience · 24/10/2023 11:21

@switswoo81 I think that's because that's what your used too and didn't prepare.
For many people me included, we don't have any large family to go too so we have had to work hard to make it a special day unlike other days.

It can be done.

I would have adored a large bumbling Richard Curtis type film Xmas but I can't magic up family

Robotalkingrubbish · 24/10/2023 11:28

Christmas isn’t just one day, where it all has to happen. My family all have in-laws to accommodate as well and sometimes they just want a quiet day just for themselves and their children. I always pick another day around Christmas to have everyone round. I do a day exactly like Christmas Day, with food, crackers, presents and games. It works for us as a family as it takes the pressure off everyone.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 24/10/2023 11:31

We have open house for Christmas. Christmas Day we have 26 coming. Christmas Eve and Boxing Day different numbers.

Some people come every year. Some come every other year. Some every third year. As long as I know by December 1st for Christmas Day (as that’s when the butcher order is confirmed) it’s all good.

We have a random mix. I don’t have family (except DH and the children) so it’s an eclectic mix of DH’s family, his in laws from his first marriage and various other rellies. BIL, for example, brings his in laws who love the big group-ness of it.

We’re the only ones who have the space to host everyone so it was suggested about 10 years ago by MIL, Granny and an auntie that it’s held each year at ours, but everyone chips in toward the cost. Quite a few people have said that plays a part in them coming each year - they don’t feel like they could if they weren’t contributing as it would feel piss taking. We did start by people bringing different foods but it evolved into us ordering everything and everyone splitting the cost.

It’s all quite relaxed. Dinner is at 4ish. Sometimes that’s 3.30 and sometimes that’s 5 if someone forgets to turn one of the ovens on! The kids have a blast playing with toys - DH’s Granny buys a present for each child that comes each year (even ones she’s not related to) and she’s amazing at grabbing things that have them all playing together. The teens love the faux-grumbling at having to play childish games with younger kids yet secretly love it.

Being relaxed is the key I find. Some people play games, some go for a walk, there’s usually at least one having a snooze on an armchair.

This year feels like a special one as DH’s granny is now 100 and, silly as it sounds, this last year she has got very old so we’re very aware of that.

AuntieMarys · 24/10/2023 11:37

I don't host Xmas at all, and most of us live about 250 miles away. I have a very nontraditional Xmas....we see dh's gc and family Xmas eve to give gifts but never Xmas Day or Boxing Day.
Suits everyone!!!

SomeFiggyPudding · 24/10/2023 11:45

Myself and my 3 adult siblings all descend on my parents every year with the 6 grandchildren and partners in tow. We love it. It’s loud, manic but full of fun and love! I know lots of people on here seem to hate the idea of it, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. We all take sides as well so the cooking is shared, I look forward to it for weeks beforehand. I know as we all get older things will change so I embrace it and enjoy every minute of it ❤️ 🎄 it helps that we all live in the same town as well, so all back to our own beds full of food and Christmas cheer.

sequin2000 · 24/10/2023 11:51

recklessgran · 22/10/2023 12:45

@Nonplusultra I'm deeply touched to have inspired your thread to be honest. We're not very formal but hope anyone who comes to our home feels the love as that's what it's all about. If it's all done with love you can't go wrong really. We only dress up a bit for the actual Chritmas Dinner but mainly wear jeans and a Christmas jumper the rest of the time. That forms one of the family competitions - there's a prize for the wackiest Christmas jumper [usually an Amazon gift card which cover all bases i.e. men, women. kids]. You'd be amazed what turns up - lights, music the lot. There's also a prize for the tackiest jumper - you can enter both if you like! Everyone, including the children vote for the winners to keep it fair. And so it goes on.......
I don't think there's a right or wrong way to do Christmas - you just make your own traditions etc. For us, there is the benefit of numbers - there's a lot of us so that dilutes any potential frictions, clashing personalities etc that you might get in smaller groups - it's easy to avoid anyone you might find tricky. Here, there's always someone to chat to and there are often two or three different conversations going at once and always somebody willing to play with the children. To be honest although it would be really sad to me on a personal level, should it be that one of the DD's and her loved ones didn't come then I guess it wouldn't impact too badly on the dynamics or overall enjoyment of Christmas since there are so many of us. This hasn't happened yet thankfully but as I know nothing lasts forever I'm making the very most of every single Christmas I get to share with my lovely DH and our family. [Don't worry - it's not all schmaltzy we do have our black sheep, people with issues etc like every other family!]
The key is to be flexible, have fun , little surprises and my lot love quizzes and are VERY competitive but in a fun way. Might be outing but every year I do a Mum's Christmas Quiz. This is all about what I've been up to in the run up and nobody's at an advantage as they really can't know for example - the date of my first present purchase, how many pairs of socks I've gifted or how many rolls of paper I've used in the wrapping blah, blah, blah. The prize for this is one of those cheapo money tins that I drop all my loose change in between June 1st and December 1st. The kids love the opening and counting of this even if they're not the winner! WE also love a game of mean Santa - that's another highlight. Gosh sorry for the essay but I hope you get the gist of it. Hope everyone gets some enjoyment anyway!

@recklessgran some great ideas here. Would you mind sharing some gift ideas for the mean Santa game that are multi generational? Many thanks

burnoutbabe · 24/10/2023 11:55

I have been to my parents every Xmas for 50 years bar 2 -1 being just me and partner to see if we liked it and 1 of course being covid year.

Sister and wife/nephew also come every other year.

So 4 or 7 of us. It's nice!

recklessgran · 24/10/2023 17:51

@sequin2000 we actually don't worry too much about the intergenerational thing due to the steal factor the way we play our version, so, I'd better explain that first. We put all the wrapped gifts in a big red fleece santa sack and have a giant dice that lives inside the sack all year until we get it out again so we can find it! So it's throw a six for a gift which gets opened and shown to everyone. Anyone throwing a one is entitled to steal the gift of their choosing from another competitor and so it goes on until the sack is empty. There is a version of the game where the gifts aren't opened until the very end but that wouldn't work for us simply because of the age spread. We do try to curate the gifts to peoples likes and interests if we can. It's really surprising what people "fight" over. One year here it was a selfie stick whilst the cash prizes were overlooked! Last year the adults loved the pack of descaler and a scrub Daddy - I kid you not. It's all VERY good natured though . To be fair, quite a few of the gifts are edible- e.g. a bag of percy pigs, a pack of jaffa cakes or box of maltesers. The teens especially seem to like these. I look out for bargains all year and just store them ready for wrapping. All adult guests bring five pounds worth ready wrapped too so either one decent thing for a fiver or a couple of bits from Primark or the pound shop. I then have a couple of cash prizes normally five and ten pound notes that get put in these little gold envelopes and wrapped alongside something else plus a couple of gift cards that get the same treatment. There's then lots of "oooh a golden envelope!" and generally the kids end up with them and the adults sort of "forget" about them when it's their turn to steal. I've just had a look at what I put in last year - obviously not complete as guests added their wrapped gifts to the sack too but this was our contribution - Bottle of Nando's sauce and a £10 Nandos gift card, a rice crispie bowl containing a mini pack of Rice Krispies, a black turbie towel [playfully fought over by a couple of hair dyers!], a packet of balloons, a sheet mask, trainer socks - mens/ladies & kids, hair bobbles. mens and ladies deodorant, a ten pound note in a little box inside a reusable folding shopping bag, a box of 5 pairs of fancy chopsticks [about 4 quid on Amazon], a dinosaur egg cup [one of the kids collects them], an ice towel, kids water bottle, a pocket size crossword and sudoku book with a Christmas scratchcard inside, a magic painting book and brush, a pack of zebra biros, Whot card game, a tube of jellytots, a pack of novelty drinking straws, a small bottle of hand gel, a fidget popper, a pack of Lindt mini santas, a car air freshener, shower gel, hot chocolate stirrer, Cadbury's mini egg recipe book [from the bargain thread - about 2 quid], nail stickers, magnetic tip screwdriver, lens wipes, high vis arm bands [joggers], lip balm, gaming socks, tin of Frozen spaghetti [ongoing family joke], a slinky spring - played with on the stairs for hours by adults as well as kids, a Ronaldo mini figure keyring from Etsy, a Salux Japanese wash cloth, a pack of washing line hanger hooks, a pack of orange ping pong balls, a toblerone and a pack of space food. At the end of the game everyone offers what they don't want for swaps so nothing really gets wasted. Anything left [rare] gets donated as I really don't like waste and try to avoid it if I can. Everyone loves the game and enjoys all the joking and swapping and subterfuge [hiding the good presents and hoping nobody remembers. Sorry, that turned into a bit of an essay!

JaninaDuszejko · 24/10/2023 18:53

I think a big family Christmas works best when people live close to each other. And also when all the adults share out the work.

When we host Christmas for DH's family I find it stressful because I'm not just doing one meal, it's 3 meals a day for a week or longer. One year we had 12 people staying and I got up on Boxing Day (usually my favourite relaxing day of the year) and realised there weren't enough leftovers for so many people and I had to start cooking all over again. I did it for MIL who is lovely, FIL had died earlier that year and I wanted her to have a lovely family Christmas without any of the work (she's in her 80s). But bloody hell, I needed a holiday at the end of it, I felt like a kitchen slave. Some guests are helpful (MIL) and some are a bloody nightmare (BIL). But I still want to host because otherwise BIL and his adult children descend on MIL and expect her to host. I now always take a long Christmas holiday into January to recover.

When I was a child my Mum always hosted a big family Christmas which as children we loved but I know it was a lot of work even though my GM helped and as teenagers my sister and I helped as well. That rather smoothly moved on to the next generation who are still local but we've not had Christmas with them since DD1 was 1. It was too much work to trek all the way to northern Scotland with a carload of small children and presents. I really miss those Christmases at home but excitingly we'll be hosting some of my family for Christmas this year. DM has missed out on my kids being small at Christmas (my youngest is 11) but hopefully it will be enough fun that she'll want to come again. Two weeks of 8 people in the house, but at least I know my family will help out.

sequin2000 · 24/10/2023 21:01

recklessgran · 24/10/2023 17:51

@sequin2000 we actually don't worry too much about the intergenerational thing due to the steal factor the way we play our version, so, I'd better explain that first. We put all the wrapped gifts in a big red fleece santa sack and have a giant dice that lives inside the sack all year until we get it out again so we can find it! So it's throw a six for a gift which gets opened and shown to everyone. Anyone throwing a one is entitled to steal the gift of their choosing from another competitor and so it goes on until the sack is empty. There is a version of the game where the gifts aren't opened until the very end but that wouldn't work for us simply because of the age spread. We do try to curate the gifts to peoples likes and interests if we can. It's really surprising what people "fight" over. One year here it was a selfie stick whilst the cash prizes were overlooked! Last year the adults loved the pack of descaler and a scrub Daddy - I kid you not. It's all VERY good natured though . To be fair, quite a few of the gifts are edible- e.g. a bag of percy pigs, a pack of jaffa cakes or box of maltesers. The teens especially seem to like these. I look out for bargains all year and just store them ready for wrapping. All adult guests bring five pounds worth ready wrapped too so either one decent thing for a fiver or a couple of bits from Primark or the pound shop. I then have a couple of cash prizes normally five and ten pound notes that get put in these little gold envelopes and wrapped alongside something else plus a couple of gift cards that get the same treatment. There's then lots of "oooh a golden envelope!" and generally the kids end up with them and the adults sort of "forget" about them when it's their turn to steal. I've just had a look at what I put in last year - obviously not complete as guests added their wrapped gifts to the sack too but this was our contribution - Bottle of Nando's sauce and a £10 Nandos gift card, a rice crispie bowl containing a mini pack of Rice Krispies, a black turbie towel [playfully fought over by a couple of hair dyers!], a packet of balloons, a sheet mask, trainer socks - mens/ladies & kids, hair bobbles. mens and ladies deodorant, a ten pound note in a little box inside a reusable folding shopping bag, a box of 5 pairs of fancy chopsticks [about 4 quid on Amazon], a dinosaur egg cup [one of the kids collects them], an ice towel, kids water bottle, a pocket size crossword and sudoku book with a Christmas scratchcard inside, a magic painting book and brush, a pack of zebra biros, Whot card game, a tube of jellytots, a pack of novelty drinking straws, a small bottle of hand gel, a fidget popper, a pack of Lindt mini santas, a car air freshener, shower gel, hot chocolate stirrer, Cadbury's mini egg recipe book [from the bargain thread - about 2 quid], nail stickers, magnetic tip screwdriver, lens wipes, high vis arm bands [joggers], lip balm, gaming socks, tin of Frozen spaghetti [ongoing family joke], a slinky spring - played with on the stairs for hours by adults as well as kids, a Ronaldo mini figure keyring from Etsy, a Salux Japanese wash cloth, a pack of washing line hanger hooks, a pack of orange ping pong balls, a toblerone and a pack of space food. At the end of the game everyone offers what they don't want for swaps so nothing really gets wasted. Anything left [rare] gets donated as I really don't like waste and try to avoid it if I can. Everyone loves the game and enjoys all the joking and swapping and subterfuge [hiding the good presents and hoping nobody remembers. Sorry, that turned into a bit of an essay!

Wow some fab ideas here. Thanks so much for your time x

hiredandsqueak · 24/10/2023 21:14

My lot and exh and grandson come here every year probably because it's the biggest house, I'm the best only cook and it's my birthday so that's another reason I suppose. In truth I hate Christmas and wouldn't bother with it and I had all the plans that when the dc grew up I'd just stop and ignore it but the dc love it and so it continued and then dgs came along and it feels as though it's started again and I will never be free of the dreaded Christmas.

gotomomo · 24/10/2023 21:40

Apart from 2020 I spend Christmas with all my family. Used to be often at my house when I was married, I hosted my parents, brothers (plus any partners, neither have kids) my kids plus would invite in laws who never said yes.

Alternatively and since my divorce (and house sale) we have gone to my parents, and this not includes my kids dps, my dp and my dsds - for some reason we always have them. Big house

gotomomo · 24/10/2023 21:42

And by host I mean 24th-27th!

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