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Christmas

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Christmas to do!

4 replies

Ladymama12 · 11/10/2023 12:58

Mamas I need your help! long post ahead.
Every year I go to my exes family for Christmas. we're very close we never had children together, although I had a daughter before I met him and now a nearly one year old. It works well when we go even with the new baby last year. I'm very much apart of their family. However this year they may possibly be going to another household for Christmas. I've been invited but my ex says he's not going( he's not keen on the family member) and neither am I really and I wouldn't go get there without him as I don't drive. Therefore I might have to have Christmas at home with my 2 children. I don't really mind however how on earth do I do Christmas with a one year old. she demands my time from the moment I wake up, we co sleep with naps from 11 till 1. we have a kind of set routine... and this will really put a dampener on things for my 16 year old daughter. we love Christmas it's always magical and perfect but I'm really worried that if I have to have it just us 3 it won't feel like Christmas. my ex will probably go to a friends he's not sure, I'd want him to come to me for my older daughters sake as he's like a father to her. my babies father would come but I'm not keen on the idea. I've suggested he takes her which would make life easier for me and my older daughter but he's rubbish at planning and he's never managed to help once with getting her to sleep so I doubt he'll have her.
If we are home I plan to go to church on Xmas day, I just prey it's not around the time the baby sleeps as she doesn't Sleep in buggy... my family are in London and I don't like spending Christmas them. very unorganised... I only got this news yesterday and I'm worried about letting my older daughter down.
I knew I would one day have to deal with a baby at Christmas but had always hoped there would be lots of people around who could help make it special for my older daughter while I'm distracted.... Do you have any ideas for how I can plan my first Xmas day just the 3 of us if need be. tia xx

OP posts:
Nagado · 11/10/2023 13:42

I think I’d start by inviting your ex. He might think that he should go to a friend’s house because you haven’t invited him, so if he comes to yours, then problem solved.

If he’d rather go somewhere else then either consider whether anyone else in the family could drive you to the other family member’s house (you’ll be busy with your baby so I’m sure you’ll be able to cope with them for a few hours) or get your 16 yr old involved in what would make the perfect Christmas for the three of you.

Ladymama12 · 11/10/2023 19:32

Thank you. yes. I'll invite him, and definitely start gathering ideas for how she'd like it to work. much appreciated.

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Nonplusultra · 11/10/2023 20:01

Have a chat with your dd about what things she likes about Christmas and think it through yourself. It can be hard going from a busy, Christmas with lots of people to a quiet day at home, but it could also be a nice opportunity to do away with the bits of the day you like least - eg having something tastier than turkey for dinner and wearing pyjamas instead of getting dressed up.

Once you know what the really important things are for both of you, prioritise those things and simplify the heck out of everything else.

Ladymama12 · 11/10/2023 21:21

Thank you. I guess that's all we can do which is a good idea. I really don't want the baby demanding the entire day but I guess its likely to happen. I think I'll prepare my daughter for that and obviously prioritise what she wants to do as soon as I get the baby to bed in the evening. I'll definitely get a list of ideas from her started. yes we'll still get dressed lol as we go to church but a positive is that we can go to church usually we have to miss it so I'm thankful for that. appreciate ur comments

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