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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Please help me with gifts!

56 replies

tearsandtiaras · 11/10/2023 01:33

Lone parent here - work full time in a professional role, no help from DD's father. My bills are so high- Life is constant financial struggle .

My dilemma is over 2 days at Christmas weekend we are visiting family £120 alone in petrol I have to save for.

I have 12 children to buy presents for ranging from 4-18
4 grandparents
8 aunts /uncles -although im hoping to get out of this

And my own DD.

I am crying at night time worried how to manage this. Could anyone suggest cheap ideas for the childrens presents? I don't know them well

OP posts:
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Nonplusultra · 11/10/2023 10:52

I would be careful about suggesting secret Santa - when DH’s family did that they decided to spend €100 pp so that everyone would get something “decent”, and then decided to exclude all the dc anyway.

If you’re going to have a conversation about it, it’s better to be upfront about the fact that money is really tight.

@tearsandtiaras Realistically what is your budget?

Thelifeofawife · 11/10/2023 11:08

I was in a similar situation (though DS dad did provide for him), a lot to buy for with not much money is hard. What I learned was to prioritise my own child first, then whatever was left was split between other people, which meant getting creative and savvy.

The Works is brilliant for children’s gifts, they have loads of deals on books, games, craft sets. They look a decent present without breaking the bank.
They also do jigsaws and books which you could gift for adults, again some great deals.

In the past I have done a movie night hamper containing couple of cheap Christmas DVD’s from Poundland, crisps, sweets, popcorn and a couple of drinks. Cost approx £10. I was lucky enough to find large plastic popcorn buckets in a pound shop and filled them with the treats, but you could get cheap wicker baskets from charity shops, or somewhere like Card Factory.
You could mix it up by putting mini games (from Home Bargains) instead of DVD’s.
I would consider doing this for a family gift, or at least for couples & then separate ones for kids, to really reduce your costs.

I’ve also bought packs of mini wine/Prosecco, packs of hand creams and candles, split them and added small chocolate box (mini Lindor, etc) and made up gift packs for multiple people.

Someone else posted on here with a similar issue, so worth looking through the other threads for ideas.
Also keep a check on the bargain threads, I’ve picked up a lot of gifts already for a fraction of the price.

How old is your DD?

tearsandtiaras · 11/10/2023 11:31

Thanks all-
I think maybe a trip to the works is in order, very hard though when you don't the children what to choose. I was thinking sweets jars also but this may not go down well with the parents

OP posts:
Landmary · 11/10/2023 11:32

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Hibernatalie · 11/10/2023 12:51

Suggest children only this year, or secret Santa. Selection boxes for the kids.

pizzaHeart · 11/10/2023 13:04

I think the problem lays with expectations. Your relatives probably will have a present for you and your DD so going in with empty hands won’t look good.
Maybe you can suggest no presents for adults and just buy small things from The works for children or maybe a box of chocolates for the whole family. Again if you are going for Xmas dinner it’s one thing if you are just popping by and the maximum you’ll get a cup of tea - it’s another. So I wouldn’t use the same approach for all relatives, I would be flexible.
By the way I would recommend Primark for older children and teens, they have lovely cheap make up bags, bath bombs, stationery and other little things. I know my ideas are more girls oriented, it’s because I have a teen girl .

lifeofsty · 11/10/2023 13:27

Don't buy for adults and let them know now so it's not awkward. In my family we do a Secret Santa between 20+ of us and buy for the kids. For your grandparents, if you like, make something - food items go down well.

Absolutely do not let this get to you. Christmas is about spending time with those closest to you, not how much you spend or how good your gifts are.

For the children who aren't yours, set a budget and find bargains (the works do a good book deal). One year I made s'mores sets for the older kids in my family and it went down so well! It cost no more than £5 each.

For your own, do similar as above. We are having a scaled down Christmas this year as I'm on maternity leave and I'm seeing it like a challenge.

bbcfolkie · 11/10/2023 13:29

This is ridiculous, nobody should be having to worry about buying that many gifts.

You need to contact your family and explain the situation- either agree on no gifts, or some kind of secret santa arrangement.

oohsharon · 11/10/2023 13:31

"I was thinking sweets jars also but this may not go down well with the parents"

Oh god, who cares? Are they really going to be mad about sweets at Christmas?!

AdoraBell · 11/10/2023 13:33

Tell them you can’t afford presents for everyone this year, so please don’t buy for you, just a small gift for the children.

As suggested try Home Bargains or similar, toiletries for the older children and toys for the younger children. A box of chocolates for the hostess/host.

OldTinHat · 11/10/2023 13:37

Don't buy for the aunts and uncles (you can mention you won't be buying this year due to financial reasons, they'll understand).

Grandparents - box of biscuits and a poinsettia maybe.

Other children - a cheap selection box each.

We all feel so much guilt at Christmas and we should be enjoying it, not getting stressed. As PPs have said, all the children will have plenty of gifts anyway so a token is perfectly acceptable. Adults don't expect anything unless they're CFs who don't deserve anything in that case!

NoSquirrels · 11/10/2023 13:38

Chocolate selection box for every child (often on multi buy deals in the supermarkets). If you can afford it on top, £5 in a card/ £5 gift voucher. For secondary school age (12+) do a coffee shop or fast food place (e.g. Costa). For 11 and under do WH Smith or one of those ‘spend it anywhere’ ones. Honestly, chocolate & some money to spend and you’re golden.

Tell all the grownups not to buy you a gift, you’re doing children only and say you’ll bring a hamper of treat food to share.

Parker231 · 11/10/2023 13:40

Definitely don’t buy for adults. Selection boxes for children - who does love them!

Spencer0220 · 11/10/2023 14:01

oohsharon · 11/10/2023 13:31

"I was thinking sweets jars also but this may not go down well with the parents"

Oh god, who cares? Are they really going to be mad about sweets at Christmas?!

I was thinking this

cheddercherry · 11/10/2023 14:28

If it’s not going to “go down well” then why are you bothering? They sound awful if when faced with a small gift or you getting in debt/ worried sick over buying, that they would kick off because you literally cannot afford a gift.

Release yourself of any guilt if your family’s response to your situation is “where’s my xyz” and not “how can we help”.

The kids won’t remember all these gifts from this massive family anyway but they’ll forever remember that Aunty who nearly broke herself in pieces over the stress of it.

Fairyliz · 11/10/2023 15:01

Why are you buying for 12 children you don’t know very well? That’s insane if you are hard up.
Just contact them now and say you are stopping gift buying with the col crisis and not to buy for your children.

LaurieStrode · 11/10/2023 15:20

Fairyliz · 11/10/2023 15:01

Why are you buying for 12 children you don’t know very well? That’s insane if you are hard up.
Just contact them now and say you are stopping gift buying with the col crisis and not to buy for your children.

This!

People likely will be relieved. This excess consumerism is so unseemly on a planet dying of climate change.

Thelifeofawife · 11/10/2023 21:16

I was in TK Maxx earlier and saw these. You could do the single one for children (though they had other bits for children around similar price) and the double one for adult couples.
single is £6.99, double is £12.99

Please help  me with gifts!
Thelifeofawife · 11/10/2023 21:17

Double

Please help  me with gifts!
caringcarer · 11/10/2023 21:21

Just buy the DC a selection box, Grandparents a photo frame and put a photo of DGC in. How old is your DC? If you tell us the age and sex we could make some cheap suggestions for you. Do not under any circumstances get into debt over Xmas. It's really not worth it and your relatives would not want that to happen. Xmas should not be a stressful time but one where enjoying spending time together is most important.

caringcarer · 11/10/2023 21:28

I've been out looking for a few bits for Xmas stockings this evening. I make a stocking for DH, DD, 2 X DS, FS, DS's gf and MiL. I found a tube of Aloe Vera hand cream for £1.25 to pop in my DS's gfs stocking and a tube for MiL. A travel mug for £3.99 to pop into DH stocking, a large bar of Galaxy chocolate to put in both DS and FS's stocking £3.99. All of these are from B&M.

caringcarer · 11/10/2023 21:32

CoffeeAndEnnui · 11/10/2023 02:42

I think you might move in better-off circles than me, literally everyone I know has a DVD player!

Surely people have blue ray players now not dvd players.

BerfyTigot · 11/10/2023 21:37

Have a look in charity shops. I've bought from there for my own kids Xmas. I've just dropped off 6 lg bags of toys this week. Most look like new.
Lots of people clearing out before Xmas.

SootspriteSearcher · 11/10/2023 21:50

I would go edible for the kids - selection box or sweets.

Or possibly something like Bath bombs maybe with a rubber duck for the little ones and a beauty face mask for the older ones. Primark do bath bombs for around £1. Or I saw dinosaur/unicorn ones in poundland.

Sticker books go down well with most small children. Mine are 15 and 11 and still love a sticker, notebooks and nice pens! (Useful too!)

For the adults I would get some nice biscuits/chocolates/sweets. Or a puzzle book and nice pen.

AnOldCynic · 11/10/2023 21:53

Don't go visiting? If they can be arsed coming to you then you can buy them something?

Don't buy grandparents, don't buy for aunts and uncles.

Do the kids have other aunts/uncles? How many presents will they be getting? You have 1 DC, they have more? Is there an imbalance there anyway?