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Christmas

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Original poster

Giving the same amount when ones wants nothing and the other everything!!

58 replies

UndertheCedartree · 09/10/2023 14:16

I've struggled with this the last couple of years. My elder DC is 16 and wants very little - a cd player, some CDs, and a few basic clothes. My younger DC is 11 and she not only wants lots of things (doesn't expect to get them all, just has lots of ideas) but is really easy to find suprise items for.

I've never minded about spending the same amount on each but I feel they need to have roughly the same amount of presents. I have a sort of formula for stocking, main present(s), hamper (food/toiletry items), sack (smaller presents). I have autism and like things to be organised and logical so it just hurts my head! Do I just do my DS's stocking half full? And just a few clothes in his sack??

What do you do in this situation?

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 09/10/2023 17:24

Scaredycats · 09/10/2023 16:30

I don’t think there is a problem with one DC having more presents than the other if the value is the same. Your 16yo will be old enough to understand this

Yes, he will, you're right.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 09/10/2023 17:25

StarlightLime · 09/10/2023 16:55

Lol at all the "CD's?? Nobody plays CD's anymore, get an Alexa!" posts.

Ha ha, I know!

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 09/10/2023 17:26

AvengedQuince · 09/10/2023 17:04

DS is 17 and would be disappointed if money was wasted on things he would give away. He would prefer to spend it on food or save it for electronics. Cider has been well received since he turned 16 though!

Yes, I think my DS is the same. Not sure he's ready for cider yet, but I'll keep it in mind!

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 09/10/2023 17:28

Weatherwax13 · 09/10/2023 17:06

I obsess over everything being "equal " at Christmas too OP.
Why don't you ask him outright, are you ok that you'll have fewer things to open than your sister? If he assures you he's fine with that you can relax. If he's really into his music, a gift card to pick out more cds will be really appreciated I imagine. Especially if it's a surprise. Wrap it in a little box so it's another visible gift under the tree to open!

It's not just me then! That's a very good idea to ask him and also wrapping the gift voucher, thank you.

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Vocaladvocaat · 09/10/2023 17:29

Give money. I’ve never met a teenager that doesn’t like money

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 09/10/2023 17:31

AutumnAuntie · 09/10/2023 17:19

I give money as I have this situation with one of my DC.

When I was growing up we were never given money at Christmas and I think that's why in my head I think I haven't tried hard enough if I give money. But the silly thing is I'm sure would much rather money than things he doesn't want!

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 09/10/2023 17:32

Vocaladvocaat · 09/10/2023 17:29

Give money. I’ve never met a teenager that doesn’t like money

Ha ha, that's very true!

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AvengedQuince · 09/10/2023 18:00

UndertheCedartree · 09/10/2023 17:26

Yes, I think my DS is the same. Not sure he's ready for cider yet, but I'll keep it in mind!

Show quote history

Different families will have different approaches. DS likes the taste of cider (medium to dry only) or perry, hates beer and doesn't drink to get drunk.

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 09/10/2023 18:14

I have 3 siblings and am 11 years older than my youngest. I’m sure I got less than my little brother when I was 16 and he was still in the mountain of toys phase but I never even noticed. I was happy with what I did get.

AutumnAuntie · 09/10/2023 18:23

When I was growing up we were never given money at Christmas and I think that's why in my head I think I haven't tried hard enough if I give money. But the silly thing is I'm sure would much rather money than things he doesn't want!
Teenagers love money, my best presents were a fiver in a card when I was growing up. Money, a stocking and one or two useful presents would be good.

MidnightOnceMore · 09/10/2023 18:26

SoSad44 · 09/10/2023 14:19

Kids still have CD players? Really?

why don’t you get an Alexa?

Bit rude!

MidnightOnceMore · 09/10/2023 18:27

UndertheCedartree · 09/10/2023 17:31

When I was growing up we were never given money at Christmas and I think that's why in my head I think I haven't tried hard enough if I give money. But the silly thing is I'm sure would much rather money than things he doesn't want!

Show quote history

You children are not you, and you are not your parents.

I'd give a voucher or money for the difference in main gift and I'd do the stocking with the same number of gifts for each child.

NoSquirrels · 09/10/2023 18:35

Can you make him some vouchers for things you know he will appreciate later in the year e.g. “This voucher can be exchanged for a return train fare to X gig” or “This voucher can be exchanged for a souvenir gig t-shirt” or something like that?

GimmeGin · 09/10/2023 18:41

Second hand CDs are next to nothing £££. Charity shops don’t even take them now and most get chucked in the skip!

im keeping mine in case they make a revival like vinyl.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 09/10/2023 19:21

AvengedQuince · 09/10/2023 18:00

Different families will have different approaches. DS likes the taste of cider (medium to dry only) or perry, hates beer and doesn't drink to get drunk.

Show quote history

That's good if he has a sensible attitude to it. My DS hasn't asked to try yet so think I'll wait for that!

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 09/10/2023 19:22

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 09/10/2023 18:14

I have 3 siblings and am 11 years older than my youngest. I’m sure I got less than my little brother when I was 16 and he was still in the mountain of toys phase but I never even noticed. I was happy with what I did get.

That's great to hear!

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 09/10/2023 19:25

MidnightOnceMore · 09/10/2023 18:26

Bit rude!

Show quote history

Haha! I told my DS about those comments and he thought it was funny. He wanted me to tell you all the CD player will also play cassettes so he can make mix tapes!! ☺️

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 09/10/2023 19:26

NoSquirrels · 09/10/2023 18:35

Can you make him some vouchers for things you know he will appreciate later in the year e.g. “This voucher can be exchanged for a return train fare to X gig” or “This voucher can be exchanged for a souvenir gig t-shirt” or something like that?

That sounds quite fun, thank you!

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 09/10/2023 19:29

GimmeGin · 09/10/2023 18:41

Second hand CDs are next to nothing £££. Charity shops don’t even take them now and most get chucked in the skip!

im keeping mine in case they make a revival like vinyl.

I did think about having a look in charity shops but not sure of the likelihood of finding the ones he wants. I might have a look and get him some that I used to listen to. Got rid of all mine years ago, although have kept some vinyl.

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Papillon23 · 09/10/2023 19:33

You can also buy kindle books for other people?

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=www.amazon.co.uk/gp/help/customer/display.html%3FnodeId%3DGVWGP284MQ6ZRM59&ved=2ahUKEwjQvqjVzOmBAxWZUEEAHYbFDC0QFnoECBYQAQ&usg=AOvVaw2m83IS3ppRVHk9hWni1MlR

Edit: I don't think this link is working, I just googled "gift a kindle book UK"

Print the covers out and put each one in an envelope or box to open?

Favourite foods like pringles/other things they don't normally get can work well as well.

Or upgraded versions of everyday things? That's still my favourite sort of present to receive tbh.

StarlightLime · 09/10/2023 19:35

GimmeGin · 09/10/2023 18:41

Second hand CDs are next to nothing £££. Charity shops don’t even take them now and most get chucked in the skip!

im keeping mine in case they make a revival like vinyl.

Of course they do. There are Oxfam shops entirely dedicated to music.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 09/10/2023 19:39

Papillon23 · 09/10/2023 19:33

You can also buy kindle books for other people?

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=www.amazon.co.uk/gp/help/customer/display.html%3FnodeId%3DGVWGP284MQ6ZRM59&ved=2ahUKEwjQvqjVzOmBAxWZUEEAHYbFDC0QFnoECBYQAQ&usg=AOvVaw2m83IS3ppRVHk9hWni1MlR

Edit: I don't think this link is working, I just googled "gift a kindle book UK"

Print the covers out and put each one in an envelope or box to open?

Favourite foods like pringles/other things they don't normally get can work well as well.

Or upgraded versions of everyday things? That's still my favourite sort of present to receive tbh.

Edited

Thank you, those are nice ideas. I can get my DS a nice 'curly hair' shampoo and conditioner as he has beautiful long ringletty hair.

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GimmeGin · 09/10/2023 19:51

@StarlightLime That’s a shame. Our local cancer research shop declined them, so my late mums collection went in skip. Was heartbreaking 💔

@op have a look on cex for second hand cds 💿

StarlightLime · 09/10/2023 19:54

GimmeGin · 09/10/2023 19:51

@StarlightLime That’s a shame. Our local cancer research shop declined them, so my late mums collection went in skip. Was heartbreaking 💔

@op have a look on cex for second hand cds 💿

Edited
Sad
jay55 · 09/10/2023 20:04

Cassette tapes are a thing at the moment and sales have gone up loads. So I'm not surprised about cds.

If you can find some, some blank tapes for those mix tapes might go down well.