Keeping sibling presents fair and gift ideas

[Broodywuz]

Hi, looking for presnt ideas for a 2 year old girl. Her sister will be almost 5 at christmas and I've already bought a couple of things for her and keep seeing more things she'll like but really struggling for ideas for DD2. I think partly because she already has all the obvious things passed down from DD1 (scooter, balance bike, toy kitchen, mega blocks, baby and pram etc) and also she's still at the age where she doesn't have much interests of her own and happy to just potter with whatever DD1 is doing. Obviously I will make them equal present wise but need help of how too without landing up buying tat that's never going to get played with just for the sake of it! I posted similar in AIBU before dd2's birthday and got flamed for obviously favouring dd1 and spoiling her with far too much gifts (this is really not the case so please be kind)

My instinct is to go the other way - if your DD2 already has a scooter/kitchen/bike etc, does she really need a big ticket item? Is there a way to give her nice stuff to go with things they already play with? Some play food for example - pizza set, birthday cake, ice cream stall? Or accessories for her doll like a baby carrier/set of nice clothes/changing bag? Or if you're looking for something they can both play with that you don't already have from DD1 how about something like a train set/magnatiles/Yoto player/easel if you've not got them already? Or something fairly consumable like craft things - playdoh/kinetic sand/pens/gelli baff?

I'd look at getting less for DD1 to match DD2's smaller pile, rather than desperately searching for things to get DD2 to make her pile bigger. Maybe they have enough?

I have 3 dcs. 16, 14 and nearly 9. I am drowning in ‘stuff’. Dd had stuff passed down from ds1. Ds2 had all the stuff passed down from them both. As well as their own stuff. My advice would be to match them loosely for number of gifts, but definitely not money spent. And you can get away with a couple of gifts less for dd2 as she’ll probably take longer to open them and neither will notice. Have they got a dolls house?
mine all loved an abacus. Orchard toys games are fab and educational. Could you go for her favourite character pjs / tops? Art & crafts, play doh sets. A tea set was a fave for dd.

If she likes similar to dd1 what about getting them 2 similar things? Like if you were getting dd1 a Barbie car then get dd2 the Barbie plane, sort of thing. Could encourage playing together.

At 2 I wouldn’t worry too much, for my youngest had some toys we wrapped from the attic, she got clothes, pjs, new baby doll to go in the pram she already had etc. I also grabbed a few bits from the charity shop. When she’s older you can even things up a bit more.

This year it’s her turn, she’s 6 and getting far more spent on her than her older sisters, not planned, it’s just worked out that way.

I have two dds fairly close close in age. I've always "paired" their gifts as a way to be fair. So I don't get them the same, but I might get them both a building present, an item of clothing, an outdoor toy, a soft toy and a book (say). There might be a difference in price, but they feel sort of fair.

Another option is to give the eldest the big ticket item they need, and the youngest something you know will end up being used by both, e.g. if dc1 needs a scooter, dd2 could have a bubble machine, or a stomp rocket or something.

I think at 2 and 5 you don’t need to worry too much about spending the exact same amount (especially if she’s already benefiting from her sister’s old toys).

I would try and and keep the number of presents roughly the same though. They will notice if DD1 is still unwrapping her stocking/pile 30 minutes after DD2 has finished! What they won’t notice at this age is if DD2 has a £15 playdough set but DD1 has a £30 bead craft set etc.

If you want to spend the same amount on them then you could put the difference into a savings account for DD2. Or you could buy her a season pass to something she likes doing (e.g. local pool, kids farm, activity park, zoo, aquarium etc), maybe wrapped up with a small themed gift so she has something to open.

If you want to buy her toys though then you could consider:

• Mud kitchen
• If you have a toy kitchen (and plenty of space!) then maybe a market, shop or construction bench to go with it.
• Step 2 water and sand table (the dinosaur one is fantastic and so much better quality than other brands)
• Duplo (the ‘play park‘ and ‘world animal’ sets are lovely).
• Wooden train set (Brio is great, but Little Dutch and BigJigs also do nice pieces. I’d buy the actual track from IKEA, Tesco or Aldi- it’s the same but much cheaper).
• Pretend play sets (doctor, vet, hairdresser, construction, police- whatever her older sister doesn’t have or that has been lost).
• Stuff like playdough or paint that gets used/dried out over time.
• Sticker books (the Usborne ‘my first sticker’ sets are nice for this age).
• Simple baking sets (the ones you can get in a bottle and just add eggs and milk would work well).

I reckon little kids need physically big presents. There is something so fun about a massive present even if cheap. We had a cardboard space rocket one year. Play tent or play tunnel can also be good.

4 Dc close in age and always keep the present pile the same amount however, the value can and does vary. I’m struggling with Dc4 this year as he doesn’t need anything big, happy with his cars, farm & trains, bike, scooter etc. I’ll get him some bits that will go with other stuff he & his siblings have eg more hot wheels cars that will go with the track he & his siblings play with. Dc1 got an expensive item last year and this year is getting smaller value items whilst his siblings get a high value item but all we get the same amount of presents. I have made a point over the years of managing expectations with present values & size differing with the kids which I start as soon as the Smyths catalogue drops through the door.

Another one saying keep the number of presents equal but don’t worry about the cost being equal. Clothes are fine, second hand is fine.

Mine loved toy kitchen stuff at that age. Or if you don’t own any already, magnetiles are great and can be suggested to grandparents who probably do want to spend the same amount on each child. And if you do have them, get some more!

At 2 both of mine loved giant floor puzzles, play dough, bath toys, cuddly toys from shows they liked.

Agree with above, at that age equal number is vastly more important than equal value.

If she likes playing dolls and plays with her sisters pram and baby, why not get her one of her own so they can play together. Maybe the doll and a carry cot or car seat as if anything like mine, she will want the same as her big sister.
Duplo, cars, craft, a toy for the garden?
It is hard. I have 3 and when they were little I realised the youngest had so much stuff passed on from others she didn’t really have much she would pick herself. I thought tickets to a play farm or soft play were a nice idea as something just for her when her sister is in school.

I'm another who'd keep to same number of presents and not worry about the money side.

Add to things that you already have. Does the play kitchen need new nicer food, extra duplo won't go wrong. Bell and streamers for the scooter.

Mine are almost 5 (boy) and almost 2 (girl) at Christmas. They're getting mainly coordinating gifts to play together, and a wooden train set with rc trains to share. They will have separate bits (she's getting a buggy and carrier for her baby doll), he's getting a new switch game, and it won't be remotely equal by price, but they don't understand that yet. Obviously as they get older this will have to change! But we're buying less this year as I always go overboard, and we already have way too much 'stuff' because of the 3 year gap and handing things down.

I have the same age gap and I used to buy them matching gifts. Dd2 just wanted to play with her sister so it caused far less arguments if she had her own doll/lego/house/figures etc.

Mine loved games at that age - hungry hippos, jenga, fishing game, orchard toys games (shopping list, tummy ache were favourites), pop up pirate, snakes & ladders, connect 4.

A tent with covers and a big squishy cuddly toys went down well at that age. We had the ikea circus tent it fit all 3 of us in for bedtime stories!!

Puppet theatre with puppets. Mine loved putting on shows 🤣 we had a foldable one so slid behind the sofa/bed when not being used.

Is there any character she really likes? My dd2 loved paw patrol but it wasn't around with dd1. So we got her lots of themed bits.

I agree with others that it's not necessary to balance things cost-wise every year; they will balance out over a timescale of several years eventually. Your 2yo won't know how much you've spent and neither will your 5yo.

My DC are 15, 11 and 5 this year. It would be madness to try and balance it - my youngest doesn't need expensive things, she needs lots of things to play with! Fair does not always mean equal.

I do try and balance things in terms of number of gifts though as we tend to open gifts one person at a time so I don't want one child ending up with a lot more than another. And tbh, we've always kept the really big ticket items like bikes etc for birthdays, so it's not obviously unbalanced!

In terms of gift ideas for your 2yo, Hobbycraft do wonderful colour-in cardboard playhouses. I got the ice cream van for my youngest a couple of years ago and I cannot tell the joy it brought! As far as she was concerned, it was her main and favourite present- it cost all of £10 in a sale!

https://www.hobbycraft.co.uk/search/?q=colour%20in%20cardboard

Other ideas for your 2yo:
Keyboard
Aquadoodle mat
Paints and art supplies
Happy land
Duplo
Playmobil
Maybe Sylvanian Families (some very little bits but their appeal lasts longer!)
Cuddly toy
Sticker books
Garden toys

Thanks everyone, some good ideas

For your 2 old, if you buy her a gift that can be opened and split up, eg 3 piece musical instrument set, then rather than wrapping the box so it’s one gift rather take the instruments out of the box and individually wrap them so it becomes 3 wrapped gifts.

Likewise (and I STILL do this with my teens 🤣) if one has more than another and I don’t want to open a box I will group things together and wrap as one eg my DD I might wrap a make-up bag, eyeshadow palette and nail polish set all together so instead of 3 separates it’s just one to unwrap.

Also, you just can’t go wrong with board books, interactive books, any books actually and you can often find really good specials when buying multiples then wrap individually.

If dd1's stuff is scuffed, have you considered upcycling it so it's like a new item?

It sounds like buying dd1 less to match dd2 is a better idea. The girls have no idea about the relative prices of things so they aren't going to be jealous about the amounts spent.

Magna tiles - everyone will play with them including you. Ditto duplo

Fun wellies - you may have old wellies but this is worth doing so they are "hers" in her favourite colour/theme.

DD was a big fan of hair bands at that age

Mini back pack - esp if older sister is off to school.

Art supplies, sticker books, build a bear