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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Bit of a sad one...

45 replies

ShellySarah · 03/10/2023 16:39

My mum has told me what she wants for Christmas. I think there is a real risk she won't be alive. She is terminally ill.

I was thinking of doing Christmas for her now with a card and present. She can't eat due to the cancer so it won't be like that.

I thought that was a good idea but now I'm thinking it may upset her more as she'll probably figure out why I'm doing it early.

OP posts:
FusionChefGeoff · 03/10/2023 18:59

Well that's perfect to go with pp suggestion "you need this now not waiting until Christmas so you can have it early / I've got something else in mind for Xmas"

OhComeOnFFS · 03/10/2023 19:01

Definitely buy it for her now - see if you can get some nice hand cream for her, too. It must be horrible for her being in hospital and feeling so ill, never mind having horrible smells around.

FinallyHere · 03/10/2023 19:01

TheYearOfSmallThings · 03/10/2023 16:50

I would let her know I had bought and wrapped it, but not give it to her. She is looking forward optimistically and that is better than any gift - and this way she gets to feel that you are also looking forward with the expectation that you will give her the gift at Christmas.

This

Absolutely this

There comes a time when it is perfect fine to humour any wishes, however odd because the chances are ...

So sorry you are facing this.

annonymousse · 03/10/2023 19:02

I would 100% buy it for her now and tell her she needs it now not when she comes home and that it's a cheery up/get well present and you will get her something else for Christmas. So sorry for what you're going through. If she doesn't make it til Christmas this will help you afterwards.

Chartreuse45 · 03/10/2023 19:02

My heart goes out to you OP, and all the others on this thread. The idea of getting her it now seems a great idea, let her enjoy smelling nice rather than the medical smells of a hospital. A "just because" present.

PinkDaffodil2 · 03/10/2023 19:05

Buy if for her now, tell her you had already got something in mind for Christmas but wanted to have it to help with going to hospital

medianewbie · 03/10/2023 19:15

Perfume makes it straightforward NOW I think ? 'Mum, I'm giving you this now, as the hospital smells so hospitally. Do t worry I've got you something else nice for Christmas which I'm really looking forward to giving you so you get 2 pressies which you definitely deserve for beingsuch a great mum. Now put some on & let's see how it smells on you.' Sorry for your situation x

Gemstar3 · 03/10/2023 19:15

I was a bit more in the “let her have hope” camp until your update about what it is OP. I absolutely agree to buy it and give it to her now as a “just because” present. It’s something you can get which will actually have a positive impact on her daily life, lift her mood and give her a bit of her dignity back. Perhaps she wanted to ask you to get her some but didn’t want to seem rude, which is why she said it was for Christmas? Sending hugs 💐

newmama311 · 03/10/2023 19:16

medianewbie · 03/10/2023 19:15

Perfume makes it straightforward NOW I think ? 'Mum, I'm giving you this now, as the hospital smells so hospitally. Do t worry I've got you something else nice for Christmas which I'm really looking forward to giving you so you get 2 pressies which you definitely deserve for beingsuch a great mum. Now put some on & let's see how it smells on you.' Sorry for your situation x

This xx

Roselilly36 · 03/10/2023 19:25

I agree with PP, mum I am giving this to you now, I have something else planned for Christmas. Keeps the situation light and positive. So sorry OP Flowers

newnametoday11 · 03/10/2023 19:33

Great little trees if you decide to celebrate early
https://www.bloomandwild.com/send-flowers/tagonly/christmas-trees?discountCode=15seho
I work in care and one of our residents got a similar one in October 2020 (family couldn't visit openly, it was even restricted to people who were at the end of life because of covid) we decorated it on her over bed table before the lady passed away a IT was really lovely and the tree is planted in the homes garden, we invited the family to see it before Christmas in 2022 and had a mince pie, cup of tea and reminisced with them about her life x

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Original poster
ShellySarah · 03/10/2023 19:35

1month · 03/10/2023 18:47

Get it for her now and say to cheer her up after all she’s been through.

Tell her you will get her something else for Xmas.

If she wants to be in denial then I’d go along with it too but I’d definitely get her the present asap so she can appreciate it.

Are you able to say what it is?

She wants perfume. As hospital smells horrible and she wants to smell nice.

OP posts:
1month · 03/10/2023 19:42

medianewbie · 03/10/2023 19:15

Perfume makes it straightforward NOW I think ? 'Mum, I'm giving you this now, as the hospital smells so hospitally. Do t worry I've got you something else nice for Christmas which I'm really looking forward to giving you so you get 2 pressies which you definitely deserve for beingsuch a great mum. Now put some on & let's see how it smells on you.' Sorry for your situation x

Yes this!! ❤️

SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything · 03/10/2023 19:44

ShellySarah · 03/10/2023 19:35

She wants perfume. As hospital smells horrible and she wants to smell nice.

Show quote history

I would absolutely buy her it tomorrow and say you want her to smell lovely too. X

whereaw · 03/10/2023 20:16

If she's like some of the women in my family, tell her you're buying it now because she deserves to smell amazing now, but also because they put the prices right up before Christmas so you're just being economical! Smile I truly hope she gets another special gift at Christmas too.

Sending love to you both

Nagado · 03/10/2023 21:01

Another vote for giving it to her now. Tell her she needs it now because she’s putting up with the hospital smell now and that, come Christmas, you want her to be home and not even thinking about hospitals. So she gets to benefit from it now and still believe that she and everyone she loves is remaining positive.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but you sound very kind and thoughtful and I’m sure you’re making life a lot happier for her 💐

NoraLuka · 04/10/2023 08:23

If it’s perfume 100% get it as soon as you can to cheer her up.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 04/10/2023 14:23

I'm so sorry for your situation
It's very hard for you to cope when she's in denial
Definitely gift her the perfume now, so she can feel uplifted by her fragrance
You'll know she'll enjoy it and I know it's so sad to say, but you will smell " her" when she is no longer with you
I lost my DM 22 years ago and I still spray her perfume around sometimes
You can always buy her the matching body lotion for Christmas

TeeBee · 05/10/2023 05:25

Get it for her now. It's not only about how she feels, it's also about you having the joy of giving it to her. My dad died this year. Trust me, buy it now.

OMGitsnotgood · 05/10/2023 07:52

Yes knowing it was perfume tipped it over to the 'give it now' camp for me too. Tell her it's partly a Christmas present and partly a gift to make her hospital stay more pleasant. Assure her there will be other gifts under the tree for her on Christmas Day.

Such a sad & difficult time for you OP. Give her the perfume asap, I found it was things like that that brought me some comfort when the time came xxx

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