Scaling down presents

[ColdinNovember]

Has anybody done this without the children noticing or feeling hard done by?

I have been/in process of huge declutter and it’s making conscious of what I want to bring into my house. I want Christmas to feel fun and special but without the excess.

Ex-P Will no doubt get them lots and his family Christmas will probably feel more fun with cousins etc compared to mine but I really don’t want to over compensate with gifts.

I fall for ‘bargains’ at times but really want to resist and just get things that will be wanted and appreciated long term rather than the 10 minute present frenzy.

I know the whole ‘want, need, wear and read’ but it feels a little, I don’t know, joyless maybe?

I just give all DC a budget of £150 and they can pick what they want. They get a £50-60 stocking with bits I know they need. That's it no extras.

It’s a nice idea for presents to only be things they’ll really like

I'm also scaling down. Too much stuff is just an expensive, stressful nightmare.
DS4 is getting a £10 cardboard colour in castle from Hobbycraft as his big "wow" present this year. I figure it will look big and impressive when I stage it as if Santa has started to colour it in, he will love it, it will be easily moved out the way then chucked in the recycling when he's done with it.
Other than that, his gifts will be physically small. I felt like the walls were coming in on me last year, even though I was pretty restrained by many people's standards. It's when family and friends add to the pile that it starts to get out of control.
Currently selling on many of DSDs old presents which are still in sealed boxes. Such a colossal waste of money.

How old are your children?

We’ve done split Christmases before and it has looked like a lot less stuff but I’ve just reminded them they’re getting more when they go to Granny’s or wherever. We get one of the children to hand out presents one at a time which makes it last longer. Smaller Christmases also mean more time to go for a walk or play a board game or with their new toys which they seem to appreciate. Make the focus more on what you’re doing than the presents.

I don’t like want need wear read because it feels too prescriptive which is weird because I do have my own formula. A main present (usually between £60-100 but it’s been way lower in the past as well), books (or a book), a smaller/secondary present from us then a stocking and a £20ish present (again has been way lower depending on what they want) from Father Christmas. I’ve tried to cut the stocking down this year which has been hard as that’s where I always get really carried away.

6 and 9. Fairly sure 9 doesn’t believe but isn’t ready to admit it. She isn’t into toys so much and don’t want her to feel hard done by compared to her brother, but this has previously resulted in a few 5 minute wonder type of gift.

What about getting something you can all do together. So a board game or a game for the switch or something like Jack box games that is a shared gift everyone can do together. So then it can be a bit of fun opening but then a shared experience to sort of keep the magic up for a bit.

But I know for some kids they just like the volume of opening. So if its a boxset of books, or a craft set or whatever wrap them individually.

What presents do you normally get them and how many/what budget?

"Want, wear, need, read" is a good start but you can have more than one in each category.

Consumable things, so chocolate, hot chocolate and marshmallows, stuff to do baking with, bath stuff.

Season tickets to a local attraction they like to go to.

Snuggly dressing gowns and PJs in the next size up that you'd need to get them at some point anyway.

I'm absolutely sticking to the things they really want eg DS11 is mad about Lego & is desperate for particular sets so although they are expensive I'd rather spend the money on them rather than extra stuff like new dressing gowns, slippers, bedding (I will replace these as needed throughout the year). The pile will definitely look smaller but hopefully with wow presents.

I am scaling back this year purely because the DC (15 and 11) cannot say what they’d like. The things for stockings that I buy every year as staples are still hanging around, unused, from last year (all practical presents, but they simply don’t need them). And I have very few ideas!

I excelled myself last year with presents, but they simply don’t need anything this year and they just don’t seem to ask for things like other kids I know.

I’m going to get DS1 more involved in pre-Christmas, so things like the food back shop that we do every year, food planning, cooking, games to play etc. And make that more of a focus.

Getting Smyths catalogue and letting DD6 choose 3 things she wants, limiting it to 3. Then ‘experience’ presents, like theatre tickets. For stocking sticking to consumables like chocolate, bath bombs. For the younger one things they need that I would have had to buy anyway like socks - going to put a lot more thought into it this year to avoid buying cr

I’m lucky with ds (15) that he knows what he wants this year - AirPods type things. He’s also hinted at a couple of rugby jerseys he would like. None of those are cheap so it will just be those 3 presents and his small stocking on his bedroom door that just has chocolates, popcorn etc..
It’s better to buy less and concentrate on what they will actually really make use of.

I get mine a main present which is something they ask for. Then a lot of the other things are consumables/things they need. So they get clothes, sweets/chocolate/drinks/American cereal etc. and also toiletries. I also get some books and a few other little things they want. So they get a lot but most of it will not clutter up the house. They are 11 and 16.

I'm a big fan of resisting the pointless bargains and cannot bear the "tat" presents that no one wants. Focus on what you know they love - hobbies, interests, favourite treats. But also don't overlook experiences. Gifts don't need to be new physical things, they could also be tickets to something, membership to something, a new class/hobby sign-up, subscription to something, sponsorship of an animal, etc.
Likewise, if the other side of the family will have lots of presents and cousins to play with and you want fewer presents and don't have a big extended family, you can balance that with quality time with just you, having fun together, baking cakes together, going to see a show together, going to look at local Christmas lights, etc.
In my experience kids love doing stuff with their parents that they don't get to do often, so you can really focus on Christmas treats that involve doing something rather than opening something.

I feel exactly the same way. I've always enjoyed shopping for them, but this year I've been working way more hours and consequently have had no time to declutter and feel very overwhelmed at the moment, in particular finding craft sets etc from last Christmas not yet used! I think the way to bulk it out without permanently filling the house will be with consumables mostly. I might make them a big hamper each with their favourite snacks, pringles etc maybe also a toiletries hamper, things like squirty soap, character bath bomb? Also to avoid overbuying I'm saving money instead of deal shopping and will do it all a week or 2 before in one go.

I’m also in this place ( and have an ex with a much bigger family Xmas vibe). I have my eldest DS who has adhd and still at 12 likes lots of boxes.

Like others I’m bulking with consumables they will use, food and then shower gels and stuff. From experience these do get used up over the year! Also got some more expensive boxers as they both like them!

I’ve had a chat with them about getting less as more expensive. My youngest just really wants squishmallows - which he loves and does play with and collect - normally I’d resist buying him more than one , but have decided if that’s what he really wants and will love then I will!

I'm not (really) scaling back but sticking to my £150 budget for each child, including Santa and stocking, but I'm finding the money isn't going as far this year so it'll feel scaled back, I think!

We largely do the want, need, wear, read thing with a couple of extras thrown in and something from Santa. So like this year, DS7 will (most likely) get new clothes/outfit, a set of Percy Jackson books, Lego, an Oodie (cheap version from Asda) from us and then a skateboard and pads from Santa. We are quite fortunate that we have a lot of family so it always have a rather large stack of gifts from them too but I do like to know I've spoiled my kids a bit.

I'm going to attempt a declutter after the October half-term to make space. In our house we love board games, jigsaws, cars, dinosaurs and craft sets but I think I need to donate/sell a lot of the old imaginative play toys now. I think consumables are a really good shout if you're looking to keep on top of the clutter!

What about an experience or trip for you and them in the new year? Tickets to the lion king or wicked - or something you think they'd prefer, Disney on ice for example? Or a trip to a theme park, night away in a hotel and trip to the zoo?
Can package it up fancy with brochure, couple of toys linked to the trip etc and they then have something to look forward to. Could do it as a kind of treasure hunt if you had time/inclination with clues leading to the final present.

I did this with my dc as XH always went OTT with gifts and I wasn't competing and they had too much tat anyway! They loved it and still talk about going to see the lion king and going on a red London bus! That was 14 years ago! Used Tesco vouchers for pizza express which kept cost down too.

And I agree about experiences, I am asking for money from grandparents to put towards taking my DD to Matilda. Also money for my DS to go to a concert of his choice.

I found buying the thing or things my DC really wanted and then just one or two tiny surprise things worked well.
I started doing this after Martin Lewis suggested it, he explained that a lot of people panic buy for their DC and buy extra £20 things that aren’t needed because of present pile size guilt.

I’m not a fan of the “something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read” or what ever it is.

My DC are older teens now and each year I have tried to cut down a little, this year I’m hoping not to buy much at all. I have clutter, I hate tat that gets broken or is never used. The amount of times I have gone to clear out DD’s room and there’s things she got for Christmas that have never been opened. They get to chose one gift, then I buy a couple surprises and we do stockings (probably around £20 on stocking, just little things and mainly food). My dc have never had much from the rest of the family and their father gives them cash or takes them shopping (£100 limit) so I often feel bad and buy extra.

I try and picture what they will play with and what will have the “wow” factor on Christmas Day. I find when they get too much sometimes things are not appreciated or get over looked.

😮

DD has roller skates DS a scooter. DS also has a Lego set DD will get some Posca pens and some blanks (any recommendations?). A couple of board games for us all. I will see if they put anything else on their lists that is not costly. Giving them a Smyths catalogue was a mistake lots of things ‘wanted’ but most will not be played with after 5 minutes I think!

I should have added they are now adult DC. My youngest just picked out 2 bar stools for the kitchen in his new house and a slow cooker.