First Christmas where DC’s “don’t believe” and a tight budget - ideas desperately needed!

[TKR]

This is the first year both DC’s don’t believe in Santa (a bit older than average as both have SEN) I am also incredibly strapped for cash and don’t know how to make Christmas special so it’s not a massive let down? Any ideas will be very very gratefully received.

I have so many questions.

What does your Christmas look like? Is it at home with you or are wider friends and family involved?

Do their SEN place any restrictions/limitations on presents or activities?

What is your anticipated present budget for each of them and what sort of things are they into?

Also, what part of the country are you based in (Nearest city or large town)? (I’m not planning on stalking you or anything but so many free things happen at Christmas)

Thanks for your reply @Nagado
I didn’t put in those details as I thought they would make my post too long and complicated to reply to!
DD1 is 15 but more like age 8/9 emotionally and her interests. Very into animals, dogs, and cuddly toys. Her best day ever (if money were no object) would be going to build a bear and doing that whole experience. Whilst she knows about Santa now from her younger sister asking questions, she refuses to acknowledge this as true so I still have to keep up the appearance of Santa (which I would do anyway with stocking etc)

DD2 is 11, also autistic/adhd/dyspraxic She is into more typical tween things - starting to like make up/clothes but needs guidance/help as otherwise it would be spilt in her room/all over carpet. Can’t be left with nail varnish or lip gloss unsupervised! Not sporty as she finds it too difficult. She has just stopped playing with Lego/playmobil etc which coupled with no Santa leaves me at a blank with how to make it exciting for her. She is devastated the big man was all a big con and cried for days when she asked me…
so I want to continue with stocking for her and need to make it still seem exciting!

It has to be just me and them on Christmas Day as DD1 can’t deal with other people in the house at the best of times and especially not at Christmas. Previously we have woken up early (some mornings at 3/4am as they don’t sleep well!) open presents then play allllllllll day, watch tv, I make them chicken nuggets as they don’t eat Christmas food. It has been pretty manic previously as money hasn’t been as tight and has been spent with Lego/magic sets/playmobil etc etc. This year I’m desperate for it not to be a let down. I was trying to think of family games we could play together (although that usually presents many challenges also!) They do have a Nintendo Switch but we don’t really have any games currently that they play on it (we play monopoly when I have the energy for the discombobulation/arguments that it brings!)

Hope that’s not too much extra info!!
Budget I’m hoping for £75 each including stockings.

Oh and we can’t do panto as they hate them!

Aldi often do those squishmallow toys which sound like something your eldest might enjoy. Also look on eBay / Vinted and Facebook now for things like build a bear entire wardrobes of clothes plus bear. I know it's not the experience but it's something.
Starting now means you will be able to stretch your budget by picking up bits and pieces

Revolution make up fort he youngest maybe. It's cheap and cheerful and will appeal to a younger teen

Maybe Grabola for a game?

Little succulent plants for the eldest maybe? Cheap yet eye catching

Sign up to Borrow My Doggy and find a nice family who want their dog walking. Would your eldest like to do this? (Half joking but it's something a bit different!)

I reckon Pinterest is your friend here.

Can you wrap the door to the living room with Xmas paper so they have to burst through? What about Christmas crafts - decorating a gingerbread house each? (They are in Aldi for a fiver I think?) matching Xmas pyjamas maybe and a hot chocolate the night before?

if you scour charity shops they will have loads of cuddly toys, and the range does girlie craft sets quite cheaply for making bracelets / bath bombs etc. I think you can make the presents pile look quite impressive with your budget if you shop around. I hope you have a wonderful day, and have some joy for you too in amongst making it special for your girls x

For DD2, I know it’s the experience she loves, but if it’s of any use, Build a Bear are currently having a Christmas in July sale and they’ve got accessories in it starting from a few pounds, so if she already has a bear, you might pick up some stocking fillers for her.

Would something like this work too?

There are some lovely things in the sales at the moment, if they're into Disney at all then ShopDisney have some Christmas stuff in their sale at the moment. The Works have board games and craft stuff for good prices, and compare their website with the store as sometimes there's a difference. You can usually get a kit there or in Hobbycraft for a couple of pounds to make your own decoration each, then make an event of it by making them while you watch a Christmas film. Are they into reading? There are usually some big box sets, again in The Works. You could also try making your own family Christmas soundtrack with all your favourite festive music.

Sorry for spamming you, but this seems similar to build a bear in terms of the stuffing and heart. I know it’s not the same, but wondering if it would tick that box for her!

Have either kids ever had a family fund grant? If not or if more then a year ago could you apply for one? You can get them for things like garden play equipment, games consoles or sensory play stuff, which could make a lovely gift.

The range sells those diamond painting sets quite cheaply- they occupy my two teenagers for hours - you can get some animal themed ones.
would they like some of the grown up Lego sets like the flowers?
the cheap oodies went down a storm here - we all live in them.
M&S usually sell Xmas tree shaped chicken nuggets if you want to make your food more festive.
could you get a new game for the switch and then have tournaments?
We do a drive round the town ‘scoring’ Christmas lights - would that work for your two as they can stay in the car and not have to mix with others and then if it gets too much you can just go home.

Not a gift idea, but do they like doing anything crafty? 1 memorable Christmas for me was making Christmas decorations with my mum and little brother. My mum still uses them 35+ yrs on.

How to make a Christmas pomander - National Geographic Kids (natgeokids.com)

Buy plain baubles and each can decorate with a glitter glue stick- 'Childs name Christmas 2023' etc

Paper chains to hang around the house using newspaper or magazine. Lidl do coloured papers when they have their 'craft' week on also

Collect pine cones of various sizes, cover in eco glitter, ribbons and use as tree decorations or make into a table centrepiece

The Christmas shopping threads on here are good for bargains and there's some great bargain groups on Facebook. My budget is about the same as yours. Do your like Lego? Amazon often have great deals on it.We have done lots of different things over the years including crafts, read aloud, as well as presents. One of our favourite things to do is go to the cinema Christmas eve or you can put 'tickets' in their stockings ..there a new Willy Wonka movie out this year. I know it's not particularly cheap but it can be part of their present if you think they can cope with it. Make sure your stockings aren't too big....we put a lot of edibles in ours ...a tube of Pringles? and even regular stuff like new knickers and pens. I try not to buy totally weird stuff that they probably will end up under the bed. I feel your pain having various special need kids here

Oh my goodness, thank you all SO much for your replies. I’ll make notes properly tomorrow abd come back to thank everyone, but I’m really grateful for all your replies and great suggestions! 💐

Start checking out charity shops for ideas and bits. I got a plush toy my 9yo was desperate for and I couldn’t find anywhere for £2 the other day just by taking shelter from the rain in a charity shop I’d not been in before. The same 9yo loves her makeup, I got her a perfect pink make up case a couple of years ago for £4 from a charity shop. Last year we upgraded it and I got her one from home bargains. I usually buy bits of makeup there for all 3 of my DDs, it’s cheap and I don’t mind them trashing it. My 9yo is the only one who actually cares about makeup though so she also gets nicer bits, for these I pick bits up through out the year when I see them on sale. We have a catalog outlet near us so I’m lucky I can get bits in there regularly. Last year I managed to fill the new case with loads of stuff for her really cheaply.

One of my DDs also got a squishy mellow from a charity shop recently, looked brand new.

To make things look bigger and fun on the day you could get creative with boxing, a box in a box or shredded/tissue paper in a giant box and they could hunt for their presents (ALDIs big crisp boxes are great)

You can buy your own build a bear type sets, I’ve seen them in Aldi, maybe make some keepsakes to put in side them, a heart, secret message to Santa etc.. you could buy an extra bag of cushion filler to fill them out more. My DD uses it to make her own squishy toys, she makes the outer layer out of paper and cello tape then stuffs the filler inside to make her own toy. She’s also teaching herself how to crochet as she wants to make little crochet dolls and animals. Would you older dd be able to do something like this?

Not everyone is a fan but I like shein and aliexpress for stocking fillers and novelty bits.

Also keep an eye out for the Hobbycraft sale, I think it was September last year, they had loads of great arts and crafts stuff on sale, I bought a load of art stuff really cheap last year.

Would your dds like popcorn made in the pan? I think of it as quite Christmassy because it's in Little House on the Prairie. I remember them making tree decorations out of it... might be a step too far. A nice homey thing to do on Christmas Eve maybe.

I know it's basic but I always make paper snowflakes for my windows at Christmas, just the fold and cut ones (one year I'll admit i nicked a few sheets of paper from the office for them). And ds and I still make paper chains together.

You sound like a wonderful parent and I'm sure whatever you do will be special for them. Could you decorate your living room into some kind of grotto effect (fairy lights, fake snow on windows, snowflake decorations you could make yourself etc.) and on Xmas Day set up their favourite films and give them 'ticket's to the film and tickets for foods like popcorn, hot dogs, the chicken nuggets they like etc.? Kind of like a den, cushions on the floor type of thing? Just thinking that way you might also get a bit of time to relax and seeing the room done up differently would make it special for them?

As others have said, search for Xmas stuff now as a lot is on sale (Amazon!) and get their favourite foods in to have throughout the day. Do they like going out for walks? Getting all bundled up with hot drinks would be nice then come home to a movie?

Would DD2 like some of the more advanced Lego sets perhaps to keep her occupied? Check eBay and charity shops now for things. Boots usually do the 3-for-2 nearer to the time so can definitely get her some makeup bits (and maybe a mat to practice on!).

For DD1 would those crafty 'create your own' animal sets be any good? WH Smith quite often have a sale table near the door with lots of things reduced so keep an eye out.

Have you done the B.A.B experience thing? It’s £45 and you get to a £45 voucher plus they treat you like a member of staff and show you the stock room, let you fill the stuffing machine etc. it comes in a little box so you can wrap it up for Xmas day

A box with a large movie ticket (that you make, print one off or get someone to print one off on some card stock) some popcorn or something to eat whilst watching the film and maybe hot chocolate mix in a new mug? Or just the new mug if they don't like hot chocolate. Each child gets to choose a film, instructions on the ticket.

Wrap a doorway and let them burst through, or two doorways so they can do one each. When mine were younger we did a giant A3 book of those find me items with tear off a page a day, so a Christmas themed picture with items hidden and you have to find the stocking, the Christmas cracker etc and you cross off what you find. I think I got them from The Works or somewhere similar. B&M is a good place for that sort of thing. There are lots of things like bingo cards you can print and there are bingo caller apps, or word searches which can be specific to their interests, you put your own words in and it creates them for you.

I am not sure how crafty you are or they are but chalk pens on a window to decorate, you can attach a print off to the outside and trace it on the inside if you are not good at free hand. I do this every Christmas, loads of inspiration online from simple to more complicated. Just google Christmas window drawing or painting to see what I mean.

If you haven't got Pinterest, honestly it is chock full of ideas of things to do for very little money. Both my children were upset when they discovered other people filled their stocking. They still hang it up every year, my youngest is 17 and they still say it is for Father Christmas.

I think simple things can be made into a christmassy event by giving them a build up. So Christmas baking, Christmas film night, Christmas board game night. I find the inclusion of hot chocolate helps make lots of things christmassy.

If your usual Christmas day would involve playing with presents, would the dc spend time on a more grown up craft instead? Diamond painting, or polymer clay maybe?

We always have a gift for after lunch, which is a board game to play together.

Would you be able to do a jigsaw together? That can be quite fun.

I've printed a quiz off the internet before which has gone down well.

One Tradition I have with my DC (he's 24 at Christmas and she's 21 , so definately beyond the Father Christmas years )

There's a house about a mile from us and they go OTT with the decorations . I swear you will see this house from space . I'm beginning to think they have Professional Decorators in.

We drive past , at night . There are cars slowing down to look so we prepare ourselves , go round the corner and , in the words of Bart Simpson Prepare To Be Dazzled

Only do this once/twice but so worth the trip

Lidl have squishmallows as special buy from tomorrow

I always think arts and crafty bits work great. Paint your own animal sets, big art sets in general, jewellery making etc and can pick up some really good ones in the works

i have an autistic teenager who loves board games. Surprisingly she loves monopoly no matter how long it takes but apart from that one prefers shorter games
Dobble is great for all ages (and short!) and so is rat a tat cat
Bank attack was also a surprise hit as you all work together and old favourites like connect 4 and battleships can be bought very cheaply.
Baking kit has gone down very well in the past - just some packages from supermarket (Victoria sponge, cookie mix etc) with a baking tray and spatula etc
Christmas fudge is cheap and easy to make - mostly condensed milk, icing sugar, white chocolate and then your flavour (we like Oreo and M&S flavour)
Craft kits and painting by numbers (adult) can be picked up for £1-2 from the Range or the works
Mug cake mix and a nice mug is a good stocking filler (and takes up a lot of space!)
stationary is always useful and a good stocking filler
Home Bargains and B&M have nice lipgloss, nail polish etc sets in for £3-5
Claires usually have some great offers on hair accessories and make up
Gift card from Primark May use up a lot of your budget but makes a great day out after Christmas when they can go out and choose an outfit. My DD got £20 from a friend and was amazed how much she got there for that.
Glass pen set and some cheap glasses/vases was a success too
Mine don’t believe anymore but we still love Christmas. Movie and popcorn on Christmas Eve with a mini buffet dinner followed by a hot chocolate station ( sachets, whipped cream, sprinklers, marsh mallows and a candy cane to stir) and they normally have a new bath bomb afterwards
They still love waking up to stockings on Christmas morning. It’s still special, but different

I got a build a bear bundle of clothes on ebay for about 15 quid, it included flashing trainers thay would have been fun in actual child size! My niece loved it.

Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply. Thank you for all the great suggestions, I really appreciate everyone taking the time to share. I’m feeling more positive now and am armed with ideas! Thanks so much.